The Certainty of Violet & Luke(54)

But it’s harder tonight. Between the call about my mother and the fact that my father got me all worked up at dinner. All that talk about worrying about me and then trying to make stuff up to me – it had push me toward the edge, and now the phone call has me teetering somewhere mid-fall. And then there’s Violet and her reaction to Trevor’s question about marriage and how she made it clear that she was against it and for some crazy ass reason that got under my skin – not sure why the f*ck it did, but it did. It’s not like I want to get married, at least not in this decade, but the fact that she seemed so against it – against being with someone forever – made me start to wonder how long she was planning on sticking around. And that reminded me of how I said I love her and how she clearly doesn’t reciprocate the feeling. So what am I to her? I have no idea.

I’m riled up on the inside, letting things get under my skin too much and pretending to be okay on the outside, just like I used to all the time. Thankfully, my friends decided to choose the lower section of the place where alcohol isn’t served, otherwise I’d have caved the moment we walk in. It makes it easier to stay away from it and I have a good distraction – Violet and her god damn leather dress. The thing barely covers her ass making her long legs look nearly endless. And those boots with those heels … Jesus f*cking Christ, she’s sexy as hell. The music’s good too for the most part, plus it’s nice to hang out with Kayden, Callie, Seth, Greyson and Violet all at one time.

The whole place screams edgy Halloween theme with black lights, mist, and spray paint covering the walls and almost everyone is dressed up in some sort of costume. There’s this neon effect going on and everything with bright colors and in white glows. Violet would blend in with the darkness, but Seth, Callie and her decided to take this weird lipstick-looking thing and draw all over the skin showing, which means Violet is glowing with designs and patterns on almost every inch of her body.

Yes, f*cking ridiculously sexy.

‘I’m going to dance. Who wants to save seats?’ Violet rises from her chair. We’ve secured a table as close to the dance floor and stage as possible, so losing the seats would suck.

Seth and Greyson both jump from their barstools. ‘Not it,’ Seth calls out, then grabs Callie’s hand and pulls both Greyson and her toward the dance floor before anyone can protest.

Violet looks at me and I give her the best smile I can muster. ‘Go ahead. I’ll sit this one out.’

She hesitates. ‘You sure?’

I nod and force my smile to be more cheery – more fake. ‘Yes, go.’ I wave at her to get a move on.

She whirls toward the dancing area and I feel this instantaneous urge to follow her, remembering how sexy Violet is when she dances. But I’m not sure I’m in the mood, nor do I want to bail and leave Kayden sitting solo, so I keep my ass planted in the chair.

‘I have a f*cking headache,’ I mutter and take a sip of my Coke, wondering if maybe my blood sugar’s low or if I’m just really stressed.

‘You look like you haven’t slept in a while,’ Kayden states, glancing at his cellphone screen. ‘We probably shouldn’t stay out too long considering we have a game tomorrow.’

‘Yeah, probably.’ I’m distracted as a waitress with a tray full of shot glasses walks by. I thought they don’t serve alcohol here? I watch her as she pushes her way through the crowd heading for a spiral staircase. She struggles to balance the tray as she maneuvers her way up the stairs and to the top area – the twenty-one and over area. I have a fake ID and even though this place is notorious for being able to identify fake ID’s, I think about going up there. Honestly, if I wanted to, I could wait for the waitress to come back and charm her until she gives me one. I don’t want to, but I just keep thinking about how things would be so much easier to deal with tonight if I could have just one sip.

Just one.

‘I think I’m going to see how long Callie wants to stay,’ Kayden gets out of the chair. ‘You can ride back with us if you want.’

I nod, my gaze drifting back and forth between the stairway and him. ‘Yeah, if Violet’s ready to go … then okay.’

He wavers, tucking his phone into the back pocket of his jeans. ‘You gonna be okay here alone for a few minutes?’

‘What? Are we babysitting each other now?’ I question, when really I probably do need babysitting right now.

He seems torn, glancing over his shoulder at the staircase, in the direction I keep glancing in. It’s clear what I’m looking at and it’s clear he’s going to stick around if I don’t reassure him that I’m not going to go chasing down my addiction.