Reign of Brayshaw (Brayshaw High #3)(80)

He feels guilty, like this is all his fault.

“Royce,” Cap says slowly, almost unsure. “Help me out?”

“I can help you,” I rush out, the slight croak in my voice giving away the panic flaring in my gut.

My eyes land on Maddoc’s back, and sure as shit, his head falls, his hands coming up to cross behind his neck.

Royce grabs the shit from Captain’s bag before making his way to me.

He drops in front of me on the bed, his eyes tight, lips pinched flat. “I’m so mad at you, RaeRae,” he whispers, shaking his head. “I should have been with you for all that shit. Not Bass fucking Bishop. Me. Someone who loves you, someone who could have held you, helped you, fuck I don’t know...” His voice trails off. “Something.”

I lean forward gently touching my forehead to his, ignoring the sting from the bruising there. “You did,” I whisper, and his eyes lift to mine, our foreheads still touching. “If it wasn’t you who walked in the bathroom when I was talking to Maybell, I would have broke. Nobody would have done in that moment but you. You didn’t push me, didn’t ask me any questions, you were just there, which is exactly what I needed.”

He swallows. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” I nod against him.

“Am I gonna hurt you if I hug you right now?”

A laugh spits from me and I shake my head no even though, yeah, it probably will.

He knows that, too, so he’s gentle in his hold. Before he pulls away, he whispers in my ear, “Talk to him, baby girl. If he didn’t when he left, he sure as fuck did after that conversation.”

I grip him tighter, not wanting to let him go, but his fingers glide to mine inconspicuously and he pries them open, holding my eyes as he steps back and stands, only breaking contact when he spins to Captain.

Captain, who’s looking right at me. He gives me an encouraging smile, but guilt fogs his features just the same.

I give a slow shake of my head, and the corner of his mouth tips the slightest bit.

“Come on, Cap.” Royce lays a hand on his shoulder. “Maybe I can get that nurse of yours to give your sponge bath to me instead.”

“She’s like fifty,” Cap says.

“Cougars love me.”

With a small laugh, the two of them walk out, leaving Maddoc and me alone for the first time in weeks.





The door closes with an easy click, but it rebounds off my ears like a hard hit to tin.

I have never wanted my brothers to get lost so bad in my life. Problem is, I never wanted them to keep their feet planted right where they were so fucking bad either, now here we are, alone.

My baby and me.

Only she’s not mine anymore, or at least that’s what we have to pretend, even now when it’s nothing but the air in her lungs filling mine.

Her mom held a gun to her head, loaded and cocked back, ready to shoot her. I could have lost her for real. Completely.

Knowing this makes me realize, even if I have to stand back, watch her fall in love with my brother like she loves me, I will. Happily, if it means she’s still here, still in sight where I can protect her.

Captain may be strong but there is no doubt in my fucking mind, nobody can protect her like me. Nobody.

I stay, I can steal what should be mine – her touch. I can brush her hand with my fingers when I walk by, claim it was an accident or grab her arm to get her attention. Anything to feel the heat of her skin on mine, if even for only a second and as innocent as that.

Only it won’t be innocent.

Every time I’ll wish her stormy eyes would move to mine with purpose, need. Want.

She killed her mom.

She banished Perkins.

She burned the Graven Estate to the ground.

She found out her only friend had – has – more secrets than we do.

She found out who raped her when she was younger – my own fucking blood.

Family runs deeper than blood.

Just when she probably felt things were coming together, Leo and Vienna come out of the woodwork, ready to tear her apart, hand her over like a dirty prize.

I did this.

All of it.

I jerk when her hand touches my shoulder blade, every muscle in my body tensing, but only for a moment, because in the next, her other one meets my bicep. Her little fingers wrapping around it the best they can, and it’s over.

My knees give, and I slam against the floor, welcoming the sting that shoots up my thighs. My head falls to my chest, my fists to the floor.

Her sharp, shattered inhale has the cords in my neck tightening, and I hate myself a little more.

After a few seconds, her sock covered feet come into view, followed by her knees as she plants herself right in front of me. She sits back on her feet, and when her hand lifts, I squeeze my eyes shut.

Her soft fingers shake against my cheek and I hold my breath, swallowing the little air I have in me. Heat covers my cold face as her palms meet my jaw, her hand spanning out until the tips of her pointer fingers are positioned behind my ears, the others caging in my neck.

She lifts my head, the soft shuffle letting me know she’s scooting closer.

It takes her a minute, but then she speaks. “Open your eyes, Big Man.”

Her breath wafts over my face, and I flatten my lips to keep the feel of her off me.

Fuck.

“B—” she cuts herself off, and her shuddered inhale matches mine. “Maddoc, please,” she whispers. “Open.”