How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life(2)

Being a Bawse is hard work. It requires an unfathomable amount of dedication and hustle. The following pages do not contain tricks, quick tips, or get-rich-quick schemes. I’m not going to tell you about any shortcuts or good luck charms. Instead, I am going to make your work ethic sweat, your mind expand, your fear dissolve, and your obstacles crumble.

If you’re ready to conquer your life, turn the page. It’s time to be a Bawse.

I’m rooting for you with all my heart.





RULES FOR READING THIS BOOK





LIKE MOST RULES, EVERY RULE IN THIS BOOK has an exception. In fact, don’t even think of these chapters as rules; think of them as guidelines. Don’t look for the unique scenario that disproves my point. In other words, don’t be that annoying person in the YouTube comments section who has to be a Debbie Downer. If I say “SMILE!” don’t yell, “But what if someone got paralyzed in a bungee-jumping accident and fractured their jaw and doesn’t have the ability to smile anymore, Lilly?” Don’t focus on finding the loopholes but instead use that energy and focus on what you can learn. Also, if you got into a bungee-jumping accident and only fractured your jaw, you have a lot to smile about!



BEFORE YOU READ THIS BOOK, I NEED YOU to lay down your defense mechanisms. Take them off and put them away. I’m going to call you out and tell you you’re slacking. I’m going to shine a spotlight on issues that make you uncomfortable and that you want to avoid. There’s no room for excuses, justifications, or pity parties. Read the chapters with an open mind and resist the urge to get offended or defensive.



THIS BOOK HAS A LOT OF INFORMATION IN IT. I know that because it took me fifty years (an estimation) to write. Don’t feel bad if you forget things! In fact, I encourage you to read chapters over and over again because becoming a Bawse is a process that doesn’t happen overnight. Take notes. Rip out pages and plaster them to your wall. Do whatever you need to do to retain these guidelines.



IN A LOT OF THE CHAPTERS, I talk about how I apply each Bawse rule to my life. If you can’t relate to these specific scenarios, that’s completely fine and understandable. The goal is to understand the general principle and adapt it to your situation. I’m providing you with a framework—it’s up to you to tweak it.



DON’T GET MAD at yourself or feel discouraged. This book is an opportunity to call yourself out, grow, make mistakes, and become better. Reading this book should be viewed as a journey toward something positive, not an exercise in judgment and criticism.

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO!

Start stretching! It’s about to get real.

cue Rocky theme song

ARE YOU READY?!

(please proceed to beat your chest with determination) THIS IS THE MOMENT!

(would be great if you could clench your fists in preparation) THE TIME IS NOW!

(initiate heavy breathing—bonus points if you squint) 3 … (maybe jump a little)

2 … (roaring noises are encouraged)

1 …

HERE WE GO!!!! IT’S TIME TO BE A BAWSE.





PART 1


MASTER YOUR MIND


Our mind is our biggest asset, but also our biggest obstacle. It is the most important tool we possess, but it is useless if we don’t know how to apply it. In this section you will learn how to befriend your mind, control it, and become more self-aware. Moreover, you’ll learn about all the tricks your mind can play on you and how to be the best referee possible. If you want to be a Bawse, your brain needs to get on board.





I’M SWEATING in my blue overalls as I look at all the obstacles ahead of me. I have three options: (1) pound my head on this brick block and hope for a star, (2) run and jump over the enemy, or (3) stomp on this turtle’s head and force him to retract into his shell. No matter which option I go with, the fact remains that the Koopa Troopa up ahead is going to stay there. I can’t control it or convince it that it’s actually a Ninja Turtle and thus is in the wrong game. That’s fine. No Ninja Turtles means more pizza for me, and I’m Italian, so this is all working out. I know the Koopa Troopa isn’t going to listen to me, and therefore I need to control the only thing I can—and that’s me, Mario.

Videogames are a great analogy for life. You go through levels, get thrown off by obstacles, and face several enemies. The game will become harder and harder, but it’s okay because you become smarter, faster, and more skilled. When playing a videogame, you control a character by making it jump, run, duck, and attack. I mean, that was back in my day when my Super Nintendo controller had two buttons. Today videogame controllers have as many buttons as a keyboard, so who knows what you can do. You can probably press A + Y + Z while twirling your left joystick and your character will sing the national anthem. Either way, the fact remains that your character is the only thing you can control in the game. The enemies will keep coming, the walls will keep shrinking, and the time will keep ticking away. It’s your job to navigate your character through a situation you cannot control.

That’s exactly how you should view life. A Bawse understands that there are many things in life you have no control over and it is inefficient to become frustrated by that reality. Not being able to control people and situations doesn’t make you powerless; it just means you have to exercise your power in a different way. If you can’t control people, then control your reaction to them. If you can’t control a situation, then prepare for it.