Reign of Brayshaw (Brayshaw High #3)(76)

“Are you okay?” he whispers.

“Stop asking me that, Cap. I’m always good,” I rasp. “This isn’t new to me, the trouble. This is what my life has always been, one problem after another. It’s different, but not new.”

“That’s a shitty way to live, Raven.”

I nod. “Yeah, but I’m alive, right?” My chest tightens. “Captain, so many people have been hurt because of me. All I had to do was be born, keep breathing and it ruined so many people’s lives.”

“You were important, worth the risk even if they didn’t know you.”

“And that’s some bullshit, no?” I pick at the blanket covering us. “Brayshaw demands loyalty, earns trust and respect, yet I was a fucked-up kid, being a dick and running around the streets getting high, putting myself in danger I never even balked at, while these people who require so much from others, gave so much for a girl who didn’t know they existed. A girl who wouldn’t have fucking cared if she did.”

“You were Brayshaw.”

I shake my head, squeezing my eyes closed. “Raven... interesting name, isn’t it? Only one letter short...”

Cap tenses beside me, his fingers finding my chin after a few seconds. He brings my eyes to his. “Raven?” he broaches, eyes tight.

“That’s what my mother said to me before she died. One letter short.” I swallow. “How could I be so blind? How could we not have put it together?”

“Raven...”

“Graven.” My nostrils flare as I fight to keep control I don’t possess. “She named me after them. She hated me, Cap.”

“No—”

I lift my hand, giving a small smile. “No, don’t. Don’t say things you don’t know. She honest to God, if there is one, did. Why would she run away, leave them, and then name me after them?”

He stares at me, not quite following.

“She wouldn’t, Cap. There is no fucking way she ran.”

“We’ll find out,” he promises. “But we need to get out of here. They’ll let me leave soon, couple more days at the latest.”

“You’re still on an IV.”

“It’s a precaution, fluids and in case they need to run some antibiotics or something.”

“So you’re better?”

“I’m good. Sore, little weak still, but good,” he stresses. “Raven, I need you to stay out of trouble, stay here, at least that long. Let me help you with all this.”

“Me too.”

I jolt up when his voice slams into me like a fucking brick to the chest.

My eyes hit his and I can’t keep it in. My lip starts to tremble, so bad I don’t realize my nails are digging into my leg, until Captain tugs them free.

I run my tongue across my teeth, wishing to come off stronger.

Maddoc walks in, fighting for a blank stare, but he can’t manage it.

His entire face morphs, unconcealed agony and regret right at the surface for both of us to witness.

Tears tremble at the edge of my eyes as he takes in our position.

Before, this wouldn’t be an issue. He wouldn’t even blink, he’d appreciate one of his own comforting me and vice versa.

But before, I wasn’t married to the man beneath me, holding onto me... and I gave up the one staring in my eyes in doing it.

I swear the corner of his eyes grow red, glossy.

He wants to so bad, but he can’t look away.

He stares, his mind convincing him he’s staring at a girl loving on her new husband who she almost lost.

Come on, Big Man... as if I could replace you so quick. Ever.

Cap senses it, the pull between his brother and me. The magnet calling me to him, but I’m frozen. Captain tries to gently nudge me off, but I lock my muscles, begging, so his hand relaxes against me, his grip growing firmer, his way of supporting me in this moment.

Maddoc finally moves his eyes to his brother, and his shoulders fall. “Cap...”

“I’m sorry,” Captain says.

Maddoc glares. “Don’t.”

“I’m sorry, Maddoc. I...” Captain’s eyes shift to me, but I still can’t tear my eyes from the dark-haired, green-eyed, guy in front of me.

My heart is breaking for real. I thought it hurt when he left, yeah right.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear my chest was being cut open right here and now.

Maddoc doesn’t say anything but torturously slow, slides his eyes back to mine.

“Hey,” he whispers and it’s no use from there.

Warm, wet, tears roll down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop them if I tried.

“Hey...”

His nostrils flare, his jaw flexing and he spins around, giving us his back as he drops his chin to his chest, clearing his throat. “I’ll get the nurse.”

And he’s gone again.

My face falls in my hands and I shake my head.

“I’m sorry, Cap.” I quickly pull myself from his grip, and he tries to snatch me back, but I dash to the side, and he can’t reach farther. He’s still stuck to his machines. I force my eyes to his.

“Do not apologize to me again.” He glares. “This isn’t easy, Raven, and you’re human, even if you act like Wonder Woman.”