Landon & Shay: Part Two (L&S Duet #2)(4)

“I missed you,” he said, provoking instant fluttering in my stomach.

“I missed you, too. How have things been? How’s California? How are you?” That was the most important question.

He smiled his gentle smile and brushed his finger against the bridge of his nose. “Things have been okay. Busy, but good. I have a lot of appointments with my therapist, to keep me in a routine. We are trialing a few different meds to help keep my mind on track. So far, so good. I just miss you and my friends, but I know it’s the right fit.”

“Good.” I sighed, feeling so much relief at hearing that he was doing okay. He looked okay, too. No, he looked better than okay. He looked damn good. “And your mom?”

His grin deepened. “She’s great. She’s been my rock, and it’s been good having her by my side through all this. I’m glad I’ve been able to be by her side, too, with all the divorce crap my dad’s putting her through. I don’t get it, really—him being so cruel. Mom has always been good to him, and I’m certain there was a time they were in love. I just can’t imagine being so cruel to someone who at one point you thought would be your forever. It’s like the love never really existed in the first place.”

I frowned. “My mom’s not handling her divorce much better, but our moms are strong. They’ll get through it.”

He nodded. “Yeah. Your mom is strong, for sure. I’m pretty sure she hates my fucking guts, but she’s strong. She’ll be okay. My mom will be, too. She’s resilient.”

“I’m guessing that’s where you get the trait from.”

He reached across to me and placed his hands in mine. “You want to talk about it?” he asked, his voice low and somber. “About your aunt?”

“It’s hard. If I think about the cancer, I get too sad. It sits in my throat, and words become hard to get out. Watching her as she struggled for the last few months was the hardest thing in the world.”

“Then let’s not talk about those months. Tell me about who she was before she got sick.”

“What do you want to know?”

He smiled and brushed a fallen piece of hair behind my ear. “Everything.”

We sat in that car for hours, laughing, reminiscing and holding one another. We stared silently for a while, too. Being quiet with Landon came so easily to me. If we had to sit in silence for the rest of our lives, I knew I’d be comfortable as long as it was with him.

As I sat in his lap for a bit, he wrapped his arms around me and held me. There was nothing sexual about it, either. Our bodies lay against one another, my head nestled against his neck as I closed my eyes. I could’ve fallen asleep right then and there, and I would’ve prayed I’d awaken in the same position.

“Did you win the lottery?” I asked after hour four passed by.

He snickered. “No, I just owe Greyson a big amount of money down the line.”

“He paid for you to come out here?”

“Yeah. Things are pretty tight with Mom at the moment, and my dad completely cut me off. Greyson reached out and helped, though. He knew how important it was for me to get to you, the same way he got to Eleanor.”

“Gosh, he’s such a good guy.”

“The best. The world needs more people like Greyson East.”

I sighed against his skin, snuggling in even closer. “Do you think Eleanor and him will figure things out with her being in Florida and him going off to college?”

“I hope so. I really do. I’ve never seen Greyson really care about someone the way he does Eleanor. Plus, it’s my hope that true love finds a way to work out in the end, no matter what.”

I snickered. “Who would’ve ever thought Satan himself would become a bit of a romantic?”

“What can I say? I met a girl who changed my views on life and love.”

“I have that effect on people,” I joked. “I had to stop talking to people about us for a while. Tracey said it’s stupid for me to be so young and in this type of situation with you.”

“Yeah, well, Tracey also dated Reggie, so I find her opinion null and void.” He looked me in the eyes and gave me a lopsided frown. “I do worry sometimes, though, that I’m taking too long trying to figure things out…that I’m not going to be able to be the person you deserve.”

“I told you to take your time, Landon.”

“Yeah, but shit.” He released a breath. “This is harder than I thought.”

“Tell me about it. Tell me what you’re going through.”

“It’s hard to explain. It’s like, trying to unpack my messed-up brain. There’re boxes upon boxes of crap with no filing system. There’s so much shit to shift through, and each time you take something out of one box, another box appears. Then you have a good few days of progress and bam! A panic attack shows up and you feel like you’ve failed. The worst part about the panic attacks is that while it’s happening, you beat yourself up even more that it’s happening. You cuss yourself out because you’re supposed to be past that stage. You’re supposed to be stronger.

“So, you have the panic attack, you blame yourself for allowing a panic attack, then it spirals and gets worse.” He brushed his hand over his face and shook his head. “Shit. That sounds depressing as fuck, but that’s where I am now, just shifting and sorting, and I feel bad for making you wait for me. Shay, I love you, but you don’t have to wait for me. I don’t know how long this is going to take.”