Don’t Let Me Go(66)

It didn’t seem to make much difference, though, because this particular cat was chewing and swallowing a piece of peanut butter and jelly sandwich all the time Grace was pointing that out.

“Rayleen is in a really sucky mood,” she said, this time to Billy.

“Yeah, I noticed that,” he said. “What’s up with that?”

“Not sure. I think it has something to do with Jesse. I don’t think she likes him back.”

“Oh.”

“I just thought it would be…I mean, he likes her, and he’s nice…and then at least one of you guys wouldn’t have to be alone. You know. Like, one down, the rest of you to go.”

“I think it takes more than that for two people to get together.”

“What does it take?”

“I haven’t the vaguest idea. I don’t think anyone does. If you ever figure that out, write a book about it. You’ll be rich and famous overnight.”

“You’re so weird, Billy.”

“Hey. Something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about. Here, hand me the cat, OK? This will be easier to say if I’m holding the cat.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. She just calms me down.”

“OK, whatever.”

Grace passed Mr. Lafferty the Girl Cat to Billy, noticing that the cat was still trying to lick the last of the peanut butter off the roof of her mouth.

Billy pulled a big breath, so loudly that Grace could hear it.

“Tomorrow…when you go to school…”

“Tomorrow’s Sunday.”

“Oh. Right. Monday, when you go to school…I thought I might try walking just a little tiny bit of the way with you and Rayleen.”

Grace opened her mouth to shriek, but Billy held up a hand to stop her. And he seemed firm about it. Much more than normal Billy-firm. He didn’t want to hear any feedback.

“Don’t say anything,” he said, “because if you get all excited about this, then I’ll just get more scared.”

Grace held still, against all of her impulses, for what seemed like an impossible length of time. Then, when she spoke, she was smart enough to whisper. Really whisper.

“Does this mean you’re coming to my school?”

“One thing at a time, baby girl. One thing at a time.”

She threw herself at him, causing the cat to scoot away, and hugged him tightly around his neck.

“I knew you would,” she whispered, even more reverently. “I knew you would say you couldn’t, and it would really seem like you couldn’t, but then when it came right down to it, I knew you would.”

“I only said I was going to walk part of the way to school with you on Monday.”

“Right,” Grace said, sitting back on her heels. “Got it.”

“And you can’t push me, and you can’t judge me. Because, the first day, I might not get much farther than the front stairs.”

Grace could feel her own eyebrows scoot up.

“You’re gonna do it every day?”

“Well,” Billy said, and then paused for a weirdly long time. “I have to practice.”

“Is that why you came to Rayleen’s today? To practice?”

“Well. Yeah. Partly. That and the fact that I didn’t want the new neighbor guy to think I was a complete and utter freak.”

“What’s so special about Jesse? What about the rest of us? What about what we think?”

“Oh, please. It’s way too late for you guys. You already know I’m a complete and utter freak.”

“That’s true,” Grace said. Then, after she’d thought the comment over, “No offense.”

“None taken,” Billy said.





Billy



In a spectacular stroke of luck, when Jesse knocked on Billy’s door the following evening, Billy was refining the choreography of Grace’s school dance. Which meant he was dressed in his dance pants and a soft, oversized light blue sweater. And he was even wearing shoes.

Maybe our luck is changing, Billy thought, but not out loud.

He opened the door to find his handsome new neighbor standing with a shiny smile on his face, a bottle of red wine in one hand, and two wine glasses, held by their stems, in the other.

It filled Billy with an odd and hugely unfamiliar feeling. It was good, nonetheless. Though he couldn’t have found the words in that moment, it was a sense of rightness. This is how life should go. You should be nicely dressed in your home when a gentleman knocks on the door to visit you, and he should be holding wine and smiling. And maybe he should say something like, “Is it OK? Because I really should have called first.” And then you can say something like, “Not at all. Do come in. I was just working on some choreography.”

Heaven-like, yet so completely forgotten. Such an ancient piece of history.

“How do you feel about neighbors who drop by unannounced?” Jesse asked, still smiling. “Mild irritation? Irrational hatred? Homicidal rage?”

“Not at all. Do come in. I was just working on some choreography.”

Amazing. It was almost akin to a life.

“What are you choreographing?” Jesse asked, settling himself on Billy’s couch. He set the bottle of wine and the glasses on the table. “I wasn’t sure if you’d have wine glasses. I didn’t want to assume you would. Then again, I didn’t want to assume you wouldn’t. I wrestled with myself a lot about that.”