How Not to Drown in a Glass of Water (41)

Maybe El Obama is different. I am optimista. When he says, this is our moment, this is our time, I think maybe because he is the son of an immigrant he understands the situation. Honestamente, when he became the president I felt it right here, on my chest. I felt light, less scared of the future for us. So it’s easier to breathe now. Maybe he will stop the killing of immigrants at the border.

Lulú says gracias a Dios the test is multiple choice because with my mouth I would never get my papers. Honestly, applying for the citizenship feels a little bit like treason. It will not be easy to say I am American, because when someone says American they don’t imagine me.

Why? You know why? Because I have an accent. I look dominicana. Do you feel American?

Yes. Interesting.

I don’t know, I think to get the papers is like marrying someone who has no feelings for me. But also sometimes getting married has benefits.

Who knows? If God wants it, I am going to be American.

So, yes, I will study hard to pass the test. I don’t want to be like my neighbor Fedora, who took the exam three times. Three! But, between you and me, Fedora is not so intelligent. You know why I say this? She did not vote for El Obama. When I discovered this, I decided to treat her nice—we exchange some dishes—but I understand she is different than me.

With the papers I can vote. To me this is important because there are many people like Fedora who make the wrong choice. With the papers, if Mamá dies—I am not trying to curse her with this thought, but if she does happen to die—maybe I can solicit the papers for Papá so that he can come to live with us and his grandchildren. But the biggest benefit, and this I’m sure you know already, is that I qualify for a job with the government. So someday I can be like you. What do you think about that? Are you laughing at me? Ah, you’re smiling because I am smiling. Ha! But it’s true, right? All I need is a high school diploma.



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My point is that when I went to mail the application with Lulú I told her about Alicia the Psychic and her visions. Of course, Lulú did not trust. She said, If you are that lucky and that robot is real, then prove it to me.

She was not being very nice, but when she is not happy, I am careful and try not to push the wrong buttons. Learn this from me: When someone is desperate and miserable like Lulú, because every day she gets more bad news about Adonis, they are not generous with the other people. It’s true that I also have problems, but Lulú has more big problems than me. In the bodega I bought the lotto card that you have to scratch. You win or lose in an instant. I thought of something Walter Mercado told me. Yes, I know he told everybody. But he said, Leave no space for negativity. Focus on the positive. Focus on love. Focus on what is possible. And then, if you do that, the good things will fill your life and there will be no space for the bad things.

I say this to you because you are young and have no problems. At your age everything is possible. But for me, even if a lot of terrible things are happening to me right now, if I remember to breathe deep, I don’t feel lost. So I breathe. And I breathe. And I scratched the lotto card believing that Alicia the Psychic was doing the Galactical Magnetization so that I could secure my fortune.

And I won $25!

It’s true I had to spend $5 for the lotto card, but this is what is interesting about the story: the cashier only had dollar bills and gave me $25. I left the store holding the dollars, so happy to prove Lulú was wrong. And then I saw myself in the reflection of the glass of the store and there was the vision of Alicia the Psychic. Me, holding money in my hand in the street.

No, don’t worry, I will not buy any more of those cards. They are dangerous for a person without money. But with all the crazy in my life, it was fun to play the lotto. Yes, yes, I understand it’s not a permanent solution.



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So let’s talk about the jobs you recommended to me. They are very good recommendations and I have been thinking about them. For example, the security job you showed me weeks ago. I think I would be happy to do the class to get my certification. I think I can be good for detecting the intruders. For sure, nobody suspicious could get past me. I could monitor the students in the entrance of the school and make sure they have permission to leave. I can watch them when they eat lunch. I can receive the packages and inspect them. But to answer the phone? No. All the jobs you share with me that require the phone, I cannot do. I detest to talk on the phone in English. I don’t know why, but when I am on the phone I understand only half of what the people say. La Vieja Caridad told me that this happens because I listen to people using my nose and my eyes. That’s interesting, no?

But I trust what she says. I learn many things from La Vieja Caridad. The other day when she came to my apartment to eat we saw a documentary about whales, the ones that kill the humans. But what I learned is that everybody believes these whales are killers, but in all of the history that we know, only four humans have been killed by these whales. Four. And all of the humans that have died like this, it was because the whales were in captivity. Wouldn’t you want to kill someone that puts you in a cage when your nature is to be free in the big ocean? Imagine to not have the space to swim. Imagine to be separated from your family.

But in this documentary, the grandmother, who is also the leader of all the whales, died. They don’t know how old she was. Maybe seventy-five years old. Maybe she was more than one hundred years old, but the scientists were following this old whale for forty years. Can you believe that? And when they lost the whale in the ocean, the scientists could not even talk because they cried so much. Forty years devoted to following this whale all over the Pacific. The money they spent on the robots, the cameras, the ships, looking for this whale with their binoculars. It’s incredible. It made me think of Fernando and how I still wait for him. How I look for him on Channel 15, praying that he will visit me.