Finding Grace(15)

I changed and fed Oscar, and when I heard Blake’s car pull up outside, we were just about ready to go for brunch. I froze when I heard voices in the hallway.

As I carried Oscar downstairs, I saw that Nadine was there.

‘Mum wanted to pop in and see Oscar on her way into town.’ Blake smiled.

‘Thought I’d do a spot of shopping while I’m here,’ she said. ‘I still miss the small independent shops, living in London.’

‘Here he is.’ I handed Oscar over, but she looked startled, holding him at arm’s length and away from her pristine coat.

‘Goodness, who’d have thought a little chap could dribble so much?’ She smiled tightly. ‘Do you have a tissue, Lucie? Their chins can get quite sore if you just leave them to drool, you know.’

I bit down on my tongue and fished a tissue out of my pocket. I dabbed at Oscar’s chin. ‘There. You should be acceptable for Grandma now.’

Blake shot me a look.

‘What’s that?’ Nadine tipped her head to study the mark on Oscar’s temple.

‘Oh, he took a little tumble off the bed,’ I said, trying to keep my voice light. ‘He’s perfectly OK, but he caught his head on the bedside table, I think. I’ve smeared a bit of Savlon on it.’

‘How on earth did that happen? Weren’t you watching him?’ Nadine looked at Blake.

‘Of course I was! I just dropped something on the floor, and when I went to pick it up, he chose that exact second to roll over.’ I didn’t want to say I’d been lost in a daydream about Blake’s recently increased absence.

‘He was lucky, he could’ve really hurt himself.’ Blake frowned.

I knew what they were thinking, even though they hadn’t said as much.

Grace had had one or two little accidents when she was a baby, silly things that should have been prevented. One time I forgot to close the stair gate behind me and she clambered up a few steps before tumbling down. Another time she pulled at the tablecloth and scalded her hand with hot coffee.

Fortunately, she wasn’t badly hurt in either incident, but Blake and his mother had long memories, it seemed. I felt sure Aisha had never neglected Liberty for a second.

But I was going through a bad time back then; the trauma of the past had a very tight hold on me. I was dealing with stuff Blake had had no idea about… stuff he still had no idea about.

I remember being constantly anxious and suffering panic attacks. I’d often wondered if I also had post-natal depression. Anyway, I wasn’t the same person now, but try telling that to Nadine.

‘How was Steph’s mum?’ I tried changing the subject.

‘A bit subdued, bless her.’ Blake pulled a sympathetic face and tickled a now-jolly Oscar under the chin. ‘She’s usually out and about litter-picking with the Rushcliffe ramblers on a weekend, but she’s got to get her strength back up before venturing out in the cold.’

‘Well, I don’t want to keep you.’ Nadine unceremoniously handed Oscar back to me.

‘Why don’t you come with us for a spot of brunch, Mum?’ Blake suggested.

I held my breath.

‘Thank you, but no, darling. I’m afraid huge breakfasts don’t suit me.’ She patted her flat stomach with a gloved hand. ‘Us girls have to work at keeping slim.’

I didn’t meet her eyes, but I reckoned I could make a good guess at what she was thinking. Well stuff the bloody diet. I was looking forward to a good nosh-up.

After air-kissing us all, Nadine finally left.

We wrapped up warm and tucked Oscar snugly into his pushchair, then made the ten-minute walk from our house to Copper Brasserie on Central Avenue. Blake unbuckled Oscar and took him inside the café while I grabbed his changing bag and followed them in, leaving the pushchair outside under the Perspex canopy of the external seating area.

While we were waiting for our food, predictably, Blake talked about his work.

‘I’m really excited by the local support, Lucie. The chief executive of the council told me off the record that she honestly thinks I could run for MP once my term is up.’

I nodded, sipping my latte and watching his amber-flecked hazel eyes light up as he spoke about the changes he’d already been able to instigate since being appointed councillor for the Trent Bridge ward a year ago.

He’d already told me last week about the chief exec’s comment. He was so full of bounce and enthusiasm, he often forgot what he had and hadn’t mentioned.

‘See, the higher up the ladder I get, the better I can make people’s lives.’ He took a gulp of his cappuccino, which left a line of froth on his top lip. ‘And the better our lives will be, Luce. With you, Grace and Oscar at my side, I feel like nothing can stop me.’ He caught my expression and frowned. ‘What?’

I ran a finger across my own top lip, and he grinned and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

He started talking about local transport links to the city and beyond, and I’m ashamed to say I felt myself listening a little less closely. Oscar bashed his rattle on the high-chair tray as if he’d had enough too.

Zoning out was how I often dealt with Blake’s unerring passion for his job. Of course I was interested in his work, but sometimes his relentless vigour exhausted me. He just never stopped doing. And when he wasn’t actually doing, he was talking about it.