Landon & Shay: Part Two (L&S Duet #2)(11)

Oh, also the girls and I are renting a townhouse next semester. I’m looking forward to more space. It’s a hole in the wall, but it will be our hole in the wall. I hope you can come see it soon.

But yes, I’m happy, and proud, and desperately missing you, but not enough to request your return while you’re living your dreams. Besides, sometimes it’s nice to have someone to miss. Makes the reunion that much sweeter.

Love you times two.



-Chick



P.S. I tossed in some Starbursts. Only the pinks and reds because that’s how much I love you.

P.P.S. My father called me a number of times this week. I didn’t answer, but almost wanted to a few times. I’m working through that in my head right now. I want to know what he wanted to say, but also I want to know why I even care.





March 17th, 2005



Chick,



Happy St. Paddy’s!

I hope you’re at some totally cliché college party and drinking green beer in celebration.

Today we are filming in Amsterdam. It’s my first real big role, and we’ll be out here for the next few months. It’s crazy how beautiful it is over here. When I get a chance, I’m going to bring you to Europe. I’m going to take you everywhere. I want to show you the whole world, Shay.

I want to say that everything about the acting world has been amazing, but some days, it’s hard. I miss not having my therapist here, but we have Skype calls whenever we can fit them in. Some days, my anxiety takes over, and I worry about my mind slipping away again, but I’ve learned some pretty good coping techniques to tame my nerves.

As far as the acting goes, I’m not perfect. Every time I mess up, I get really down on myself, thinking I’m wasting people’s time and money, which, I probably am doing. Everything in the world of Hollywood is about those two things—time and money. After each shoot, I go back to my hotel room and overthink how I could’ve been better.

Dr. Smith says that’s a bad thing to do, trying to rework the past when I can just apply what I’ve learned to the future. Still, I struggle. One second at a time, I guess.

It’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s fake in this place, in the world of actors. It’s hard to tell if people really like you, or if they are just acting, if they are just trying to network or build an actual authentic connection and friendship. Everything comes with a layer of mystery to it, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I miss real. I miss raw. I miss you.

Speaking of you, in the last two letters I sent you, I asked for your screenplay to read, and I get the feeling you casually ignored that request. I know it’s great, Shay, and maybe I can figure out a way to get it in the right hands of someone in the industry.

I know you’re afraid of giving it to the wolves, but remember, I’m a sheep in wolf’s clothing. I’ll take care of your baby.

I tossed some Belgian chocolate into the package, and I’m praying they don’t melt. I also added some chocolates from Switzerland for Raine, seeing as she claims to be Switzerland and prides herself in keeping her nose out of other people’s business.

When I get back to the US and get a real break, I’m coming for you.

Looking forward to tasting your lips. Looking forward to holding you. Looking forward to you.

Love you x2.



-Satan



P.S. I can’t believe your dad’s still calling you. If it’s bothering you, maybe it’s time to change your number.





4





Shay

Twenty years old





“Hello?” I whispered late one night in May as I lay in bed. The ringing phone awakened me, and I sat up alert when I saw Landon’s name flash across the screen. It was past midnight, and we hardly ever called on a whim without letting each other know ahead of time, so of course worry was the first thing that came to mind.

“Hey, Chick,” he said, sounding calm. That allowed me to ease up on the nerves a little.

“Hey. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Sorry, I know it’s late, but I was feeling a little homesick, and I just needed to hear your voice.”

My heart did that pitter-patter thing in my chest as I lowered myself back down to my pillowcase. “You’re missing me, huh?”

“So damn much. Something’s going to have to give soon because man…I miss having you in my arms.”

“Well, stop being so famous.”

“I’m not famous,” he said, yawning into the receiver.

“You’re sleepy.”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t sleep without hearing your voice. I was hoping I could fall asleep with you on the other end of the line, listening to you talk to me.”

“Anything in particular you’d like to hear?”

“You could recite the ABCs, and I’d love it. Honestly, anything.”

“Like how my father showed up to my college campus looking for me?”

I heard the alertness in his voice. “Wait, what?”

“Yup. I noticed him walking around campus. This was after me ignoring a solid number of his calls over the past few months and changing my number.”

“What did you do?”