Don't Let Me Fall(6)

“Rebeckah, do you want to come with?” Aimee asked, her voice barely over a whisper. I stopped and turned around. Judging by the way Logan is giving me a look daring me to say no,

I should accept. Dammit.

“Sure,” I sighed. Aimee went doe-eyed and I mentally kicked myself. She doesn’t want to feel like shit and I’m groaning over here. f-uck me. “Yeah, let’s go,” I tried to add

with a small supportive smile.

We walked outside and headed down a few streets with college kids in large groups, laughing and talking to each other. I remember those days. I remember leaving class with Alice and

heading to our favorite pizzeria near campus. I remember us thinking we’d watch each other walk across the stage. Get an apartment. Get nursing jobs together. We had a whole life

planned out. We were planning on doing lots of double dates. Having kids. Living.

It all ended when we got into that taxi.

Stop thinking about it, Becka.

It’s not good if I do. I’ve been down that road before and nothing good comes out of it. I almost had to go into therapy because I was getting worse.

When I heard about Kelsey, Dad told me to come back home. I didn’t have another choice. I lost my best friend. I wasn’t going to leave my sister behind.

We walked into Aimee’s dorm building and signed ourselves in. I wasn’t shocked when I found out Logan’s dorm room is right across the hall from Aimee’s. They seem close. If he

was a girl, I totally picture them braiding each other’s hair and swooning over hot guys with Justin Bieber playing in the background.

We walked into Aimee’s room and I was shocked by how messy it was. Clothes and makeup are scattered all over the bed and floor, there are open bottles of alcohol everywhere, and

her TV is flipped upside down on the floor. Jesus, I’m glad her roommate only shares a bathroom with her. No one should have to share this.

“It’s kind of crazy,” Aimee said, sheepishly.

“Jesus, Aimee. He is not worth all of this,” Logan said, taking it all in then eyeing his sister. I can tell he wants to say something but he stayed quiet and just shook his head

while walking over to the bed.

Aimee swiped things off her bed and told us to sit before pulling out her phone and ordering pizzas and subs. I’m looking at the twins like I’m watching a tennis match. They’re

not looking at me and I don’t know what to do now. Should I go? Stay? Run? Clean?

“Uh…can I clean up?” I asked. “I kind of have a tiny bit of OCD.” I love having my things organized and just being in this room is suffocating me. I need to do something!

Logan laughed and handed me a black bag as he did the same. Aimee sat on her bed with a look on her face telling me she’s not really with us right now. Hopefully she’s not

thinking of the piece of shit who turned her into this.

When my bag was full of glass bottles, Logan and I headed into the elevator and walked over to the trash room. “Is she okay?” I asked him. “Like mentally?” We’re all a little

crazy, I just want to know if it’s official.

He chuckled and glanced at me. Those blues searched my face again and I was left wondering why he keeps doing that. Like I’m some puzzle he wants to piece together. That won’t

ever happen. I’m too f*cked up. Too jagged. My pieces will never fit.

“Yeah, it’s just her and Victor were like soulmates. They did everything together. I personally didn’t like him but what can I do?” he said shrugging his shoulders and

scratching the back of his head after throwing the trash down the trash chute. When he was done thinking about whatever he was thinking about, he turned to me. “You didn’t have to

clean up.”

“Trust me, I did,” I said, staring at the floor. I should go now. This is awkward. We’re just standing here, next to trash, talking about his kind of psycho sister.

“You’re wet. I can help you with that,” Logan said, his eyes on my chest. I looked down and groaned. I’m covered in Aimee’s tears. Seriously? I was a human tissue.

“Why does everything that comes out of your mouth sound like a sexual innuendo?” I asked.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said walking past me to open the door. He has every idea.

“So, I have to go. Tell Aimee she’ll find someone better,” I said turning my back to him as I walked to the elevators. “And just let her stuff her face.”

“You’re not staying?” he asked, reaching out to grab my arm. He must have noticed the look I gave him over my shoulder because he stopped midway and dropped it to his side.

“No, I have to be somewhere.”

“Where?”

“None of your goddamn business.”

“Cold hearted, huh?”

“Yeah.”

I walked down the hallway and got into the elevator. Logan appeared at the doors but didn’t stick a hand out to stop the doors from closing. He just stood a few feet across from me

with a look in his eyes. I know he’s trying to figure me out again. He should stop.

I’m not worth being looked into.

I dropped my eyes to the floor as I leaned against the elevator wall. I will not look at him. I will not look at him.