Our Kind of Cruelty(54)

‘Come on, V,’ I said, ‘it’s going to be OK.’

She looked back down at Angus, who now had blood bubbling at his mouth. ‘I don’t know what to do,’ she whimpered, ‘I don’t … I don’t know what to do.’

I leant down and took her hand, pulling her upwards and over Angus’s body, so we could back further into the house. I pulled her into me, feeling her tiny body succumb to my arms, so that I was the only thing holding her up. It was all going to be all right; she was home.

I was holding her very tightly but I wanted her to look up just once, to look down the hallway and see what I had created for her. I wanted to take her by the hand and walk her up the stairs and into her new bedroom. But it wasn’t the right time and it was enough that she was there at all. That we had finally arrived where we were meant to be.

I became aware of people and noise and for some bizarre reason Kaitlyn was standing on my doorstep, her hand over her mouth. The blue flashing lights arrived in minutes and I stood as the police and paramedics came into my hall. I held out my hands to them, with V still slumped against my chest, almost as though she had fallen asleep on me.

We didn’t need to continue any more with this tortuous cruelty we had been inflicting on each other. We could enter a new realm, one in which we could show each other how much we loved one another.

And as I stood there holding my beloved in my arms, I realised that when it comes to grand gestures there is nothing grander than killing for love.





III





My barrister, Xander Jackson, returned this document ten days ago. It might sound stupid but I’ve missed it, even felt worried about it. I’ve missed the act of writing it, almost like it is in control of the end of the story. And I’m desperate to know what happens next, where we go from here.

‘This is dynamite,’ Xander said when he handed it back to me. ‘In both a good and bad way. There’s loads we can use here, but also I think you should destroy it.’

‘No way,’ I said.

‘I thought you might say that,’ he said. ‘But if you don’t destroy it you have to absolutely promise me you’ll never show it to anyone. Our case is fucked if you do.’

‘Why?’

‘Because it makes you sound a bit unhinged.’

‘What are you talking about?’

He laughed. ‘Sorry, unhinged is probably too strong a word. I didn’t mean that. It’s just, well, some people might not entirely understand what you feel about Verity. They might misinterpret some of the things you did, like waiting outside her office and walking past her house. You know.’

‘Not really.’

Xander composed his face and leant forward, his hands clasped in front of him. ‘In all seriousness though, Mike, we’re going to plead not guilty.’

‘But I did it,’ I said. ‘I’m not denying I threw the punches. I mean, there were witnesses apart from anything else.’

‘Yes,’ Xander said. ‘But you’ve been charged with murder and I’m pretty sure we can get it reduced to manslaughter. If we plead not guilty, then the charge of manslaughter is still on the sheet and the judge can direct the jury to convict you of that rather than murder. It makes a massive difference to sentencing.’

Xander is an idiot like all the others, but an idiot my lawyer assures me we need. He is a dick-slapping show-off who might not go to the clubs George frequents, or beat up women like the men my mother chose, but he’s still an arse. I’m sure he’s married with a couple of kids, but still looks at pretty girls on the street, still allows himself the odd fumble at Christmas parties. His cheeks are ruddy and I expect he gets excited by bonfires and how to cook lamb and chopping wood, a type of person I didn’t even know existed until I went to university, but they do, I promise. He thinks he got into being a lawyer to help people and do good, and doesn’t like to admit that sometimes it gives him a hard-on defending impossible cases. And also he likes the money. But right now he is the best chance I have of getting out of here and starting my real life with V.

Initially I didn’t want to implicate V at all. But Xander had some powerful arguments. ‘Do you really think she’ll be outside the prison gates waiting for you if you’re in here for ten or more years and she gets off scot-free?’ he asked after we’d sweated out the argument in a strip-lit cell for hours and hours. I could feel the sweat pooling under my prison-issue clothes and the ants in my bloodstream were running riot.

‘A girl like that? Especially after all the media coverage? She could write a book, be the toast of the town. There’ll be loads of men queuing up to take her on dates. Besides, I think it’s damned unfair for you to take all the blame on your own. I hadn’t thought of it before I read your document, but you were clearly coerced and you have to ask yourself why she did that.’

‘It was part of the Crave,’ I said. ‘I thought I explained that. And she didn’t coerce me. I enjoyed it.’

Xander waved this away. ‘Do you know she was the sole beneficiary in Angus Metcalf’s will? That girl is a multi-millionaire now.’

I shook my head. ‘V would never do any of the things you’re suggesting for money.’

He smiled. ‘Just an added bonus then, shall we say.’