Don’t Let Me Go(78)

He rose to his feet, cat in one arm, and extended a hand to her.

“Please,” she said, purposely not looking at the hand. “Please…let me try to ask this again. I’ve obviously made a mess of it, and offended you, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. Please let me say it again so you understand me better. My knees are going out, and I live up two flights of stairs. And one of these days pretty soon I just won’t be able to get up and down them. Maybe I can do it for another year or two, or maybe it’ll be the day after tomorrow. Probably closer to the latter, I’m afraid. And then, I’ve been thinking, what will I do? Will I die? I have to eat. How will I get food in to me? How will I get my mail, pay my bills? Take the trash out? And then I thought, well, that young man downstairs has been doing it for years, and he’s still alive. So I thought you might be willing to give me some pointers. It’s life or death for me, you see.”

Billy bent his knees and sat down on the couch again, closer to her this time.

“I’m not that young a man,” he said quietly. “I’m thirty-seven.”

“That’s young,” she said, more relaxed now. “You just don’t know how young it is. How do you get your groceries in?”

“I have them delivered. There are services in LA that will deliver anything to anybody. Trouble is, not all of them will come into neighborhoods like this. And even the ones that will, you have to pay them extra.”

“Sounds expensive.”

“It is. I have to eat a lot less to make up for it.”

“Oh, dear,” Mrs. Hinman said. “I’d hate to have to eat any less than I already do. I realize this is absolutely none of my business, and you’re well within your rights to throw me out of here on my ear for asking…”

“My parents. My parents write me a small check every month. It goes into my bank account as a direct deposit.”

“Ah. So that answers two questions. Now I also know how you get out of going to the bank. I thought maybe you got one of those checks the government gives people who’re too…nervous…to work.”

“I’m sure I’d qualify,” he said. “But my parents have spared me the indignity of having to find out. Or maybe it’s their own indignity they’re trying to avoid.”

“How do you take out your trash?”

“I tip the delivery men to do it.”

“Ah. But you must have needed the doctor.”

“No. I’ve been lucky. I’ve been healthy.”

“I’d need the doctor, though,” she said.

And Billy didn’t — couldn’t — argue. Instead he made a confession.

“It’s not the doctor that’ll get you. At least in my case. It’s the dentist. I’m starting to get a little toothache. But I’m sure it’ll get bigger. Even if you could find a doctor who makes house calls in this day and age, I bet you can’t get a house call from a dentist.”

“Hmm,” she said. “What about bills?”

“What bills? All the utilities are included in the rent. And the rent can be done by a monthly automatic withdrawal.”

“Not the phone.”

“I haven’t got a phone. I used to have a phone. But it got expensive. And I had to keep a checking account, just for the phone. So now I order my food in person each time the delivery man comes.”

“Oh dear,” Mrs. Hinman said, sounding more frightened again. “I think I’d have to have a phone. Not that I ever call anyone. But what if there was an emergency?”

“I think there’s one thing you’re forgetting, Mrs. Hinman,” he said, and watched her turn her eyes up to him in perceived helplessness. “You have neighbors. Don’t you think Felipe or Jesse or Rayleen would run to the supermarket for you? Don’t you think you could just pound on the floor if there was an emergency, and someone would come running? Maybe somebody will even be willing to trade apartments with you, so you can stay independent a few years longer.”

Mrs. Hinman wrung her spotted hands in her lap, creasing the blue tunic. “Now why on earth would they want to do a thing like that for me?”

“Because we’re neighbors?”

Mrs. Hinman laughed doubtfully. “We never were before,” she said. “Not to the point where we looked after one another.”

“But now we are,” Billy said.

A long silence, during which Mrs. Hinman seemed flummoxed by the concept of neighborliness.

“Well, I should let you get back to your nap,” she said, “but I just can’t tell you how much better I feel. I’ve been beside myself with worry, and now it all seems silly. I should’ve known Grace would care enough to make sure somebody looked after me. It’s still a surprise that anybody else would, but I guess I’ll get used to the idea. Listen. Don’t tell the others we had this little talk, all right? It’s very hard for me to say I need help, or even let anyone see that, so let’s just keep this between you and me for now.”

“Fair enough,” he said.

He rose, and held out a hand to her, and she lumbered to her feet with a deep grunt, nearly pulling him over. He walked her to the door.

On her way out, Mrs. Hinman said, “Grace changed everything, didn’t she?”