Don’t Let Me Go(75)

“You did so good, though!”

Grace felt Billy kiss the top of her head. Then he turned and ran. Flat-out ran. Grace had no idea Billy could run so fast. Must have been all that dancing he’d done for most of his life.

Jesse raised his hand in a little wave. “Sorry I can’t wait and walk back with you, Rayleen.” Then he took off after Billy.

“Jesse, you’re magic!” Grace called after him.

She wasn’t sure whether he’d heard her or not. But, after it was way too late to take it back and not say it, Grace realized that Rayleen had definitely heard.

Grace stood a moment, extra close to Rayleen, and watched them run.

Then she said, “I think I finally really believe it now. That Billy’s coming to my school to watch me dance. It’s like I thought I believed it before, only now I really do, and now I know that before I sort of really didn’t, even though I thought I did. Do you really not like him? Because everybody else thinks he’s great.”

“Are you kidding? I love Billy.” Then, before Grace could even straighten out Rayleen’s thinking, she said, “Oh. Jesse.”

“I don’t mean it to be getting all up in your business. I just wondered. Because it seems like it would be hard not to like him.”

Rayleen sighed. Grace waited.

“He seems like a nice enough guy,” she said. “I just don’t want to be fixed up with anybody. Not even somebody nice.”

“I wasn’t,” Grace shouted, stepping back and throwing both hands out, defensively, like a shield.

“I know,” Rayleen said. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so grouchy about it the other day. I apologize.”

“Yeah, you were really grouchy,” Grace said.

“Have you ever done anything wrong?”

“Um. Yeah. Lots.”

“Wouldn’t you want someone to accept your apology?”

“Yeah. Got it. OK. I accept your apology. It hurt my feelings, though.”

Rayleen reached down and picked Grace up by her underarms for a hug, so that they were the same height, except that Grace’s feet dangled and didn’t touch the ground.

“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings,” she said. Then she kissed Grace on the cheek and set her down. “Have a good day at school.”

Then Grace had to wipe a couple of stray tears out of her eyes, quick, before anyone from school could see.





Billy



Billy locked himself safely back into his apartment, feeling as though he’d run at least three marathons in as many days, without benefit of one single night’s sleep in-between.

He washed his face, nursing the staticky exhaustion in his midsection. He changed back into his pajamas, pulled all the curtains closed, and tucked himself into bed, prepared to sleep the day away.

Not ten minutes later he was startled by a pounding on his door.

It didn’t only scare him because of its suddenness. It was troublesome because nobody pounded any more. Grace and Rayleen signal-knocked, Felipe knocked gently, Jesse knocked like a gentleman, Mr. Lafferty was dead, and Mrs. Hinman didn’t come around. And Grace’s mom was still loaded. At least, so far as he knew.

“Who is it?” he called, his voice embarrassingly tremulous. He had no energy left for…well, anything.

“Rayleen,” Rayleen’s voice said through the door.

Billy walked to the door, unlocked it and opened it wide.

“No signal-knock today.”

“Oh. Sorry. Right. I guess I forgot. So, is he gone?”

“Is who gone? Oh. You mean Jesse.”

“You bet I mean Jesse.”

“He’s up in his own apartment. Why?”

But Rayleen just stood there, not offering anything in the way of answers.

“Care to come in?” Billy asked.

She did.

“You seem upset,” he said, because somebody had to say something.

“Do you really think he did that because he cares about you?” she asked, finally, settling herself on his big stuffed armchair.

Billy wondered if she had forgotten she was allergic to cats, or if she was just too upset to trifle with such an issue.

“I do,” Billy said. “Absolutely.”

“You don’t think he might’ve come along as a way of getting to me?”

“No. I don’t. Because when he first volunteered to help me, he had no idea I hadn’t been going out by myself.”

“Oh,” Rayleen said.

Billy watched an uncomfortable shift take place in her. She’d come in angry, and that anger had been serving her well, and providing a safe place for her to rest. Billy could see that, and feel it. Now he’d snatched it away, like pulling the sheets out from under her in her sleep. It was hard to watch her struggle to regain momentum.

He sat down on the very edge of the couch.

Rayleen dropped her face into her hands.

“I hope it won’t upset you, what I’m about to say,” he said. “But I’m having a hard time understanding why you’re so bent out of shape about this. I mean, if you don’t want to date him, why don’t you just say no?”

A long silence. Rayleen did not remove her face from her hands.

Finally she said, “But what if ‘no’ is the wrong answer?”