Rising (Blue Phoenix, #4)(80)

“I don’t think he would”

“You definitely don’t know him then. Thanks for the info.” Bryn hangs up and I stare at my phone.

Should I check on Jem? I can’t switch off my feelings the way he did to me, and Bryn’s woken the worry I have that Jem could relapse. I drag my fingers through my hair. I’m pulled in two directions. If I go to him and he refuses to see me or talk to me, the glass beneath my skin will cut deeper. If I leave this alone, and the man who was the world to me for those short months disappears back into addiction, I’ll hate myself.

No, he has others who can help. I make things worse.



****



Jem



Dylan.

Wow, I’m honoured.

He shoves his way into the house and stands in my lounge, casting his gaze around the room. The place is covered in all kinds of crap; fast food boxes, empty cups, and glasses but not what I know he’s looking for.

“Wanna sweep the house too? Should’ve just brought a sniffer dog,” I snarl.

Dylan crosses his arms. “You look like shit, Jem.”

“Nice.”

“Where’s Ruby?”

“Gone and if you’re here you know that.” I flop onto the sofa and rest my head on the cool leather. “I’m tired, man. Could’ve called before you landed on my doorstep.”

“What happened with her?”

I shrug. “Got too hard.”

“Bullshit, Jem. I saw you guys together and you were good.”

I regard him with tired eyes. He’s tanned, curls returning as his hair reaches past his ears again. Yeah, he’s looking more like the old Dylan; but his new life with Sky means he never will be.

“How’s things in your love life?” I put my bare feet on the low coffee table.

“Why the snide tone, Jem?”

“The love-struck thing you have going on. Doesn’t suit you.”

“Why? Because you want me to be unhappy like you? Throw away the right girl because of my past f-uck-ups?”

“Just saying.”

Dylan pushes a pizza box out of the way and sits on the armchair. Resting his elbows on his knees, he fixes me with a look I recognise. “Tell me what’s happening. You just threw away something good. I thought you’d dropped the self-destruct act.”

“I’m not on self-destruct! See any drugs? Booze? No. I’m good.”

He sinks back and makes an exasperated sound. “Give me your phone.”

“No!”

“Just f-ucking do it. I want to show you something.”

“What?”

Dylan holds his hand out and beckons with his fingers. Huffing, I slam it into his hand. “Don’t read my messages.”

“Not gonna.” He swipes a finger across the screen. “Looking at your photos.”

“They’re not that interesting. Been a while since I had pictures of naked chicks on there.”

Dylan laughs. “I’m only interested in one naked chick these days. So are you.” He turns the phone to show a picture of me and Ruby on the screen, my arm around her shoulders close-up on our faces. Relaxed. Happy.

“Yeah? There’s a picture of us.”

“A few pictures, Jem.” He keeps scrolling. “Look at yourself in these pictures and see how the outside world saw you and Ruby; how good you were for each other. You were f-ucking happy, Jem. I hadn’t seen you so alive for years.” He tosses the phone and it lands on my lap. “So, I’m asking again, what the f-uck happened?”

I scroll through my phone absent-mindedly looking through the pictures I couldn’t bring myself to delete because that’d be the final removal of Ruby from my life. Dylan’s here, I should’ve called him weeks ago. I had a chance to talk to him about this in Germany, but I’m unsure he understands anymore. I lost him like I lost everybody else; pushing and pushing until I became such a pain in the ass that he gave up on me. I swallow hard and look to the concern in his eyes. If there’s one person in the world I can share this shit with, it’s Dylan.

“This happened.” I click over to my messages and throw the phone back. Dylan’s brows tug together as he reads.

“Marie? What the hell, Jem. Why screw around?”

“You too? People have such a high opinion of my morals,” I say sarcastically.

“So who’s this?” I cross my arms and wait for the penny to drop. His eyes widen. “Is this… Jem, is this your mum?”

I clap my hands slowly as Dylan carefully puts the phone on the coffee table. “Good guess.”

“You seen her?” he says in a low voice.

“Yeah, but won’t be seeing her again anytime soon.”

Dylan rubs his forehead, the concern softening the frustrated anger he had a few minutes ago. “Whoa. No wonder your head’s f*cked. Does Ruby know?”

“No. Why would she?”

“Because when you’re in a relationship you kinda discuss this shit!”

“We’re not in a relationship anymore.”

“Because of this?”

“No. Leave it. You have your answer.” I stand. I can’t discuss Ruby as well as my mum; this is too f-ucking much.

“A clusterf*ck like this, Jem? Why the hell didn’t you call me before?”