Dear Heart, You Screwed Me(55)

Tapping out of the subway, I walked home in the arctic weather. We were meant to be getting snow here over night and I was excited. I couldn’t remember the last time we had snow in December back home in England.

Nodding my head to a near frozen Frank, I stepped into the warm apartment lobby and headed for the lift. I always get nervous walking into the building now knowing that I could cross paths with Killian at any moment. He had kept his distance, and as much as I may be hurting a little, it was needed.

The distance will only shut down the feelings that I feel for him. It was just a crush, but then again, I don’t even think it was a crush. Just a sexual connection.

Like petrol and fire.

Burn well together but only to cause cataclysmic damage.

Unwrapping my scarf and letting it hang, I dropped my long, puffy black jacket from my shoulders and hung it up over the top of my scarf. I felt frozen to my bones. Checking the time on my phone, I still had an hour before Connie came over. I wanted a hot bath and I needed to video call my parents. It felt like it had been forever. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I held my phone up waiting for it to connect.

“Reese, mi amor!” My dad beams into the phone.

“Hey papa,” I smile, but it doesn’t quite meet my eyes like it normally would.

“Qué equivocado, mi el amor?” his brows furrowed, the look of worry etching his face.

“I’m fine pap, honestly dad. Just work, it’s kicking my arse.”

“Well don’t get too stressed out, work is meant to be enjoyable, you should work to live, not live to work.” A small smile pressed into his lips.

He was right.

“I know,” I puffed out, “it’s just my boss promised a promotion if I got Harlen on the books. I got Harlen on the books and still no promotion. Every day I go in to ten tonnes of shit-”

“Language!” my mum scolded. I might be twenty-seven, but I still didn’t like cursing in front of my parents.

“Sorry,” I winced, “ten tonnes of work on my desk. I am basically her personal filing cabinet.”

“I’m sorry Princess,” my dad’s words pull at my heart, the sting pricks behind my eyes as I try to blink away the unwanted tears.

“It’s okay,” I laugh, palming my eyes, “it’s just not what I thought it was going to be, part of me just thinks I should pack up and come home. There is nothing here for me, well, apart from Connie.” I smile, but how long would I have her once she found out about me and her dad?

“You are not coming home Reese!” my mum shouted in the background, banging and clattering round. I saw my dad look to the side before the phone was ripped from his hand. “You listen to me Reese Gloria Hernández, you are not getting on a plane and coming back home. We miss you; we do. But you have so much more to aspire to out there. Don’t come back to settle for working with me and your dad. You deserve so much more.” Her voice softened considerably now, “Don’t give up because of some bitch. Go in there and show her what you’re capable of, and if she doesn’t pull though, fuck her off.”

I snorted a laugh, wiping the stray tear that had escaped and rolled down my cheek. My mum hardly swore unless something really got to her, and I guess Adele got to her. I mean, she got to me. She was like thrush; a fucking irritant.

“Don’t stop following your dream because of one person,” she smiled, her own eyes glistening.

Truth was, it wasn’t just one person. It was two.

“I won’t,” I sighed. She was nattering away when I heard the buzzer go, making me jump.

“Who’s that?” mum asked.

“Connie…” I looked at the time on my phone, my brows digging in, “I think…” she was early. Connie was never early.

“Go on love, I’ll speak to you tomorrow.”

“Okay Mum, bye, love to you and Dad.” I blew a kiss into the phone at my parents before cutting it off and throwing it on the bed.

Skipping to the door, I swung it open to see Killian.

Not today Satan.

Shoving the door shut, I slipped the chain across.

“Go away, Killian!” I shout through the door.

“Reese, please,” he begged, I felt my heart clench for a second before my walls were back up.

“Nope,” I replied, turning my back and walking towards my bedroom, slamming the door.

Take that Killian Hayes.

I wasn’t giving in. He was the one that acted like a complete dick when I told him I wanted a baby.

He could have let me down gently; fuck I don’t think I would have cared if he ended it right there with me. But the fact he said nothing, he kept his mouth shut, that’s what hurt the most.

He banged on the door loud, over and over but I didn’t care. He could bang to his little heart’s content. His daughter would be here soon, and he would have to explain why he was like a possessed angry caveman trying to smash my door down.

Awkward.

Padding back to the lounge area, I connected my phone to my Bluetooth and played abcdefu – GAYLE. I turned it up so loud, just in case he didn’t get the message. I danced in front of the door, flipping it off as I sung the song at the top of my lungs.

Shaking my hips, I walked to the fridge and grabbed the bottle of white wine. Biting the rubber cork out the top with my teeth, I took a big mouthful. I wasn’t going to cry over him anymore.