Royally Not Ready(115)

“It wasn’t,” she says. “I’d never do that to you, and you know that. You know where my loyalty lies.” When I don’t say anything, she shakes my shoulder. “Keller, you know I didn’t do this.”

“I know.” I believe her. But then I add in a seething tone, “Where is he?”

“I don’t know. Do you want me to text him?”

“Yes. Don’t tell him I’m looking for him.”

“I won’t.” She picks up her phone from her table and quickly types away. While we wait for a response, she asks, “Does Lilly know?”

“Yes, he texted it to her.”

“How did she react?”

With my hand on my forehead, I pace Lara’s small room as I say, “I don’t know, not great. I left before we could talk about it.”

“That wasn’t smart.”

I pause and say, “Tomorrow is her welcoming parade through the capital, Lara. I need to figure this shit out and see if he’s told anyone else. The last thing we need is people booing her as she’s making her way through the streets of Torskethorpe. Brimar is out to ruin this, and I need to see what he’s done so I can fix it.” I also need to know why the fuck he did this.

“Are you sure that’s what you’re doing?”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“I know you, Keller, and I know what that kind of text does to your head.”

Yeah, it does all sorts of fucked-up things. The gnawing brunt of that text message, the words behind it, the history behind it . . . it’s a knife to the chest.

“It’s not fucking true,” I shout. “I never wanted the throne, ever. It’s why I’ve struggled with being with Lilly. Because I know my goddamn place in this world, and it’s not with a goddamn crown on my head.”

“I know,” Lara says, placing her hand on my shoulder. “I know that’s not who you are.”

“Then why would he write that?” My shoulders sag as this overwhelming sense of pain circulates through me. “I thought we were friends . . . brothers.”

“You are,” Lara says as I start shaking my head.

“No, a friend wouldn’t do this. A friend wouldn’t purposefully use the insecurities I’m feeling and punch me in the face with them. This was intentional, and there was a reason behind it, but I just don’t understand why.”

Lara’s phone dings and she looks at the screen.

When her eyes meet mine, she doesn’t say anything.

“What? Where is he?”

“This isn’t a good idea, Keller. Wait until tomorrow.”

“Where the fuck is he, Lara?” I seethe.

Her face droops in defeat as she says, “The Crowned Cod.”

The pub.

I turn on my heel and head for the door, but Lara stops me. “Keller, you’re angry and hurt. Going there to confront him isn’t going to do any good. You’re only going to damage an already fragile situation.”

“This needs to be dealt with.”

“Just wait until the morning. Please, Keller, I’m begging you.”

I yank my arm from her grasp, and without another word, I head out her door and down the hall.





LILLY





Arms clutched around my legs, bringing them tight to my chest, I lightly rock back and forth on my bed, the sun peeking through the curtains, barely shining light on the enormously empty room.

Thanks to the ever-present sun, I have no idea what time it is.

I have no idea how long I’ve been sitting here, hoping and praying Keller comes back.

And I have no idea how many times I’ve read that text message, trying to find every little piece of information I can. Seeking out any clue or play on words, anything to help me better understand.

Theo and Katla adopted Keller? Why didn’t he say anything? He’s spoken so highly of them, but in a king and queen capacity, never as parental units. I just assumed he liked them as people, not as someone who has been there for him as a mother, as a father. Why did he hide that from me?

And the whole wanting to be king thing . . . Well, from the demons he’s been battling since we got together, even before we got together, I know that’s not what he wants. He’s told me many times—he knows his place, and it’s not with a crown on his head. But he’s made exceptions for me, so why has he kept it a secret?

There’s a knock at the door, and my head turns just as the door eases open, my heart hammering in my chest, willing it to be Keller.

But instead, it’s Lara.

“May I come in?” she asks.

“Of course,” I answer, grateful I’m wearing the pajama set Runa laid out for me. Maybe in some cosmic way, she knew tonight was going to happen, and I’d require clothes.

Lara slips into the room and shuts the door behind her before walking up to my bed and taking a seat. “How are you doing?”

“Not great,” I answer. “I’m assuming since you’re here, Keller told you what’s going on. Unless you got the text as well.”

“I didn’t get the text. But Keller did come to my room.”

I pause, the night rolling through my head. “Wait . . . did you send that text?”