Sisters by Choice (Blackberry Island #4)(97)

“You were sick and I took care of you.”

“That doesn’t make what you did okay. None of this is okay. What if you lose your job over this? What if Sophie goes to the police?”

Something flickered in her mother’s eyes. “Sophie wouldn’t do that. We’re family.”

“You keep saying that but you’re not acting like you care about her. You’re taking advantage of her.”

“Why shouldn’t I? All my life I’ve lived in this crappy house and now my own mother is throwing me out. Did you see how she’s fixing up the house to sell it? She never fixed it up when we lived here.”

“Mom, we lived here rent-free.”

“There were all kinds of bills.”

“Just the upkeep stuff. It was way cheaper than renting a place ourselves. You know that now. You’ve seen what’s out there.”

Heather found the conversation exhausting—maybe because it was the same one they’d had dozens of times before. Nothing ever changed. They were trapped in a circular argument she didn’t know how to win. Worse, she wasn’t sure anyone could win. Amber was always changing the rules.

Was it going to be like this forever? she wondered. Would she ever escape? And how many times had she asked herself that question? Maybe it was time to stop talking and start doing.

“None of this would be happening if my mother wasn’t so selfish,” Amber said. “I’ll never forgive her.”

“For what? For thinking you should take care of yourself? You’re nearly forty years old and you’ve never taken responsibility for anything.”

Her mother’s face darkened. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that.”

“Or what? What are you going to do? Slap me again?”

Heather had no end goal for the conversation, but that didn’t stop her. She was tired of hearing how everything was someone else’s fault.

“How are you going to punish me, Mom? You can’t make it on your own and you know it. All your life you’ve talked about what you would do, if only. If only you hadn’t had me, if only you’d gone to college. But every time there’s an opportunity, you find some reason why you can’t make it work. Something always goes wrong and it’s never your fault. Poor you. No more free ride on the rent, which is incredibly ironic, because you haven’t paid a dime for anything in this house for the past four years.”

“How dare you! Take that back and apologize right now.”

“No.” Heather gathered the frustration and anger and disappointment and fear and channeled it into staying strong. “You only care about yourself. I don’t know why I didn’t see that before, but it’s true. You would happily rent that expensive apartment, saddling me with a lease payment I can’t make. You want me to stay here and be just like you.”

As she spoke, her mind seemed to clear as she understood dynamics that had always eluded her before.

She stared at her mother. “You’re terrified I’ll be successful. You’re afraid that I’m going to actually make something of myself because while most parents want to be proud of their kids, you don’t want me to pass you. You’re happy to use me until there’s nothing left and then you’ll toss me away.”

“You are horrible!” her mother screamed. “You are ungrateful and spoiled and mean and you take it all back right now or I’m throwing you out.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mom. You don’t have to throw me out. I’m ready to leave on my own.”

She started for the garage. Her mother trailed after her.

“If you leave now, you’re never coming back,” Amber told her. “I mean it, Heather. You are dead to me. Do you hear me? You are dead!”

Heather collected as many empty boxes as she could carry and started for her bedroom.

“Fine,” her mother said. “Leave. I won’t miss you. Don’t think you’re going to come crawling back because you’re not. Not ever. We’re done. I’m going out now and when I get back, you’d better be gone. Anything that’s left in your room, I’m giving away. All of it. You’re an ungrateful, spoiled brat and I’m sorry you were ever born.”

Heather set the boxes on the bed and looked around. When it came right down to it, she didn’t have that much stuff. Clothes, her toiletries, a few mementos, her laptop. She was twenty years old and she was pretty sure everything important to her could fit in maybe four boxes.

Amber stood in the hall for a minute or so but when Heather didn’t say anything, she turned and walked away. Seconds later the front door slammed. Only then did Heather sink onto the bed and give in to tears.

She wasn’t sure why she was crying. Not that the situation didn’t warrant it, but she wasn’t sure which part had pushed her over the edge. Everything about their conversation had been inevitable.

If she had to guess, she would say she was crying because she couldn’t lie to herself anymore. Her mother wasn’t going to suddenly come to her senses, and Heather was pretty sure she would never be free of her. Just as sad was the realization that she wasn’t sure there had been any love between them for years now. They weren’t a family and without Amber, Heather wondered if she would always be alone.

A stupid thing to be thinking, she told herself. She should be happy to be escaping. And she would be—just not right now.