If You Must Know (Potomac Point #1)(108)

Can’t hold me back

’Cause I’m gone, I’m gone

And finding my

way out of the storm

I’m healing now before your eyes

Watch me grow, watch me grow

As I follow where you go

I’m no longer

a tear falling down

Now that I’ve got reasons

to pick myself off the ground

I’m hearing voices

telling me to move on

You give me reasons

to pick myself off the ground

By the time he’d finished, each hair on my body stood on end. I wanted him to sing it again so I could focus on the lyrics, most of which I’d missed because my mind had blanked from a gush of excitement. I’d inspired him. Me—Erin Turner. I’d become a muse. My dad would love it! I loved it, and I really hoped this song was his way of saying he didn’t want to walk away, even if my impulsiveness scared him a little.

He set the guitar down, eyes aglow, licking his lips, watching me. My body seemed disconnected and adrift somehow, yet anchored in the incredible moment.

“Eli, it’s amazing! You broke through your writer’s block. That’s everything. I don’t even know what else to say . . .” “Thank you” came to mind, but sounded too self-important.

“I’m glad you like it. It felt good to put pen to paper again.” He slid off the arm to sit beside me on the sofa. Everything moved in slow motion. I studied the satisfied upturn of his mouth, the two-day stubble he scratched along his jaw, and the smile lines deepening around his eyes. His expression turned serious as he leaned closer and grabbed my hand. “I’m sorry I threw down an ultimatum. You were right. You’ve never pretended to be anything other than who you are, and that’s exactly what draws me to you. I wouldn’t want to change it, or make you think there’s anything wrong with your way of life.”

Boom! I wasn’t often speechless, but those words meant so much I soaked them up like a cactus in the rain.

I stared at the faintly whiter skin on his ring finger where—once upon a time—his wedding band had been. “Thanks, but you weren’t completely wrong, either. Until recently, I’ve always thought that no one should have a say in what I do, because I’m willing to live with the fallout. Now I get how those consequences don’t affect only me. They affect everyone who cares about me, which means I ought to at least consider others before plunging headlong into something that could have negative consequences.”

We stared at each other in silence.

“I’ve decided maybe Karen came through that woman at that exact moment because she thought you could help me find my way back to the world.” He turned my palm over in his hand and traced the lines, like I’d fantasized about a couple of weeks ago. I’d never understood how Amanda and Mom got mushy at those Hallmark movies, but now I was about to cry over the connection building right here. “Do you think we could pick up where we left off last week?”

That did it. The tears spilled onto my cheeks, and I was even willing to thank Nancy Thompson if I ever saw her again.

“On one condition.” My voice trembled like the rest of my body.

“What’s that?”

I sniffled while swiping my cheek and smiling. “We seal the deal with ice cream.”

He stared at me, heat in his eyes, which shot me off on another roller-coaster ride. “I’d rather seal it with a kiss.”

“Oh!” I nearly fell off the couch. “Not many things rank higher than ice cream, but I’m thinking that might.”

“You set a high bar.”

“I try!” Nervous laughter didn’t keep my mouth from going dry. It seemed impossible that any kiss could live up to my expectations.

Then Eli gently brushed his fingers through my hair before trailing his thumb along my jaw and cupping my face.

I set my hand on his thigh, closing my eyes because I could barely breathe beneath the intensity of the look in his. When his lips brushed mine, my body got so hot my bones seemed to melt. He swept his tongue to seductively dance with mine, slowly at first, then building with confidence and desire. My heart surged with yearning so strong I almost pushed him back against the cushions.

He eased away, smiling at me, scanning my entire face, perhaps seeking reassurance that it had been as good as we’d both hoped it would be.

I wrapped my hands around his neck, feeling simultaneously eager yet shy. “I may never need Dream Cream again.”

He laughed, and we were about to resume the kissing when my phone rang. Amanda’s ringtone. Oh God! This zenith of happiness had made me forget all about my plan to be home to greet her.

“That’s my sister. She went to see her husband in jail today, so I should take it.”

“Absolutely.” He sat back while I dug my phone out of my pocket.

“Hey, how’d it go?” My body now tingled for less pleasant reasons.

“Not exactly as expected. When will you be home?” Her cool voice quavered.

My stomach dropped. “I can be there in ten minutes.”

“Good. I’ll be waiting.” The clipped tone and the fact that she hung up without her usual pleasantries put me on high alert. What the hell had Lyle done now? I dug my hand into my hair, staring into space.

“I’m sorry, Eli. I need to go. Something must’ve happened . . .” I looked at him. “Really, though, you have no idea how sorry I am to leave.”