Out of Breath (Breathing, #3)(105)

‘No.’ He laughed lightly.

‘Come here,’ he beckoned, gently picking up the leaf and scooting towards the middle pillow. I eyed him suspiciously. ‘Don’t worry, just come here.’

I moved over, and he opened his arm and patted the shoulder closest to me. ‘Lie here, and I’ll hold the book.’

I hesitated, contemplating.

‘Emma, just come lie down.’

I sighed and rested my head on his chest, fitting perfectly along the dip of his shoulder. He handed me the leaf, taking the book from me. I could hear his heart beating under my ear. I didn’t know where to put my arm, so I rested my hand on his chest, listening to his heart pick up its pace at my touch, knowing mine was doing the same thing. I took a slow breath and tried to concentrate on the words as he held the book above our heads.

‘I’m a couple of pages behind,’ he told me. ‘Do you mind if I catch up real quick?’

‘Go ahead,’ I said, pinching the stem of the leaf that was still in my hand, brushing it gently against his chest.

I lay there silently as he read. I could feel the heat from his body along my skin. I could hear the erratic beating of his heart. I was being pulled to him, and it was becoming too much for me to resist. Just as I was about to move away, Evan said, ‘I’m going to miss that house.’ His gaze was focused on the leaf I was nervously playing with.

He rested the opened book on his stomach and brushed his fingers along my arm. I propped up on my elbow so I could see him, still closer than I should’ve been.

‘What do you mean?’

‘My mother’s selling it,’ he told me, his voice heavy and quiet.

‘She can’t do that,’ I said passionately, my heart convulsing at the thought of it belonging to anyone else.

‘I’m working on it,’ he assured me with a deflated breath. ‘But it’s not looking good.’

I lowered my head back on his chest, reflecting.

‘I love this tree,’ I said in a hushed tone, ‘and the swing.’ I stared at the leaf so he wouldn’t see the emotion surfacing.

‘Me too,’ he muttered softly. ‘And the barn. That was such a great place to escape to.’

‘Yeah.’ I flipped the leaf over on his chest. ‘If those walls could talk, right?’

Evan laughed. ‘I would listen.’ I smiled fondly at the thought of what they’d say.

‘Those woods freaked me out though,’ I recalled. ‘Or maybe it was your driving.’

‘Hey,’ he balked defensively. ‘I thought I was pretty good on that bike. You didn’t trust me?’

‘Only when my eyes were closed,’ I teased.

‘I love that kitchen,’ Evan stressed. ‘I set it up exactly how I wanted it.’

‘The kitchen, really?’ I laughed. ‘Of course you’d love the kitchen.’

‘If I remember correctly, you loved that kitchen too.’

‘It was more about the food than the kitchen,’ I corrected. I paused, mentally walking the halls of the house, inhaling the scent of wood and polish. ‘You never did play the piano for me.’

‘No,’ he said quickly. ‘That never did, or will, happen. My parents forced me take lessons, but these fingers are most definitely not meant to play the piano.’ He splayed his fingers in front of him, and I grinned, lying back against his shoulder to look up at them.

‘Yeah, you’re right; they don’t look worthy of a piano,’ I mocked.

‘I wish I could’ve swum in that pool at least once.’

‘I still don’t believe there was a pool. I think it was just a hole, because why else would it never get uncovered?’

‘Guess we’ll never know,’ he sighed, his voice heavy. ‘I can’t believe she’s selling it. The best moments of my life happened in that house.’

‘Mine too,’ I whispered, lost in the remembrance of all the life-changing moments that had happened while I was protected within the borders of that property. Evan was quiet. I suddenly realized what we were really saying.

‘Have you caught up?’ I asked, clearing my throat.

Evan picked up the book again. ‘Yeah.’

We began reading. I’d nod when I was done with the page, being the slower reader – or maybe he wasn’t really reading any more.

At one point he shifted, and I could feel his breath along my cheek. I couldn’t concentrate. My heart raced, and my body flooded with heat.

I closed my eyes, pushing away the desire to tilt my head up towards him. I knew he was right there; I could feel him. I pressed my lips together and inhaled. When I opened my eyes, the book was gone, and Evan had carefully removed the leaf from my hand.

‘I know this is hard,’ Evan said in an exhale, rolling on his side with his arm still under my neck. I kept facing up, staring at the ceiling, trying to breathe. I knew I should move away, but I couldn’t. ‘I feel it too. And I’m having just as hard a time resisting, Emma. Because I don’t want to do anything we’re not ready for.’

I closed my eyes, my chest tightening, knowing I wasn’t ready. But the firmness of his body against my side and his scent held me captive, keeping me from moving a single muscle. I was afraid to lose this – his touch, his warmth. His hand ran across my stomach, and I inhaled quickly.