Out of Breath (Breathing, #3)(106)

‘Oh, Emma,’ he murmured in my ear, making me bite my lip. His fingers coiled into a fist on my stomach, and his arm tightened in restraint. ‘Maybe I should go upstairs.’

Just as he turned on his back, I uttered, ‘Don’t go.’ He was suddenly very still. ‘You’re right. We’re not ready. And I don’t know what’s happening between us. But … if you can, will you just lie with me? If you can’t, I …’

‘I can do that.’

He exhaled deeply. I realized he needed some distance, so I rolled on my side and shut off the light. A few minutes later, Evan slid behind me and I found his hand, gripping it tightly in front of me.

‘Goodnight, Emma,’ he whispered in my ear just before he kissed the top of my head. My breath faltered. I squeezed his hand, and as impossible as it seemed, I fell asleep.





32


Relentless


I THOUGHT I HEARD VOICES. I TRIED TO ignore them, but they were … giggly and almost shrieking. I shifted and Evan mumbled something behind me, his arm still draped over me. ‘Evan?’ Still deep in sleep, he didn’t respond.

I listened again and heard, ‘I’m so glad you’re here. We’re going to have the best weekend.’ I shot up in bed, forcing Evan to roll over.

‘Evan, wake up,’ I urged in a panic.

‘Yeah, Emma’s still in bed,’ Sara said to one of the girls. ‘Her room’s right there, if you want to wake her.’

‘Shit, Evan.’ I shoved him. He blinked his eyes open. ‘The girls are here. Get out of my bed.’

‘What?’ he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

‘Get out, now.’ I pushed against his shoulder. ‘They’re coming into my room.’

He finally caught on just as a knock sounded at my door. Evan scrambled out of the bed and practically fell over, tripping on the sheets in his dazed state. He disappeared behind the bathroom door as Serena poked her head in.

‘Emma?’ When she saw that I was awake, she smiled brightly. ‘Hi.’

‘Hi,’ I said, smiling in return and trying to calm down from panic mode. I glanced at the bathroom out of the corner of my eye, and had to force myself to keep smiling when I noticed the door was cracked open. I wanted to throw something at him, but I redirected my attention to Serena before she caught on.

‘Good morning,’ Meg said as she entered the room. ‘You slept late.’

‘What time is it?’ I asked, fighting the urge to look at the bathroom again.

‘Ten thirty.’ Meg sat on the edge of the bed.

‘How was the drive?’ I asked, my heart beating so hard I could feel it in my ears. I needed to figure out how to get them out of my room without it seeming obvious.

‘Not bad,’ Serena said, sitting on the bed in the spot Evan had just left. ‘This house is insane by the way. Nice find.’

‘Thanks,’ I responded, twisting the sheets under the covers. ‘I was just –’

‘Finally!’ Sara interrupted, coming into the room and shutting the door behind her. I wanted to groan, knowing I wouldn’t be able to make them leave now. ‘I thought you’d never wake up. Now that the girls are here, we can finish that conversation we started last night.’ I opened my mouth to argue, but she stopped me. ‘Don’t you dare. This is a big deal.’

‘What’s a big deal?’ Meg asked, looking from Sara to me.

‘What’s going on between you and Evan?’ Sara began the interrogation.

I braced myself for the heart attack that was about to happen. I actually hoped it would, so I could avoid this conversation.

Serena pounced. ‘Why? What happened?’

I couldn’t help it – I glanced at the door – and even though I couldn’t see him, I knew he was listening.

‘Umm … I don’t know really,’ I answered evasively, trying to keep my voice quiet. ‘We’re … talking.’

‘There’s more than talking going on,’ Sara said. ‘I mean, I saw you guys last night at dinner.’

I swallowed. Please let me vanish right now. Please!

‘Has he kissed you?’ Serena demanded.

‘No,’ I answered quickly, trying not to think about the kiss he’d given me on the top of my head last night. My cheeks flamed in betrayal.

‘Are you lying?’ Sara accused. ‘Did you kiss him and not tell me?’

‘I swear, I didn’t kiss him,’ I answered adamantly.

‘So how do you feel about him?’ Meg asked. The girls quieted, leaning closer in anticipation. And I could have sworn the door opened wider.

‘I’m not sure how to answer that,’ I said honestly, resigning myself to the conversation … and Evan listening. ‘It’s been intense. A lot’s happened, and I’m just trying to figure things out. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us to start anything without fixing what went wrong to begin with.’

‘And what was that?’ Meg asked.

‘Me,’ I answered quietly, unable to look at any of them. ‘He doesn’t trust me. And I have to earn that back if I want to try again.’

‘Do you – want to try again?’ Serena asked excitedly.

I didn’t want to answer this question, so I said, ‘I’m not ready.’ It was the only thing I knew to be true. ‘Okay. What are we doing today?’ I did my best to sound cheerful as I redirected the conversation. ‘I have to kick you guys out in a minute, because I really have to use the bathroom. But what’s the plan, so I know what to wear?’