Reign of Brayshaw (Brayshaw High #3)(79)

My brows pull in, and I squint to her.

She studies me and slowly her head pulls back. “Raven, tell me you’re gonna...”

“Gonna what?”

“End this.”

My head jerks back. “End what?” Right as I say it, a bitter laugh leaves me, and I stand. “Victoria, don’t,” I warn.

“You don’t.” She stands with me, facing me from the other side of the bed. “This changes everything.”

“It changes nothing!” I shout instantly.

She jolts back. “You don’t have to do this, Raven.”

“I already did.”

“But—”

“But nothing! I married him, Vee. I married Captain.”

“Oh, come on, Raven,” she hisses, stepping around the bed. “You don’t give a shit about marriage!” She throws her hand out. “Don’t stand there and pretend you do.”

“You’re right!” I snap back, getting in her face. “I don’t give a fuck about the word. That’s all it is to me, a fucking word. I have no idea what it means, no clue what I’m suddenly supposed to be with the title of wife, it’s not like I had a role model.” I push even closer to her, my chest bumping hers, my jaw muscles clenching. “So, you’re right, Vee, I don’t give a shit about marriage, but I give a shit ton about him.”

“I’m not questioning how much you care about him.”

“He gave up his future for mine, then almost gave his life, for mine,” I snap. “Did we find out things I wish we’d have learned of earlier? No fucking duh, but we didn’t, and I made him a promise. I’m keeping it.” I step back, keeping my eyes on hers. “This is where we are. Period.”

Her eyes soften. “You made a choice when the alternative was something you couldn’t live with, he did the same thing. He’d understand.”

I swallow, shouldering past her, but she grips my elbow, spinning me back around.

I yank free from her hand, pushing her as hard as I can in the chest.

She flies back, slamming against the bed tray and knocking all the shit on it to the floor.

The loud crash has one of the boys yanking on the locked door handle.

The banging follows, shouts from all of them after that.

I glare. “Are you saying this just so you can have him?”

“I’m saying it because it’s the truth and you know it.” She glares back.

I get in her face, fighting to hold back the moisture burning behind my eyelids. “What am I supposed to say to him,” I hiss. “Hm? How do I tell him I want out?” I force past clenched teeth, my entire body shaking. “That I need out. That I never should have fucking agreed to this, ever. That we were all wrong and we should have fought from the beginning? That I can’t be his wife because I will never be his and I don’t want to be?”

She swallows, but her eyes only sharpen more and she pushes off her elbows, standing before me, my hands shooting out to grip her wrist when she lifts it.

Her palm opens, letting me know she wasn’t trying for anything.

“You tell him just like that, Raven,” she says strongly. “Word for fucking word. He needs you to say it.”

He needs words...

My jaw starts to tremble, so I clamp it shut to stop it.

Keys clank in the hall, and the door flies open, too many footsteps to count shuffling in, each one halting at the entrance.

“You can do this,” she whispers, eyes firm.

“What if I told you I was afraid?” I force out in a shaky whisper.

She licks her lips, her eyes moving over my shoulder. “I’d say you’re human after all.”

Mine tighten with my grip before I shove her away.

“Bass,” I rasp, knowing he’s in here without looking.

One set of footsteps grow closer.

“Victoria could use a walk, see her out?”

Her eyes slide between mine, unsure.

Bass takes a step closer, but Victoria’s head snaps his way. “Touch me and I’ll crush your nuts,” she snaps, she shoulders past me, not looking back as she steps out.

I stand there facing the wall opposite of them as long as they allow, only turning around when my name is called.

With each pair of eyes met, heaviness falls on my shoulders to the point I have to sit.

I look to Captain, who stands there in his gown, eyes slowly shifting from the floor to me, but then I notice the pressure with which he’s gripping the rolling IV machine and motion for his bed.

A frown hits his brows and he stands taller as if he has to prove his strength.

He doesn’t.

“Sit down, Captain. You’ve been standing a long time.”

“I’m good,” he assures me, then looks me over. “I could use some of my own fucking clothes, too, though.”

I nod. “Maybell brought something for all of us,” I pause. “Or for us three...” My eyes fly to Maddoc’s, and the move alone almost crushes me on the spot.

His hands open and close at his sides, and he can’t keep eye contact. His deep, sharp inhales and exhales causing a sting in my own chest.

“Because I wasn’t here,” he growls at himself, his head falling back. He takes a quick glance at me down his nose but then squeezes his eyes shut and spins around where he stands. I stare at the back of him as his hand comes up to cover his mouth.