Don't Let Me Fall(7)

The doors finally closed and I sighed in relief.

I don’t need to get involved in other people’s lives. I need to focus on my own and my families. And right now, I have some place to be instead of eating pizza with a pair of

twins who are way too close. Aimee just needs to cry and let her feelings out, and Logan needs to f-uck a random girl and leave me alone.

When I got to the hospital, Jacky was there with Remy. For a split second, I wanted to let go of the doorknob and turn back around, head to the cafeteria and kill time. I’m not in

the mood for Jacky’s regular questions. It’s like she doesn’t know that I shouldn’t be thinking about it.

But I looked at Kelsey who was lying in bed with a pen in her hands, drawing miserably. I’ve been there before.

I opened the door and tried my best to smile.

It wasn’t faked when Kelsey looked up and saw me.

“You’re late,” she said, cocking an eyebrow.

“Jacky and Remy are here. I was giving them privacy,” I said. “I can’t keep you to myself.” I glanced at my sister and her long time boyfriend and waited for the questions.

Remy isn’t a bad guy. He’s a six foot two, dark blondish hair, green eyed teddy bear but when Jacky starts with the ‘are you seeing anyone yet?’ shit, he gets involved and tells

me I should stop being picky. They both know what happened. They know I don’t date.

“We haven’t talked in awhile,” Jacky said glancing at me. Her manicured nails pointing at me like it’s my fault. It’s not. She has a phone. She can call me back when she’s not

busy.

“Been busy,” I said, shrugging.

“How’s school?” Remy asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Eh. Last year. Can’t wait.”

Who starts college at seventeen? Me. I told you I was smart. Insert wink face.

When I finally turned eighteen on Christmas, freshman year was kind of better. I bought a pack of cigarettes and finished it in a month (I’m not a chain smoker) and bought my first

five dollar scratch ticket which I won twenty on. I was stoked while jumping up and down and squealing like an idiot.

“Any boyfriends?” Jacky asked, locking eyes on me.

f-uck me. Here we go.

“Why is your sweater wet?” Remy asked changing the subject. Jacky shot him a look and I knew it was for changing the subject. My sex life, rather lack of, is the only thing Jacky

wants to know about. I f-ucking respect Remy a lot more now. Thank you, Remy Carter. You grew a pair of balls.

“A girl in my class used me as a shoulder to cry on,” I said. “Her ex has a new girlfriend.” I watched as the two lovebirds grabbed each other’s hands and squeezed. They’re

going to be together forever. Separating is not in their plans.

“A friend?” Jacky asked, hopeful.

I shot her a look to stop talking then walked over to Kelsey’s bed. “So, did Micha come back?” She bit her bottom lip and pretended to ignore me. “Listen, kid, I have all day.

We’re going to end up talking about him,” I said taking off my sweater. It wasn’t lost on me how silent the room got as I did. I only have a spaghetti strap tank top on so most

of my tattoos are visible.

Jacky hates seeing them. In her world, the body is something to take care of. People shouldn’t damage it by getting something permanent inked on them. Yeah, well…that is why she

has her own body.

I’m not those crazy kinds of tattoo people. My skin is still visible through most of the work I had done. My arms, legs and chest have the most of them. Some letters are on my

fingers. K, M, J, J. For my siblings and my dad. Mom doesn’t have one. She gave up on us before I started college so she can suck a dick. (I’m pretty sure she’s doing that as I

speak.)

I’m like a walking canvas. Adding more tattoos will happen eventually. There’s just something about getting something added onto your skin. It’s like pictures only they have more

meaning. I love them. They tell my story. There is at least one tattoo on every part of my body except my face, boobs, ass and vagina. Those are my don’t-even-think-of-touching-

me-there-with-that-needle places.

“You should show them off more often,” Kelsey said tracing a vine wrapping up around my arm. I got that one for Alice. She was always throwing herself off things. The first time

we met we were at some random person’s lake house. I saw a crazy blond hanging off the thinnest rope I’ve ever seen in my life. She was getting her momentum to jump into the lake

and in that moment I knew we’d connect. We also connected because when she got out of the water, she had blond hair dye running down her face and she flashed everyone who laughed

at her. She was crazy. We both were.

See, I’m the crazy girl. When I moved to Washington, I let myself have fun. I went wild. I wanted to be wild. So seeing the one and only other crazy person who would jump off that

thin rope was going to be my new best friend. And she was. I also met her older brother, Toby, that day too. All three of us connected instantly.

“And give people heart attacks?” I asked with a sad smile. “Jacky looks ready to pass out.” I wish she’d accept them because they’re…me.