How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life(42)
When it comes to my team, I’m the talent. This means that it’s my job to be in front of the camera, onstage, or in a studio. Although I may be good at entertaining the masses, I wouldn’t be where I am if it weren’t for a number of other people who are really good at their jobs. I’m good at telling jokes, but my manager is better than me at strategizing my overall career. Performing in front of 18,000 people is no problem for me, but when it comes to the legalities of that performance, my lawyer is much more knowledgeable than me. The stories and lessons in this book are my brain babies, but without my editor you wouldn’t be able to read my incorrectly spelled sentences (sometimes not even autocorrect can save you). When it comes to my team, I’m the best at doing what I’m supposed to do, but I’m the absolute dumbest when it comes to everything else. And I wouldn’t want it any other way. It’s like we’re all holding our own paddle, one that no one else knows how to handle, and we’re rowing in unison.
“BEING THE DUMBEST PERSON ON YOUR TEAM DOESN’T MAKE YOU A STUPID PERSON; IT MEANS YOUR SMART ENOUGH TO SELECT PEOPLE TO WORK WITH THAT YOU CAN LEARN FROM.
Being the dumbest person on your team doesn’t make you a stupid person; it means you’re smart enough to select people to work with that you can learn from. It also means checking your ego and being okay with the fact that you aren’t the best at something. When I’m in a meeting with my team, every member has something to contribute to the conversation based on their area of expertise. We’ll be discussing an upcoming shoot and all I’m thinking about is how I can prepare to be the best on set. Suddenly my makeup artist will bring up a few concerns around makeup transitions and I’ll just sit there quietly, dumbfounded, because I have no idea what a highlight is. I didn’t know people were using highlighters on their face now! Isn’t that like ink poisoning or something? Then my agent will start discussing exclusivity around the photos and use a whole bunch of acronyms that I’ve never heard before. I feel like a mother who is reading her child’s Twitter feed and needs to Google the meaning of “LMAO.” The point I’m making is that all of these questions and ideas are things I would never think of or, to be honest, don’t have the capacity to think of. I’m not a trained makeup artist and I don’t know how to be an agent. So what do I do? I own being the dumbest and I ask questions.
What good would it be to surround yourself with smarter people if you can’t learn from them? There seems to be this universal fear of “looking stupid” or “sounding dumb.” Who is dumber, the person who pretends they know everything, or the person who doesn’t and asks questions? Wasting an opportunity to learn seems pretty dumb to me. It’s difficult, though, to let go of the idea that people may view you as “stupid.” At the end of the day, we all care to some extent what other people think (except maybe Kanye West—he might not care what anyone thinks). But what’s more important: doing a good job or saving face?
When I was on the set of my first-ever feature film, Dr. Cabbie, I become great friends with Kunal Nayyar, aka Raj from The Big Bang Theory. Yes, he talks to girls in real life. Every time he would act a scene out, I was mesmerized by how invested he was in his character. If his character was sad, Kunal felt that pain and it showed on-screen. I also noticed that after a scene, Kunal didn’t always feel the need to watch playback. I was obsessed with checking playback because I wanted to make sure I looked okay in the scene. When I asked him about it, he dropped a knowledge bomb that would help me in several areas of my life. He said, “People get too concerned about looking stupid on-screen and so they constantly check the playback. You can’t be scared of looking stupid. Instead, just be how your character is supposed to feel.” I think that’s a great rule to live by when it comes to “looking stupid.” Doing a good job should be more important than how you look. With that lesson in mind, I created a rule for myself: if you don’t understand something, ask questions until you do understand it. And I mean REALLY understand it. If that takes two or three questions, then so be it. That’s not “looking dumb,” that’s being dedicated to learning something new. I know now that a highlight is something that goes on your cheekbone with powder, not a Sharpie. People have stopped looking at me weird.
“WHO IS DUMBER, THE PERSON WHO PRETENDS THEY KNOW EVERYTHING, OR THE PERSON WHO DOESN’T AND ASKS QUESTIONS?
I think it’s essential for growth to occasionally surround yourself with people who are smarter than you. A big reason I moved from Toronto to L.A. was because when it came to YouTube, I was the most knowledgeable person in my hometown. Before I moved, people would approach me and ask, “You make money off YouTube?” and I would have to explain that ads ran on my videos, so yes, I did. When I moved to L.A., people were suddenly asking me questions about my watch time, pre-roll ads, and how I window my content. I was like a deer in headlights because I had no idea! All these people were smarter than me when it came to YouTube, and it forced me to become better.
During my Streamy Award acceptance speech, I said something very important that I would like to repeat here. As I stood in front of a roomful of fellow creators, I said, “People always say that if you’re the smartest person in the room, then you’re in the wrong room. Looking around, I can definitely say that I’m absolutely in the correct room, because you’re all so talented and inspirational.” At the end of the day, you can’t learn new things if you’re always the one giving the lessons. You need to be around people who challenge you, intimidate you, and teach you new things. Being a Bawse isn’t always about being the best; it’s about placing yourself in the best situations.