Pieces of Us (Confessions of the Heart, #3)(31)

“Izzy.” That rough voice hit me from behind, worry and concern coming out with it, and there was no resisting the lure, and I slowly spun around, hit again with the full force of the man.

“I need to tell you something before we go inside,” I whispered like caution.

He raked a hand through those dark blond locks, the epitome of the description of sand. Shiny, sunny strands dappled with browns.

“Figured you might have a few things you needed to say to me,” he said. “Same as I have a few things I need to say to you.”

My smile teetered, and I was trying to hold on. Trying not to break down right there.

“I have children.” I figured I just had to get it out before I lost the nerve.

I watched the words penetrate him. The shock and the hurt and the jealousy.

Maybe a little curiosity.

Then it was acceptance that came riding in. The man knew he had no right to any of the earlier ones. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know I wanted a family. A big one.

Heck, I’d dreamed of it with him right here on this very porch. We’d sit rocking on the swing in the night with fireflies humming around us. Sometimes we dreamed those dreams sitting in my tree, and sometimes in my room which had led to bad, bad things that had felt so incredibly good.

The memories of it seemed to echo around us then, whipping and whirring and inciting those old feelings that might have been better off left dead.

His throat bobbed heavily when he swallowed, and he was back to rubbing at the back of his neck, doing his best to hold back his disappointment and anxiety.

I understood that.

Was okay with that.

I guessed in a whole lot of ways, I’d been disappointed, too. But the hurt and betrayal had outweighed all of that.

I let him process, the man looking off into the distance, his big body vibrating as he bounced a few times. Finally, he looked back at me. “Okay.”

Okay.

I rubbed my hands up my arms. It was way too hot to get a chill, but I felt something cold sweeping through me.

He took a step forward, angling down. He touched my cheek.

Fire flashed. Warming me. Head to toe.

God, I couldn’t let myself get lost in this man right then.

“It’s okay. I get it. We’ve been apart for a long, long time. Never expected you not to move on with your life. It’s what I’d hoped you’d do. Find something better. But I’d be a liar if I said I’m not fucking thrilled that you’re back.”

Moisture welled in my eyes, faster than I could stop it. I wasn’t sure if it was because I didn’t know if I could ever forgive him for what he’d done. If I could ever open my heart enough to go there with him again. At the same time, I wanted to so badly.

But this was bigger than what I wanted.

“Maxon . . . it’s more than that.”

My explanation froze on my tongue when the door banged open, and in a blur, Dillon came stampeding out onto the porch. Two feet away from Maxon, he came to a screeching halt.

It took me a second to process that he’d gone and disobeyed, and my already fried nerves were zapping and crackling. “Dillon.” My voice was sharp, a little bit horror and a lot angry that he hadn’t listened.

“What did I tell you about waitin’ inside?”

But he didn’t have time to answer before Maxon was swiveling around, and I was moving toward Dillon, too, this feeling coming over me to get in front of my son. To be right there in case I needed to protect him.

Not that I would ever think Maxon would purposefully hurt him. And in a physical way?

Never.

But it was my job to protect my children the best way that I could. To shield them and hold them and ensure the relationships they were a part of, the ones they made, were the healthiest they could be.

“Hey, there,” Maxon said, so softly and with so much affection that my scrambled heart throbbed in an overwhelming bout of emotion. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Dillon. Are you really a cop? Do you have a gun? Have you had to shoot anyone? Do you get scared at your job?”

There my son went, rambling his unending slew of questions, while I was struggling to stand. To remain calm. To see this out before I totally lost my nerve and asked Maxon if we could do this another time.

Maxon chuckled and glanced up at me with a smile on his face, so big that it was making it hard for me to see anything but him kneeling there.

The kindness.

The goodness.

All the things I’d thought I’d seen in him before he’d proven just how cruel he could be.

I shook it off. I had to focus. I wasn’t finished. “Dillon, you weren’t supposed to come out here until I was finished talking with Mr. Chambers. You need to go back inside.”

“Ah, Mom. Why do you gotta be such a funsucker? I was just sayin’ hi.” He turned his attention back to Maxon, lowering his voice. “My mom is so serious all the time but that’s okay because she’s got the weight of the whole world on her shoulders. Life’s hard, Mr. Chambers.”

Maxon laughed, and then he wasn’t laughing any more.

I could feel it.

The shift in the air.

My alarm becoming his.

His spine stiffened. This staggering wave of energy cracked through the air as he straightened.

The man stumbled.

As if he’d been burned.