Sisters by Choice (Blackberry Island #4)(94)

Only she didn’t know if that was possible anymore. She didn’t know if he could understand that she needed more and that without the “more” to fill her soul, she wasn’t ever going to be happy. She was terrified he was going to back her into a corner and force her to choose, despite the fact that the choice had already been made.

“You could have called,” Jaxsen told her.

It took her a second to figure out what he was talking about. “You’re the one who left. You’re the one who walked out without a word. You’ve shown no interest in having a real conversation. So no, I didn’t tell you.”

He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. “I miss you.”

Not exactly an “I’m sorry” but it was a start. “I miss you, too.”

He looked around. “You really signed the lease without me.”

She nodded.

“Where’d you get the money?” He jerked his head toward the door. “From that guy? Are you sleeping with him?”

His tone was so matter-of-fact she almost missed the essence of the question.

“Am I sleeping with him? You’re asking me that? No. I am not. I haven’t seen Bruno in weeks, not since my last catering job and based on the fact that I quit, I don’t intend to see him again.”

She thought briefly of the kiss, but decided it wasn’t relevant to the conversation at hand. It had shown her she wasn’t interested in anyone else.

“I don’t want to have an affair,” she said. “I want to open this business and work hard and make it successful. I want to be married to you and raise our kids with you and be happy. That’s what I want. Not some guy.”

His mouth twisted. “So you took the money out of our line of credit without talking to me? I know you used your grandmother’s money, but for the rest of it.”

“I wouldn’t take it out of our line of credit without talking to you. That would be wrong. Yes, I used my grandmother’s inheritance and I got the rest from your mother.”

His head snapped up. “She gave you money?”

“Right after you moved out. She handed me a check and told me she wanted me to follow my dream because she never had the chance.”

She took a step toward him. “Jaxsen, I need you to understand how important this is to me. I love you and I love our life together, but it’s not enough. I’ve thought about this for a long time and I think I can make it work.”

“And if I say no?”

“Please don’t ask me that. All our marriage, I’ve gone along with everything you’ve said, even when I didn’t agree. I thought I was being a partner, but I wonder now if maybe I was teaching you the wrong way to treat me. I worry that you think you’re in charge and I’m just to do as you say.”

She looked around at the half-finished space and thought of the mixer in back and how excited she’d been to bake her first batch of cookies.

“I won’t bend on this, Jaxsen. I can’t. It will break me to walk away from the business.”

His mouth twisted. “Anything else, Kristine. Pick anything else. Please.”

“I can’t.”

“You won’t. There’s a difference.”

“Not to me.”

She waited, hoping, wishing, but it was not to be. Jaxsen shook his head, then turned and walked out without saying a word.

She watched him go. Anger and hurt twisted around her heart and squeezed. Her eyes burned. Maybe she should—

“No,” she said aloud. “No! If I give in on this, I’m always going to regret it. I’m not wrong.”

Brave words, she thought as she returned to the kitchen and washed her hands before unwrapping the butter and dumping it into the mixing bowl. Words that may have to take the place of a husband she might have just lost forever.

  Sophie sat in her car in the driveway of Dugan’s house. She wanted to go inside and talk to him, only she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Humiliation and shame immobilized her.

She’d screwed up. There were no other words to describe what had happened. She’d blown it—she’d taken a perfectly good opportunity and flushed it down the toilet.

She couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t think about anything but the screw-up. She’d waited years for the right moment and in the end, she’d carefully wrestled defeat from the jaws of victory.

Dugan’s front door opened and he stepped onto the front porch. He didn’t move any closer, nor did he say anything. Instead, he just looked at her, which had the effect of making her feel foolish. She got out and walked toward him.

“You heard?” she asked.

“Uh-huh.”

She wondered if Elliot had told him, or if he and the ever efficient Tina had an open line of communication. For all she knew, he was BFFs with Maggie. After all, Dugan had quite the secret life.

Once they were inside, she walked over to his sofa and threw herself on it, facedown.

“I blew it,” she said into the cushion. “I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I didn’t trust Maggie or the situation and I did everything I swore I wouldn’t do. It was so awful.”

She waited but Dugan didn’t say anything. She rolled onto her side and saw he’d taken the seat opposite and was watching her.