The Anti-Boyfriend(58)

In love, huh? He’d just put a label on my feelings for Carys. I knew that was the official name for what I’d been feeling, but I hadn’t acknowledged it—not to myself or anyone else, least of all Carys. Maybe it was time I did.

“I’m glad I saw things clearly before I moved to Japan.”

“So, what does this mean—you guys shacking up yet?”

“No. I was able to keep my apartment. And we’re taking things slow, trying to get to know each other on a deeper level.”

He wriggled his brows. “I bet.”

“Yeah, that too. Lots of that. But we have time set aside to go out and be alone together. It’s not easy, so we make the best of whatever time we get.”

“So…if you don’t mind my asking, what the hell changed?”

“What do you mean?”

“You said before that you never wanted to get involved with someone who had a kid, that you didn’t want to be a father. Your feelings for Carys changed that? Like she has a magical pussy that makes you want to have kids?”

That made me cringe. And he’d just touched on my sore spot, the one thing eating away at me, the thing that made it impossible to fully exhale when it came to my relationship with Carys. I’d learned to appreciate Sunny in my life, but the fear of being responsible for her, of somehow letting her down, still paralyzed me. But the selfish part of me didn’t want to face my doubts right now—because I enjoyed being with Carys too much.

“I’m still working through that part,” I answered.

I wasn’t about to delve into all this with Adrian right now—or ever, really. This day had been perfect, and I wanted to keep it that way.

“I care about Sunny a lot,” I said. “And I want what’s best for her. Time will tell if what’s best for her…is me.”

“Okay, fair enough. I’ll stop prying. I just don’t want to see you getting in over your head.”

“I get it. Thank you for your concern,” I said. “I’m just going to try to be honest with her every step of the way.”

He changed the subject to Formula One racing, and I blew out a sigh of relief.

After Adrian left, I waited in line for a latte to take back to Carys. It had only been a couple of hours since we were together, but I missed her. I realized just how strong my feelings for her had become.

When the barista grabbed a venti cup off the stack for Carys’s drink, I asked if I could borrow a Sharpie to write something on it.

My heart raced as I waited. When the barista finished steaming the milk and poured the drink, she placed a lid on the cup and turned toward me.

“Venti one-pump vanilla latte for…” She paused. “I love you, Carys?”

I lifted my hand and smiled. “That’s me.”





CHAPTER 20





Carys



TOUCHDOWN




In the two months that followed, Deacon’s and my appetite for each other remained insatiable. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced. We had sex almost every night. He’d come over after Sunny went to sleep. We’d hang out, talk, drink wine, and ultimately go at it like animals. Then he’d go back to his apartment in the morning.

Fortunately, we had a date scheduled for later this afternoon. It was a cool, crisp Saturday in September, and I couldn’t wait to go out and enjoy the fall weather once the sitter arrived. Unfortunately, I’d gotten my period, so there would be no sexy times for once.

Deacon was running errands today, so he’d agreed to go to the store for me. He was supposed to be picking up super-sized tampons, among other things.

A text came in not long after he left.



Deacon: What’s the difference between Super and Super Plus?



Carys: Super Plus is bigger, more absorbent. But I don’t really notice a difference.



Deacon: Am I…Super Plus or Super? ;-)



Carys: Definitely Super Plus.



Deacon: So, you notice the difference then…when it comes to me?



I rolled my eyes.



Carys: Oh yes.



Deacon: Damn. I’d hate to be Regular. Or worse, Light. (Shivers) That would suck.



Shopping was always an adventure with this man. Deacon stopped texting, so I assumed he’d found what he needed and left.

A few minutes later, another text came in.



Deacon: Do you think Sunny would like this?



He’d attached a picture of himself flashing a huge smile and holding a mini toy shopping cart filled with plastic fruits and vegetables.



Carys: Hard to tell. But I think it’s adorable.



Deacon: Show her the picture. See if she reacts.



I brought the phone over to where Sunny was playing. She smiled when I showed her the photo. But I suspected it wasn’t the toy.



Carys: She smiled. But I’m pretty sure she’s smiling at you. She’s just as smitten as I am.



Deacon: I fucking love you, Carys.



My heart wanted to leap out of my chest.



Carys: I fucking love you, too.