Finding Grace(20)

‘Thanks. That would be lovely,’ I say. ‘Sorry I shouted, I…’

‘No apology needed.’ She smiles and picks up the cup, still swimming in its saucer full of cold tea at my feet.

DS Paige turns to me.

‘I was just thinking about something Blake said earlier. That today was the very first time Grace walked home alone from her friend’s house.’

DI Pearlman comes back into the room just as the female officer leaves to make our tea. He looks thoughtful, sits down again.

I catch a lightning look between the two detectives. So quick, I wonder if I might have imagined it. I’m seized by an unexpectedly hopeful feeling. It’s now clear that these people are going to do their level best to help us find Grace. I can feel that they desperately want to help us. It’s so important I start to really believe that, to try and break the cycle of mistrust I’ve had for most of my life.

‘She… she’s been asking us for a while now. Turning nine has seemed to be quite a milestone in her mind. We’ve noticed she’s fighting for a bit more independence, to do stuff on her own.’

DS Paige writes something in his notebook.

‘So it’s true to say her behaviour has changed recently?’ DI Pearlman shifts in his seat a little. ‘She’s been finding her feet, challenging your parental authority. Would you say that’s a fair statement?’

A flame of annoyance sears my chest.

‘Not in the way you’re trying to imply.’ I control the urge to snap. He did say at the beginning that there would be uncomfortable questions he had to ask. ‘Please, just accept that there’s no way Grace has run away from home. It’s completely natural for her to try and push certain boundaries as she gets older.’

‘Of course,’ DS Paige says amiably. ‘My own daughter is ten, going on sixteen. Can’t tell her anything she doesn’t already know.’ I nod, offer him a weak smile. ‘Nobody’s accusing you of anything, Lucie. We’re just trying to ascertain Grace’s state of mind in the hours before she went missing.’

‘I didn’t want her to walk home alone.’ I bite my lip and glance at my husband. ‘Blake pushed as hard as Grace did for it to happen and I felt I couldn’t just keep saying no.’

It comes out wrong. Sounds accusing and I didn’t mean it to.

‘Lucie, that’s not really fair. I—’

‘I don’t mean it’s your fault, Blake. Just that… Well, you both convinced me really.’

The detectives turn to look at him. Is it my imagination, or have their expressions turned slightly wolfish, as if they’ve just realised they are on to something?

Blake looks at me pleadingly, his fingers twisting together. ‘Grace kept going on and on about walking home and we just thought it would be fine. We both did, right, Luce? We agreed that Mike would watch her leave his house and I would monitor her arrival home. I didn’t pressure you to say yes, or go on about it, did I?’

‘No. I… I didn’t mean it like that.’ It must sound to the detectives as if I’m backtracking, trying to protect my husband, but it’s true that I wasn’t blaming Blake.

He did go on and on at me, though, in support of Grace’s obsession with walking home alone. I told him I thought she was still too young, and he dismissed my concerns.

Mike effectively did his bit watching Grace leave, but Blake put checking his phone before his daughter’s safety. Then he slipped on the path he’d failed to maintain because of his councillor duties and twisted his ankle so badly he couldn’t get up for those fateful few minutes.

Unwelcome possibilities thunder through my mind.

So many times I’ve heard how the missing child’s father is the first suspect in cases like this, and that’s exactly what the detectives must be thinking now.

I stare at my husband, sitting there with his head in his hands. I’m certain he loves Grace every bit as much as I do. I just think he just worries less, believes she needs a little more leeway than I’m sometimes prepared to give her.

There are plenty of us can see right through the facade…

Damn Barbara Charterhouse and her vicious words that seem to have opened up a crevice of doubt in my mind.

My husband has no facade; what you see is what you get, and Blake would never do anything that might hurt our daughter. I believe that with every fibre of my being.

I open my mouth to tell the detectives that he didn’t push for Grace to walk home alone, that he wasn’t negligent in monitoring her progress back to the house.

‘Blake, I wonder if it might be better if we continue our conversation down at the station,’ DI Pearlman suggests, breaking into my thoughts. He raises his hands to show he means no harm. ‘Nothing formal, nothing to worry about. Just that being away from the house might give you the space to—’

‘You seriously think I’ve got something to do with my own daughter going missing?’ Blake stands up, runs his fingers through his hair.

‘Not at all, Blake. That’s not—’

‘The press are out there, and I’m the local councillor. What do you think people are going to say if you take me off in a marked police car?’

For a second, I detest him. That he could think about his image at a time like this is beyond belief… but then he redeems himself.