Pieces of Us (Confessions of the Heart, #3)(33)

Great place to get lost in a rage. In hatred and disgust.

What the fuck had I thought going over there? That I’d apologize really quick, sweep her into my arms, and we’d live out our lives?

A happily ever after?

Sunshine and fucking rainbows?

Sunshine, my ass, and my ever after was never destined to be the happy kind.

I should have known. That’s what I got for hoping for a change. For something more when I’d always known I couldn’t have it.

I groaned, then jolted when I felt the movement across the booth from me. Warily, I opened my eyes, not in the mood for any bullshit.

Jace and Ian slid into the opposite side, worry written all over their expressions.

Annoyed, I frowned, taking another sloppy swig of my whiskey. “What the hell are you two doing here?”

Might have been slurring.

Who knew.

Tapping his fingertips on the table, Jace angled his head. “Mirena called my number on one of my business cards. Said Ian and I needed to get down here. Something about our brother getting ready to have a meltdown. I’m pretty sure she was just worried you were going to tear apart the place.”

Asshole tried to slide in a joke. Would have smiled, too, if his comment didn’t have me wanting to rip off his face.

Ian itched in this seat. “Mack, man . . . what’s going on? You look like shit.” He glanced at the tumbler clutched in my hand, brow twisting in surprise. “And are you drinking whiskey? Shit. It really is bad.”

Humorless laughter came rolling out. “Oh, it’s bad, all right.”

“What’s going on?” he pressed.

“This have something to do with Izzy?” Jace asked, leaning forward. No doubt, he was probably shouting over the band playing on the stage, but his words were getting lost in the din, people shouting and the crowd noisy.

I rested the side of my head on my palm, and it only spun faster, my stomach sick.

So sick.

“Izzy’s a mom,” I somehow managed.

Jace shifted in discomfort. “Mack—”

I shook my head to cut him off. “Two kids. Oldest one is mine.”

Oldest one is mine.

I gasped out a choked sound. Couldn’t breathe. Might’ve been dyin’.

“Shit, Mack, dude . . . what the fuck? Are you sure?” Ian stumbled around the question, and Jace was pushing out a strained breath, running his hand through his hair.

“Like looking in a goddamned mirror.” My voice was a rasp, that kid’s face etched in my mind like it’d been written there all along.

Fuck.

I took another swig of my whiskey and forced the acid down. It burned just as bad as when I forced out the words, “Has a disability, too. Cerebral palsy, maybe. Something like that. His legs are all . . . fucked up.”

Was I able to say that and not be considered a dick? Because they were. And I wasn’t putting the kid down. Problem was, it was taking every ounce of restraint I had to remain sitting the hell down and not to go rushing back over there, sweeping in to pick him up.

Hold him.

Protect him.

Right there to make sure no one ever messed with him.

His smile hit me, filling up my mind, the kid so . . . happy.

A fireball that had come from out of nowhere, crashing into my atmosphere, but not quite making it into my world.

It’s your fault.

It’s your fault.

Pain splintered through my chest, and a shudder of revulsion slipped beneath my flesh. I curled my hand around the glass, so hard I was lucky I didn’t crush it. But maybe that’s what I was hoping for.

A distraction from the unbearable pain scrambling all the rationale I kept inside. Anything would feel better than this.

“Fuck, Mack, I’m sorry,” Jace said, and there was just something about his voice that had me looking up to study his face, this feeling taking me over.

It only sent a fresh round of anger surging through my veins.

This was Jace. Not my blood, but my brother. The guy who I’d trust with my life. Hell, with the shit the two of us had gotten into a few years back, it wasn’t even a theoretical notion. It’d been our reality.

And there it was—guilt gripping his expression.

My head cocked to the side in disbelief. “You knew?” My voice was ragged and sharp, my existence no longer making sense.

My attention flew to Ian, and he was already putting up his hands in surrender, head shaking fiercely. “Don’t even say it, Mack. You think I wouldn’t tell you something like this?”

“Yeah, well your big brother didn’t seem to find it fit to do me the same favor.”

Jace sighed out his regret.

There was a ton of it, but that didn’t make it better.

“Listen, Mack, I just found out. Barely a week ago. Faith told me after Izzy came back to Broadshire Rim.”

Disappointment and betrayal pulsed and throbbed, and I sat back in the booth, blowing out a resentful breath. “Faith knew.”

Of course, she knew.

She’d been Izzy’s best friend.

He nodded. “Yeah. Pretty sure carrying that secret has been eating her alive. But she felt she owed it to Izzy.”

A roll of bitter laughter filtered out, and I rocked my head back on the high booth, body filled up with nothing but disbelief. “Perfect.”