Reign of Brayshaw (Brayshaw High #3)(85)

Pleading without words.

“Stop, Raven,” I rasp, pushing myself into a sitting position, taking a second to shake off the dizziness that follows.

“Stop what?”

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

I shake my head, looking everywhere but at her. “You know like what,” I whisper. “I’m not strong enough to say no to you.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to be.”

“That’s not fair.”

“None of this is fucking fair!” She shoots to a sitting position.

“You don’t have to do this,” I mumble. “I already lost, but—”

“Lost?” Angry, her eyes slice to mine as she speaks through clenched teeth. “What did you lose here, huh?” she spits, shoving at me angrily. “You not only cut me at the fucking ankles, you left me there to bleed, too,” she rumbles. “You gave me an ultimatum that I didn’t even have to think on. Choose him, save your family – the only family I have ever known – fucking done, Maddoc!” she shouts. “It’s not my fault you pussed out and ran off like a little bitch at the first fucking sting!”

“First sting?” I gape at her. “Are you for real right now?” I push even closer. “You think standing there, asking you to be with my brother, that giving you away when all I’ve said was I’d never, that you were mine no matter what, didn’t fucking burn me, Raven? Because it did. I’d have welcomed a knife to the fucking side over that, over any of this, any day, all fucking day.”

“Yeah well, my mother got one in hers instead!” she shouts, dropping her arms to her side and looking off. She pulls her lips between her teeth a moment before her head snaps my way.

“I legitimately think I’m dying inside, Maddoc, and it’s like every second of every day I grow closer to emptiness. I look at him and guilt consumes me. I think of you and pain sends me fucking reeling. I look in the mirror and pure hatred stares back. I’m weak, I’m tired, I’m—”

“Pregnant,” I cut her off with a sharp tone. I snap my head toward her, and she frowns. “You. Are. Pregnant.”

“I didn’t do this on purpose.” Her brows meet at the center. “You think I know what to do with a kid, because I don’t. Or that I wanted one, because that would be a no, too. I’ve never even held a baby before. This was an accident,” she grates. “I wasn’t even supposed to be able to—”

A laugh bubbles out of me, but there isn’t an ounce of humor in it. I jump to my feet, ignoring the pounding of my head.

“Is this supposed to make it better, Raven? The story of how you accidentally got pregnant, and it wasn’t part of the fucking newlywed plan?” I shake my head, glaring at her. “You two must have been real fucking busy if I fucked you, for months, skin to fucking skin, over and over again, and you didn’t have so much as a damn scare, and here you are, married to him for what? A few days before he was in a coma and boom, baby fucking Captain is on the way?”

Her head jerks back.

“Or maybe you were on birth control when we were together, and stopped once you were a married fucking female, yeah?”

Her eyes fall to the grass, and slowly she pushes to her feet. When they come back to mine, she blinks several times as she backs away. “Maddoc...” she whispers all staggered like, shaking her head slowly. “Wow.”

Her shoulders fall, and she looks away. Her lips start to tremble, but then as if she’s resigned herself to her thoughts, she stands taller, wipes her hands down her sweats and steps around me, only to freeze once she’s at my back.

“You’ve got it all figured out, huh, Big Man.”

“Sorry you couldn’t hide it from me like your mother hid you from the brothers she destroyed. Like mother like daughter, huh?”

Her chocked laugh serves as a bullet to the heart. “Wow.”

Neither of us turn around, and not a word’s spoken after that.

She walks away, a car door opening and closing as soon as her footsteps stop.

The front door creaks, and my eyes move toward the porch.

Bass steps out, glaring at me as he passes, and not a minute later, the car peels out.

Right as my head hangs, another set of feet slide into view.

“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that.”

My head snaps up, eyes wide when I find Captain standing there, a hard glare etched across his face.

“Open your eyes, Maddoc.”

“My eyes are open, Cap.” I throw my hands out. “I’m accepting what is.”

“By forgetting who we are,” he growls.

“What does that even mean, brother?”

“If you have to ask, maybe this is for the best.” He steps toward me, Royce at his back. “I asked you to trust me. You said you did.”

“Guess I didn’t think you’d be so ready and willing, not to mention quick, but maybe I was blind, brother. Maybe I saw this coming all along. This why you wouldn’t kiss her at the cabin? Afraid you couldn’t let go once you had a taste?”

His right hook slams across my face, and my head snaps to the side, blood flying from my lip, but I don’t even wince.

I know that hurt him more than me, he wasn’t even supposed to leave the hospital yet.