Don't Let Me Fall(2)

“You’re a door?” he asked with a smile. Dammit, he has a dimple. A f-ucking dimple on his right cheek. Not only are the eyes distracting, he has a dimple! God! Stop looking.

“What’s your name so I can change the number?”

I smiled and shook my head because I’m trying to act like a normal person and not scream ‘bitch!’ when someone spots me. It happens a lot. People just hate me.

“No thanks,” I said.

“That’s the way you’re going to repay me?” Logan asked crossing his arms over his chest and cocking an eyebrow. All I see are muscles straining against his dark t-shirt and I’m

practically salivating. Don’t go there. Close your mouth. Think of something else. Rocks! “That’s f*cked up.” It worked.

“I’m a f*cked up person,” I said dryly. I can admit that. “Thanks for helping.”

So much for trying to act normal.

I walked through the door and slipped into an empty seat all the way in the back. I’m all caught up on my credits so I’m not behind. That’s a good thing. This five-year plan for

nursing really took a toll on me.

Nursing was all I wanted to do. That was before Kelsey got sick. Before I found out that I can’t be of any use to her. Nursing does nothing for her, for me. I loved it and now it’

s…blah. She’s getting weaker and weaker in that hospital bed doing the treatments, trying to get better because it is curable but it can come back. And what can I do for her?

Nothing. I’m here in school, doing nothing.

Being useless.

When Kelsey was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia (ALL) five and a half months ago, my hollow self completely let go of anything I had left in me (it wasn’t much just so

you know). I’m twenty-one and have nothing left to keep me going…besides my family. Which can fall apart anytime.

I have nothing left. My family doesn’t need me. I can’t do anything for them. I don’t want to be here…

Kelsey being sick was the last straw.

I completely lost it after that.

Logan was right. I am lost.

Only not physically.

I’m lost emotionally and mentally.

I have been for some time now.

And I don’t think I’ll ever be found.

I just keep falling into the blackness that consumes me.



- 2 -



“Hey, do you have a pen I can borrow?” a beautiful blue-eyed girl sitting two seats over from me asked. Her dark waves are pinned to one side of her head, giving her that go-f-

uck-yourself look but with a I’m-a-really-nice-girl look too. She looks preppy. For her not to bother me again, I dug in my purse and found one. “Thanks,” she said way too

cheerfully. “I’m Aimee.”

Great.

“Rebeckah,” I said, avoiding eye contact, hoping she gets the message. I turned my attention back to the professor and took notes on what is going to be happening in this class

for the rest of the semester.

I don’t want to be here but I’m going to graduate.

Kelsey won’t accept it if I don’t.

I aim to please.

When class was over, I was the last to leave because I didn’t want to get stuck in the crowd of people pushing and shoving. Once the crowd vanished, I headed to my next class and

decided to sit in the front. Not because I wanted to but because the girl I gave the pen to, Aimee, waved me over. She was waving her hands around like a lunatic, attracting

attention, so I walked over quickly to get her to stop because she looks like the type that gets what she wants.

We sat next to each other and Aimee commented on how hot the professor is. She gets points for that. We’re connecting on eye-f-ucking the professor. He has to be around forty but

his body looks amazing. He has stunning green eyes and his hair looks to be around light brown/blondish.

I barely remember what he said the whole class because my eyes couldn’t stop staring at his arms as he wrote on the whiteboard. Professor Roberts just had to wear a navy blue t-

shirt with light blue jeans.

I was bummed when class was over and it was time to head to one of my writing classes but Roberts was nice eye candy to keep me going. After the writing class, I headed to my last

elective then classes were done. Easy. Simple. Done.

“Rebeckah!”

Oh, f-uck me!

When you hear your name being shouted in a building that you’ve never been in, you know its time to get scared. Stalkers, killers or worse have been lurking around and are now

after you.

I stopped short and turned around with wide eyes when my name was yelled again. A persistent stalker then.

I sighed in relief when it was Aimee from class. At least it’s not some f-ucking weirdo coming at me with a knife. She jogged up to me and handed me my pen. I was astonished at how

fast she ran with heels on. All for a pen.

“You really didn’t have to give it back,” I said eyeing the pen. “I have plenty.” When I shop for school supplies, the whole family comes along and we get more than we need.

There is always extra. Dad went overboard and bought the entire Staples store so I was prepared. Uh, yeah, I’m in college and my father still buys me school supplies. What’s the