Nobody's Goddess (Never Veil #1)(22)

“Is that why women whose husbands are still masked seem to get more scorn than the women who send their men to the commune?”

“Well, at the very least, those women are honest with themselves. And by choosing to devote themselves to a profession or hobby, they have value in the community. Still, I wouldn’t wish any woman to be in either position.”

I forced myself to smile. “How lucky for you that it all worked out.”

Mother paused before speaking. “Yes.”

We stopped. We’d reached the western edge of the village. If we were going to go for a walk in the fields, we’d have to pass through the commune first. The stench was off-putting.

A man in a faded, cracked mask stumbled from one edge of the commune to the other. I couldn’t tell what animal his face had once resembled. I figured he wouldn’t remember, either.

He stopped and slumped over next to a basket. Dirt went flying as his rear hit the ground. The basket was full of bread and veggies, all of which were rotting. What didn’t make it for mulch for the fields got dumped to feed the men in the commune. At least the lord doesn’t seem to care if these unloved men are not invited. Not that they’d go.

The man’s hand fumbled into the basket. He stuck the bread up beneath his mask, and I saw the mask bobbing. Between slow, slow bites of bread, he mumbled something, over and over and over.

“What’s he saying?”

“The name of his goddess.” Mother’s lips puckered. I wondered if the name was Alvilda, or if seeing any man in this state would give her the same reaction. “Let’s go.” She pulled us away in the opposite direction. Her gaze immediately sank to the dirt path and the footsteps we’d left behind. Mine did the same.

“So what happens if a woman stops loving her man? I mean after she’s already Returned to him?” What happens if Elfriede wakes up tomorrow, her wonderful Returning day behind her, and gets bored with Jurij?

Mother shook her head. The smile on her face seemed strained. “You ask every possible question, Noll.”

“I just wondered if it’s ever happened before.”

Mother tilted her head one way and then the next. “He’s safe once the Returning takes place. No woman’s eyes can ever hurt him.” She pressed her shoulder into mine. “Didn’t you hear the lord’s blessing? He proves his worthiness to his goddess, and his reward is a safe life thereafter, no matter how the goddess’s feelings change.”

It seemed strange to me. “But how do we know for sure? A man has no choice but to love, but a woman’s heart … ” A woman’s heart could love one day and hate the next. Couldn’t it? Could I hate Jurij? Even after what he told me …

“I know.” Mother chewed the inside of her cheek. “That is, we know. We know the men stay safe after a Returning. It’s happened before.” She patted the back of my hand. “Not that there’s anything for that woman to do, but to accept the man she’s deemed worthy by then. No one else will ever love her anyway.”

Something seemed off about what she said. Maybe I was supposed to be worrying about her and Father. As if I didn’t have enough to worry about.

We stopped to let a cart pass onto the dirt road in front of us. I lifted my head up as much as I dared and saw the door to the bakery shut, a cart full of heaping hot loaves and sweet buns, and a man in a mask in front of us. “Darwyn?” I ventured a guess. The baker had many sons, but this one was of a height with Jurij.

He stopped pulling and turned. I couldn’t look up at his mask, though; he was too tall, and the castle was off in the distance behind him. “Miss, Ma’am,” he said, lifting up his cart handles and pulling his cart forward.

“Miss?” I muttered. “We were friends for twelve years, you—”

Mother stopped me. “You know they forget things like that once they find goddesses. What you and Jurij have is quite unusual.”

What Jurij and I have was only at the command of his goddess. I wondered if in a few months we’d all be attending Darwyn’s wonderful Returning. Roslyn would soon be old enough, and they seemed as in love as every other coupling in the village. In fact, I overheard one of Elfriede’s sappy friends whisper that the two of them had even experimented a bit in the darkness. Guess the lips of one he used to find so girly and repulsive just couldn’t be waited for.

“Where’s he going?” I asked. The Returning ceremony was surely almost over, and I knew we hadn’t ordered that much bread. There was enough to feed a hundred more guests at least.

“To the castle,” replied Mother.

A cart or two passed by our house on the way to the path through the woods almost every day. Goods the lord ordered to feed him and his servants. The deliveries would keep the lord appeased, so he’d never have to venture out to see us himself. They’d continually make sure this village had the first goddess’s blessing.

“Have you ever seen him?”

Mother laughed. “No woman is allowed to look at the castle, much less set foot in it. Why would I have seen him?” We didn’t say anything for a moment more, listening to the wheels turning on the cart a short distance in front of us. “I heard you were with Ingrith right before she died today.”

That was rather blunt. I stopped walking, pulling on Mother’s arm to make her stop as well. “She was acting crazy, Mother. Even worse than usual.” Did she suspect I’d witnessed it? “She … she scared me.”