Rising (Blue Phoenix, #4)(19)

He stands. “Didn’t want me to know more like!”

“I’m sorry; I didn’t think you’d mind.” I pick up my jeans but Dan grabs them and throws them on the floor between us.

“Rehearsal? Is that where you were the other times I came back and you weren’t here?”

The room lurches. Not only tonight. How many times? “Other times?”

“Yeah. Twice last week and this is the second time this week.”

I tuck my trembling hands beneath my arms. “I didn’t know… Weren’t you working?” My meek voice betrays the fear I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of causing.

“It’s that blonde f*cker isn’t it?” he growls. “You’re screwing him.”

As he moves toward me, I edge back, glancing at the open door and running through my options. Where are my shoes? Car keys? “No! We’ve been rehearsing! I promise!”

Dan kicks the bedroom door shut and seizes my arms, slamming me against it. “You dirty, f-ucking whore. Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

I wince at the force of my back against the wood, at the fingers digging into the bruises I examined ten minutes ago. “I promise. It was rehearsals. You said you didn’t want me being with the band so I didn’t want to tell you. I’m sorry; I should’ve said.”

Dan snorts and holds his face close to mine, his hot breath fast against my ear. “Do you expect me to believe that? You’d rather risk me finding out and thinking you were f-ucking someone else?”

The smell of beer explains where he went after he came home and discovered I wasn’t here. “No! I promise!”

Pain sears my cheek as Dan backhands my face. “Is that why you were showering? Trying to clean away your behaviour?” He seizes my throat with both hands. “I hope he was f-ucking worth it.”

I’m violently pulled forward by the neck, pushed, falling on the floor. My hand slaps on the bare tiles as I try to break the fall, t-shirt riding up, exposing my belly. “Why would he want you? Look at you! You’re nothing like a real woman. You’ve got no tits or ass; why anyone else would want to f-uck you, I don’t know.” He kneels and grabs a fist full of my hair, yanking until my eyes water. “No wonder I need to go elsewhere.”

“What?” I dig my fingers into his hand, attempting to disentangle them.

“I f-uck other women, Ruby, because you’re no good.” His voice is soft, teasing, and a tear threatens to leak from my watering eyes. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t argue.

“No, you don’t. Tell me you don’t.”

“You f-ucking hypocrite!”

The strength of his next slap sends me reeling back, head hitting the polished tiles, the pain jarring my teeth. I close my eyes and cover my head, curling into the stars. This is my place, where I can go and nobody can hurt me. If I focus on the stars, I won’t feel anything until he stops. His words fall around me, as the pain of his assault continues. Words I can barely hear through my ringing ears are pounded into me, reinforcing his programming that I’m worthless without him.

But I can’t reach the stars this time, my mind won’t let go. This is different. He’s harsher and he’s never accused me of having sex with another guy before.

And he screwed other women.

“What do you think about that?” I catch the end of his rant and blink away tears, head pounding.

I can’t find any words. Please. Stars. Come soon. A pain rips through my chest and my first thought is don’t hurt me enough to need the doctor. He’s broken ribs before, but this time he didn’t kick hard enough. The pain is still sickening, worsened by him yanking me to my feet and smacking me back against the wall. My head hits the plaster. Stars. Finally. I attempt to slump to the floor but he holds me in place by the chest with one broad hand.

Through the dizzying dark of pain, the jangle of his belt buckle crashes me back to reality.

His zip.

No.

“I f-uck you, Ruby. Nobody else.”

“Dan!” I struggle against him and he shifts his hand back to my neck, pressing his bulk against me. “Don’t do that! This is what you stopped from happening! This is what you protected me from!”

“And look at how you rewarded me. By f-ucking another guy.”

“I didn’t. I promise!” No tears. No tears.

The scrape of his fingernails across my hips and the fingers yanking at my panties pulls me further from the stars. This would break me. This would be the end of Ruby; I have to fight for her.

“No!”

Struggling with his grip, I twist from side to side and he battles to hold me still. I won’t be her, I refuse to be the girl he claimed he was saving me from becoming. I slam my head against his mouth, the impact on my forehead barely felt through the numbness.

“f-ucking bitch!” He staggers backward and steadies himself on the end of the bed frame, hand at his mouth.

Grabbing my jeans from the floor, I pull at the door handle with my sweating palms. Out. Get out. My bag is by the front door, if I get there first…

I’m slammed to the floor, landing face first as he tackles me from behind.

“Let me go!” I scream, immobile under his bulk and I’m rewarded by a punch to the head.

“You f-ucking whore!”