Smolder (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, #29)(39)

“I feel your pain and confusion, and it hurts me that you are so unhappy, but tonight I simply don’t seem to care.”

“I ask you again, sister, are you fit for duty tonight?” Ru said.

“I can guard her against anyone.” Ru drew me in closer but thanks to the heels I was taller than him for a change, and I could see Rodina glaring at us over his shoulder. I wrapped my arms over his shoulders and gave her very serious eye contact, as I lowered my head and drew in a deep breath of

the scent of his skin. It wasn’t just him, but his leopard underneath. Leopard smelled like home to me now, thanks to living with Micah and Nathaniel. Rodina’s glare spread so she looked enraged. The only excuse for what I did next was that I was hurting, and she was hurting, and I’d rather have picked a fight than deal with my own emotional shit. I smiled over her brother’s shoulder and settled myself around him, pressing my body so close that I’d probably compromised his ability to react if we were attacked. It was stupid, childish, but Rodina and I had that effect on each other.

He kept his head turned to see his sister, but his body reacted to the unexpected cuddling not in the usual male way, but by letting go of some tension that I hadn’t even known he was holding, until he settled into my arms and my body like he’d been waiting for someone to hold him. It reminded me of holding his hand in the car, but more intimate. Not sexual, but intimate like someone you trust to hold you and not take advantage. It wiped the teasing smile from my face because I wanted to be worthy of his trust. Playing stupid games with his sister wasn’t trustworthy, or even kind. Ru must have felt the change in my body because he readjusted so that he kept the close contact but moved one arm and one leg to the side so that I could still plaster myself against his right side, but his left was free to move.

Both of them were ambidextrous when it came to fighting, as most of the Harlequin were. He stopped letting me hold him for real so he could defend me better.

“Can you guard her against emotional pain, sister?”

“No one can do that.”

“I’m holding her, trying to soothe her, what are you doing to help?”

“I see how much she’s enjoying the soothing,” she said, and she sounded jealous. It wasn’t usually the tone you heard from sisters. I knew she and Ru weren’t a couple, and she seemed to hate me, so what the hell was she jealous of in this moment? Then I fought free of the emotional fallout in my own head and thought what she might be feeling today. Shit.

I stopped laying my head on Ru’s shoulder and looked at her more directly. “I’m sorry you’re hurting, Rodina.”

“You can’t feel my emotions. I’m drowning in yours, but you can’t feel my pain at all.”

“If you’d told Claudia it was your shared birthday she would have understood.”

“Ru, how could you tell her? Her of all people.”

“She held my hand in the car while I cried.”

She stared at us sort of wildly. “You comforted him?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Like I’m comforting her now,” Ru said.

“An evil queen doesn’t need comfort, she needs revenge, violence, not tears and handholding.”

“Mommie Darkest was a sociopath. It kind of limited her emotional range,” I said.

“She was a great power, and you are nothing in comparison!” She shouted it. A couple paused on the sidewalk behind her, the woman clinging harder to the man’s arm. I realized there were more people across the narrow street staring at us. They’d probably been looking at us for a while, but I’d been too busy cuddling with Ru to notice.

“Sister, you are attracting attention.”

She glanced back at the couple and opened her mouth, taking a deep breath as if to yell at them, and then she seemed to remember herself, or at least think better of her behavior. Ru spoke into that silence, “I ask again, Rodina, are you fit for duty tonight?”

Her spine was rigid, shoulders back like she’d come to sudden attention. Her voice was as controlled as her body. “All three of us were bred to be ready, and since our brother cannot be here to prove his worth, I will.”

Rodina stepped away from her brother so I could see her clearly. She made sure that she was standing in front of me when she bowed low and graceful like she should have been wearing something swashbuckling, or at least a hat to doff as she did it. She came up smiling. “May I offer the lady an arm on the uneven pavement?”

The door opened and Ethan came through it. He looked at all of us. “What did I miss?”

“Your duty,” Rodina said.

“Don’t go all dark and twisted again,” I said.

“He was neglectful of your safety,” she said.

“What took so long inside?” I asked.

“Security called from Guilty Pleasures; they want me to bring one of the cars to park in a spot nearer the club.”

“Is anything wrong?” I asked.

“I think they just found a closer parking space, that’s all,” he said.

“By the time I walk back to the car and let you drive me closer, I might as well walk from here,” I said.

“In those shoes?” he asked.

“Yeah, Jean-Claude and I will be talking about the shoes, but I just want inside the club in a chair ASAP.”