Rising (Blue Phoenix, #4)(27)

“I’m f*cked, Ruby,” he says hoarsely. “Totally f*cked.”

“No, you’re not. You’re here and sober, not wasted and on your own somewhere.”

“The dreams…” He says through gritted teeth. “They don’t f-ucking stop!”

“What dreams? Is that why you’re awake now?”

“Just dreams, Ruby. Just dreams.” He shakes his hair away again and leans down to retrieve his boots. I want to push him, ask more, and help the guy because he helped me.

“Jem, if you…” I’m interrupted by a sharp ringtone, the sound shocking me in the quiet of the house. “Bryn.” I say as I look at the caller ID.

Jem holds his hand out and I throw the phone across the small space. His gruff responses to Bryn are accompanied by shifty-eyed looks to me. Unsure what to do, I stand and watch.

Jem holds the phone away from his face. “Bryn has keys. You can go. I’ll wait here for him.”

“You sure?”

“Go back to bed, Ruby.” His dismissive attitude pains me as much as the panic of the last few minutes.

The more time I spend around Jem Jones, the more aware I am that he’s a lot more complicated than the image he presents to the world.





Chapter Fourteen



Jem



The club Ruby Riot plays in tonight is a smaller venue in Camden, another I recognise from years ago. Bryn’s in town claiming he wants to see how the band is doing; check up on me, more like. This evening, Ruby left the house as soon as Bryn arrived, jumped into the waiting van the guys use when they gig, and they drove away. I arrive with Bryn an hour before they’re due on stage to find Jax and Ruby huddled together, running through the set list as they usually do. Their relationship bothers me, especially now Dan isn’t around. Whether they’re a couple or not isn’t the only thing that bothers me; it’s the fact she’s comfortable with him. Ruby’s not comfortable with me.

I’m not surprised following what she witnessed a couple of nights ago. My stomach turns over when I think about Ruby seeing me like that; but in a weird way, it equalizes us, vulnerabilities shown on both sides. Considering her history, Ruby should’ve run as far as she could from an irrational man throwing things around the house, but there was no fear in her eyes, just concern and understanding.

The incident hasn’t been mentioned since and we both behave as if it never happened.

Bryn pushes through the bar and we head toward the main hall of the old theatre. “You still haven’t explained why Ruby was there the other night. What’s going on?”

“Ruby’s living with me.”

He halts. “Define ‘living with you’, Jem. I thought we’d agreed you avoid relationships for a few months?”

“We’re living in the same house. Sharing a kitchen but not a bed. Platonic.”

Bryn chokes back a laugh. “Right. For how long?”

“I don’t intend f-ucking her anytime soon.”

Bryn arches an eyebrow. “I meant how long is she staying. Your response suggests you’re thinking a little too much about the non-platonic part.”

“Shut the f-uck up,” I mutter. Am I that transparent?

“She’s not bringing anything into the house that can screw around with you, is she?”

“Ruby knows not to.” Bryn’s lips purse and he keeps walking. “Her ex beat the crap out of her, okay?”

“That’s even worse!” says Bryn, turning back to me. “Liv, much?”

This edges my thoughts every day, but I don’t acknowledge it. “Not ‘Liv, much’. So piss off if you haven’t got anything useful to say.”

Ruby sits on the edge of the stage drinking water between growling at the brothers. The more stressed Ruby is, the snappier she is, as I’m beginning to learn.

I can guess why.

“If Dan comes, I’ll sort it,” I tell her as I approach.

Ruby slowly screws the lid onto the bottle. “Don’t care if he does.”

“I do.” Ruby frowns at me. “I saw him threaten you when you were together; what the hell do you think he’ll be like now you’ve left him?”

“Now?” Ruby hops off the wooden stage. “I’ll tell you what Dan will be like now. He’ll be like you.”

Too stunned to reply I step back. Ruby leans closer, face impassive. “He’ll be super nice. Apologetic. He’ll offer to help me but say he doesn’t want anything in return. Like you.”

“Are you comparing me to Dan?” I ask in a low voice.

“No, I’m saying I trust people too easily. I trust you when I shouldn’t,” she replies as quietly.

“I never asked you to. All I did was give you somewhere to stay. Feel free to leave when you want.” Infuriated that she’s comparing me to Dan on the smallest level, I turn and walk away.

Ruby doesn’t realise, but I know exactly what she’s doing because it’s a favourite trick of mine. Piss them off, push them away, and they won’t disappoint you.

Tonight is Ruby Riot’s first performance since Ruby left Dan, and there’s a new energy around her on stage. The connection between Ruby and the rest of the band is sharper. At past gigs, she was lost in her own world, part of the group but at the forefront and alone. On a couple of occasions tonight, Ruby even cracks a smile at the other band members. She and Jax joke around, Ruby interrupting his playing with hers and he sings over her in return.