Dear Heart, You Screwed Me(57)

“Oh Connie, that is amazing. Childhood sweethearts,” I placed my hand over my heart, feeling the thump against my chest. Suddenly, sadness ripped through me. My smile that was once there had now faded.

“Reese?” The concern in Connie’s voice choked me.

“I’m sorry, I’m fine,” I nodded, blinking the sting away that was threatening behind my eyes.

“You’re not fine.”

I sniffed, wiping my nose with the sleeve of my jumper.

“Talk to me,” she coaxed, her voice soft as she moved closer to me, her hand on my thigh.

Nibbling on the inside of my lip, my eyes fell to my lap. My fingers locked together, my heart raced under my skin.

“Reese,” she whispered.

Looking up at the ceiling, I tried to blink away my tears. I tried to ignore the poignant burn that was in my throat. But I couldn’t.

“It’s just, um…” I sniffed, my head slowly dropping forward as I looked at her.

“You’re scaring me.”

“I lost my first love, Elijah.” I whispered, the tears rolling down my cheeks before slipping off my chin. She knew he died, but she didn’t know what happened. “Two years ago, Elijah died while on his way home from a job interview.” I could barely talk, the crushing weight in my chest was overpowering. “He just collapsed at the wheel; I was told there would have been no pain.” I sniffed. My eyesight blurry as the tears cascaded down my face. “It took a while for it to sink in, I just couldn’t believe he was gone. We were childhood sweethearts, engaged to be married, planning our future, our family…” I choked, inhaling deeply as I tried to calm myself down. I had done so well without the tears, but now it was as if the flood gates had opened and I couldn’t stop.

“Oh,” I heard Connie sob, launching herself at me, wrapping her arms tightly around my shoulders as she held me while I sobbed. No words were exchanged, they weren’t needed.

She just comforted me. And that’s all I needed and wanted.

I needed my friend.





The days were rolling into one; my workdays were hectic, my evenings were quiet which is what I needed.

“What are you doing for Christmas?” Connie asked as we walked aimlessly round the busy shops.

“My mum and dad are flying over, what about you?” I asked, picking up a peter pan collared red jumper, holding it up.

“Just with my mums, seeing as I was with dad on thanksgiving, I’ll be with them.” She nodded towards the top, “I like it, it’s cute,” she smiled.

I held onto the jumper as we continued walking.

“What are your traditions?” Connie asked.

“Christmas Eve?”

“Yeah.”

“Erm,” I stalled for a moment, blinking. “Well, back home we spend the day baking with Christmas music playing, then we cosy down with The Santa Clause and drink hot chocolate before getting tucked up in bed.” A laugh bubbled out of me.

“That’s cute,” she smiles as she picks up a gold, sequin number.

“What about you?”

“We all share one present each, then we go for a walk round times square and take in the ambience. Then it’s back home for wine, Chinese and bed ready for the big, fat man.” She winks, holding the dress up against her slender, lean body.

“I like it. And I love the dress, buy it,” I nod at her.

“Why don’t you and your parents spend Christmas eve with us? It’ll be lovely,” Connie asks as she lays the dress over her forearm and continues browsing.

“Let me see what they say, if that’s okay? They get in on the twenty-third and I know my mum is going to be drama with the jet lag,” I laugh.

“Okay, that’s cool. But I hope you can make it,” she shrugs, and for some reason it pulls on my heart. “How was work this week?” she asks as we continue our walk around.

“Eugh, hell,” I sigh, “I honestly think I’ll quit; I can’t stand her. She treats me like dirt, your dad gives in to her every demand…” I stick my finger down the back of my throat and pretend to gag.

“That’s Adele.”

“Well Adele can get fucked.” Pulling my finger out and flipping the shop around me off, I heard a deep rumble of a laugh come from behind me.

Killian.

I felt my skin erupt in goosebumps, my heart thumping in my chest, the air sucking out of my lungs. Connie spun round, her long, brown ponytail swishing against my arm as she did.

“Dad! What are you doing here?” Connie’s surprised voice echoed.

“Just thought I would pop in; I saw your location on my phone app,” I can hear the smile in his voice even though I haven’t turned round.

I inhaled deeply.

“Of course, you did, weirdo.” Connie smirked.

“Reese?” Killian asked, letting out my breath I spun around.

“Oh, hey,” I smiled, waving awkwardly.

His delicious smile spread across his face.

“Can I have a word?” he asked, his voice lower now. “It’s a work thing, I know it’s the weekend but it’s really important…” I could see the hope in his eyes.

I felt Connie’s eyes on me, before they moved back to her dad.