More Than Lies (More Than #1)(59)

“Not really.” I deadpan. This is not a topic I want to discuss. I have thought about it. I should want to move and get away from home, from Oxford, my parents, but I don’t, not really. My parents, yes, absolutely, but . . .

Even I don’t want to admit it inside my own head.

“And why not? You graduate in six months.” He sounds exasperated.

“Don’t start with that crap, Trent. I heard it from Mother last week.” Now I’m the one that’s annoyed.

“I’m not mom, and I’m not giving you an ultimatum. I’m not asking you to give up your dreams. You can write anywhere.” Trent was more than pissed when I told him about my brunch with our mother. He wanted to call her, but I begged him not to. I knew, and so did he, that confronting her would only make things worse between us. Thankfully, he agreed to let it go. “You can’t live there forever, Taralynn.”

Great. He’s going to bring up Shawn.

“I realize that. Can’t we just forget about this conversation and enjoy tonight?” Jeez, what’s with him? He’s not usually all up in my business.

“Look, I know how you feel about him, but,” Trent pauses as if searching for the right words so he won’t tick me off. Probably smart on his part. “Maybe leaving for a while would be good for the two of you. Show him what he’s missing.”

“HA!” I laugh out loud. I can’t help myself. “The only thing Shawn Braden will miss when I leave is my cooking. You and I both know that. I’m not stupid, Trent. I know he doesn’t like me the way I like him.” God, I’m so over this conversation.

He’s driving at a snail’s pace. We should have arrived already. Kylie’s parents’ house is less than a mile from our parents’ house.

“I don’t know if I believe that.” He chimes. “I don’t think I’ve ever believed that. When he thinks no one is watching, he stares at you. Shawn always has. I think you confuse him. I also think that he thinks he’s supposed to want a certain type of girl and won’t allow himself to be with anyone different. Shawn doesn’t take chances, if you haven’t noticed.”

“You’re wrong, Trent. He just bought a business, and one that will be challenging for him to manage and still enjoy tattooing. That place needs a lot of work. If that isn’t taking a huge chance, a risk, then I don’t know what is.”

“I’m not talking about taking a chance with his brain, I’m talking about his heart, Taralynn.” I start to refute his statement, but he doesn’t give me the opportunity. “I just want my little sister to be happy. If he can one day make you happy, then that’s what I want for you. I want you to experience what I have with Kylie. I can’t describe it. There are no words. She completes me, and I know deep down that the moment she becomes my wife, I’ll never want for anything again. You deserve that, too.”

Wow. I can’t lie. I do want that. I want that and more, but I also know Shawn isn’t going to be the man to give it to me. I would love nothing more than for him to, but I can’t realistically believe it’ll ever happen.

“Trent, I love you and I love that you love me so much that you want that for me too. I do want it. You know me, and you know I do, but it won’t be with Shawn Braden. As much as it sucks, as much as I pretend it doesn’t hurt, he’s made it perfectly clear on more than one occasion that he doesn’t want me. Not now, and not ever. Just forget about it, okay? I’m tired of dreaming unrealistic dreams.”

“I think you’re wrong, little sis.”

I need to change the subject.

“So when is this wedding going to take place? Because you’ve been engaged for three years!”

“It’ll happen. Once we finish our residency and get settled somewhere. Florida, I hope; it’ll happen.”

“And then?” I can’t contain the excitement in my voice.

“Then what?” He takes his eyes off the road for a brief second to glance over in my direction. “You coming to live with us is about as far as my future plans go right now.”

“Kylie wants a baby. I know she does. She loves kids.” She still reminisces that Mason made the most perfect baby doll ever when she was a little kid. I can see that having a real life baby to play with versus a plastic one would have been way cooler.

“Then she’ll get a kid. She can have as many ankle biters as she wants when we get married.”

“But do you want a baby?”

“Sure, why not?”

“You don’t sound very convincing there, daddy-o.”

“I’m not opposed to having a kid. I don’t have a desire to have one. For Kylie, she’s looking at motherhood as another step in completing herself; to fulfill something inside of her. I guess . . . I guess I already feel as though I got that fulfillment with you.”

“I’m sorry.” Dang, was I that much of a burden for him?

“No, Taralynn, do not say that. I’m not sorry. You’re taking that wrong.” He removes one of his hands from the steering wheel to grasp onto mine and squeeze. “When they brought you home, you were the coolest thing I had ever seen. Any opportunity I got I’d feed you, and it was fun because you never threw up on me like you did with everyone else. And I could talk to you for hours. Did you know my name was the first real word out of your mouth? You have no idea how neat that was.” He releases my hand to grab onto the wheel as he pulls into the Morgan’s driveway. “I don’t know . . . I don’t have a desire for a kid like she does, but if it’s what she wants, then it’ll be what she gets.”