Pieces of Us (Confessions of the Heart, #3)(34)

“This isn’t Faith’s fault—”

“You’re right, it’s not. It’s mine,” I bit out, cutting him off because I didn’t need any fucking explanations.

“I never wanted to keep it from you. I told her I wouldn’t keep it for long, but I promised I would give Izzy the chance to tell you.”

“Doesn’t change anything, does it?”

“Uh, yeah, pretty sure it changes a lot. You’re a dad, asshole. And you’re over here getting hammered when you should be getting to know your kid.” Jace’s brow was all pinched up, guy looking at me like he didn’t recognize me.

I scoffed out a sound. “Izzy was right in not tellin’ me. I don’t deserve to be a dad, and I sure as hell don’t want that kind of responsibility.”

The words slashed.

Disgust after disgust.

All of it coming fast.

All of it directed at me.

I was to blame.

I’d always been to blame.

Ian angled over the table. “So, what, you’re just going to pretend like you don’t have a kid? Go on with your life like nothing has changed? Keep dipping your dick in girls like Clarissa because it makes your life easy? Tell me you’re joking because you are not acting like the guy I know.”

Easy.

Hilarious.

Jace reared back. “Tell me you aren’t still hooking up with her?”

“None of your concern who I’m hitting,” I returned.

I started to push from the booth. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go take a piss and get the hell out of here. You two have families to be with. You don’t need to babysit me.”

I started to walk away, and Ian grabbed me by the forearm. “Come on, man. Don’t act like this. Let’s talk this out. This is a big fucking deal, and I know you have to be shocked. Confused. Angry, and on some level, I’m sure you deserve to be. But you can’t just walk away like this.”

I ripped my arm out of his hold. “Watch me.”

I was being a prick, but I couldn’t sit there for a second longer and endure their judgment. Could feel it radiating from them, coming at me, wave after wave.

Had enough judgment to cast me into the grave.

I stumbled my way down the hall and fumbled into the men’s restroom. Could barely remain standing at the urinal while I took a piss, my mind and head spinning so fast my sight was blurring.

A cyclone of alcohol and agony.

I tucked my dick back into my jeans, buttoned, washed my hands, refused to look at myself in the mirror in fear that I was gonna see the kid staring back.

The kid. The kid.

I pressed my face into my hands, trying to shut it down. To shield myself from this need rising up inside of me, screaming out to do something. To stand up and be the man Izzy had believed I could be.

First sight, and I’d already fucked it up.

Izzy hated me.

Izzy.

Little Bird.

I pressed my hand to the wall when I swayed, and I shook my head hard and flung open the door and staggered out into the hall.

Feet nearly gave when I saw Clarissa coming out of the women’s restroom, my sight blurry, but 99.9% sure it was her.

Speak of the devil.

God, wondered what it’d feel like to have those lips wrapped around my cock.

Torture myself with the mindless bullshit I deserved.

Her smirk was nothing less than cruel victory when she saw me standing there staring at her.

She sauntered across the space, dripping sin, backing me right into the wall. “Back for me so soon?” she purred.

My stomach twisted, nausea rising, but I was reaching for her, pushing my fingers into her hair, jerking her mouth to mine.

“Told you, you’d come crawling back,” she hissed at my mouth, kissing me harder. Deeper. Her tongue slipping inside.

That sickness only grew.

Spin. Spin. Spin.

I was gonna lose it.

The girl crawled all over me right out in the hallway.

Nothing new.

It felt wrong. So goddamn wrong.

“You belong to me, Mack. You always have. Don’t fucking forget it.”

And I tried . . . I tried to kiss her back. Tried to fight the nausea that churned in my guts when I wrapped my arms around her waist and hauled her against my hard, aching cock.

Problem was, it wasn’t aching for her.

Izzy, Izzy.

Anguish flowed.

I pulled her closer, trying to get lost, to fall into her, to block out everything except for the feel of her against my body.

The only thing I saw were three faces.

Three faces.

And I knew, I was utterly and completely fucked.

I pried myself away, stumbling back, and I pointed a finger at her. “No,” was the only thing I could get out of my mouth.

She raked the back of her hand over her mouth, cleaning the lipstick I’d smeared. Or maybe her face was just distorted.

She laughed that crazed sound. Like she’d won.

“No,” I mumbled again, turning around, hand darting to the wall to keep me steady.

I blundered my way down the hall, her voice hitting me from behind. “Time to get over yourself, Mack. Why do you think you keep coming back to me? We were made for each other.”

Trying to block her out, I shoved through the throbbing crowd, glancing over at the booth where I’d been sitting. Jace and Ian were long gone. No doubt, they knew the only medicine for me was blowing off steam.