Rising (Blue Phoenix, #4)(22)

I turn on the shower, step inside, and wash the rest of Dan off my body. Forever.



****



The coffee machine splutters as I attempt to figure out how to use it and as I wipe up the mess with a kitchen towel, Jem appears. He pulls a t-shirt over his head as he walks into the room and the cotton slides down his hard abs, over the jeans sitting loose on his hips. I ignore my body’s reaction, telling myself the attraction is because he was kind to me last night. His brown eyes are reddened, betraying his tiredness at his early hours visitor. Amusing, I spent the night with Jem Jones but not in the way my suppressed fantasies ever imagined. I’m vulnerable in just Jem’s t-shirt. I wish it covered more of me, or that I hadn’t left my wet clothes screwed up on Jem’s bathroom floor last night.

“How’re you feeling?” He pulls his thick brown curls into a ponytail and snaps a band around them.

“Do you want a coffee? I made a mess so may as well make it worthwhile.” I pull another cup from the cupboard, fielding his question.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Silently, I prepare the drinks with shaking hands. Jem passes me the milk from the fridge, as if this is a normal morning, two people living together and following their routine. When I pass Jem the cup, his fingers linger on mine long enough to indicate comfort. I pull my hand away. “Thanks for letting me stay. I’ll call Jax later, see if I can use his couch until next week.”

“Stay here if you feel safer,” he says quietly, brows tugged. “You need to go to the police.”

I touch my swollen lip. “No.”

Jem’s face hardens. “Why?”

“Leave it.” I sip my coffee. “At least there’re no issues with Dan stopping me touring now.”

Jem slides onto a black stool next to the counter and rests his elbows on the edge. “I care about more than whether you can tour, somebody attacked you.”

“Don’t bother. Are we meeting the guys to firm up the tour later?”

“You turn up at my house in the middle of the night after being assaulted by someone and tell me not to bother?” presses Jem.

He’s not going there, his involvement stops now. “Looks like it. I’ll go if you want; my car’s outside.”

“You don’t want my help?” He’s unable to disguise his incredulous look.

“No. I can deal with this.” A memory of last night seeps in and my heart rate spikes. Can I?

The silence re-joins us and I debate whether to leave him and find my car keys. “Why did you come here?” he asks eventually.

“I don’t know. After… it happened, my head was a mess. I got in the car and drove and somehow ended up here.”

“Because it’s me. Because you know you can trust me.”

“No, because Dan would go to the guys’ house to look for me. You think I’ll trust you because you helped me when I needed it? Newsflash: I trusted the last guy who helped me and last night he tried to rape me.”

Jem’s face reddens and he sweeps a gaze over me. “He did what? f-ucking hell, Ruby, you should be on the phone to the police!”

“He didn’t and he won’t get the chance again.” I finish the drink, forcing the hot coffee down so I can get out of the room. “Maybe it’s a good thing Dan did this.”

Jem’s mouth parts. “You’re f*cked up! It’s a good thing a guy tried to rape you?”

“Yes! He finally stepped over the line far enough that I have the strength to walk away.”

Coffee sloshes from the cup as Jem crashes it onto the counter and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him. I stand in the kitchen, and let go of the control I’ve held onto by my fingernails. Just a few words to Jem about what Dan did unlocks everything, the fear shaking through my exhausted body. Tears spill and I bite hard on my injured lip, the familiar metallic taste of blood on my tongue intensifies the memory.

“If you f-ucking think…” Jem reappears through the door then halts as he catches sight of me.

I spin around to face the sink before he sees any more and rub my face on the shoulder of the t-shirt.

Jem mutters expletives under his breath and I wrap my arms around myself, holding in the need to keep crying, willing him to leave.

I’m unsure whether Jem has gone, until he speaks again. “I understand you don’t want another guy trying to control your next move, but stay here. Do your own thing until you get your head together; I’ll leave you alone.” There’s a clatter as keys hit a table. “I’ll give you the alarm code.”

Jem’s behind me, I don’t need to turn, hairs on my neck standing up at the awareness of his presence. He’s close enough to touch and I tense, but another part wants to sink back, allow Jem to hold me and tell me things will be okay. The stupid, trusting part that f*cks my life up.

“I’ll back off; but if you go back to Dan, I’m cutting my ties with Ruby Riot,” he says quietly.

I hold my breath until the door closes again. Smart guy. Jem knows he can’t push me into anything, so he goes for my Achilles heel. The one thing that’s kept me going for the last year, the dream I’ve kept alive in the midst of the nightmare: success for the band.

If I f*cked that up, I don’t know where I’d go, or what I’d do.