By Virtue I Fall (Sins of the Fathers #3)(79)

“What about the times we met at parties?”

I shrugged, feeling awful. “I just… I didn’t want to tell you about something that didn’t really mean anything.”

Sofia gave me a look that made it clear she thought I was completely insane.

Steps sounded right in front of the door and we fell silent. This was a good reminder that this was the Clark’s house. We weren’t safe here, especially not with a topic as sensitive as this.

“Can we meet for brunch tomorrow?” I asked.

“Of course. Danilo will be busy with meeting anyway. But no more lies, all right?”

I hugged her. “I promise.”





Sofia came over the next morning. Danilo had a meeting with Dad in his office so we could drive to the restaurant together. I was glad that she would be in town for a few more days. I needed her support. I’d considered asking Luisa to join us but it would have been too overwhelming to brave both their questions at the same time. I’d meet with her another time to talk about Santino. She was busy with her wedding preparations anyway, so I didn’t want to burden her with my Santino problems.

Sofia and I went to brunch in my favorite place where they served the best Belgian waffles. Of course, Santino drove us there so the ride to the restaurant passed in silence, except for the occasional professional interaction between Santino and Sofia’s bodyguard who sat shotgun.

Santino was clever enough to give us some room and settled far from our table next to the entrance of the bistro.

I nipped at my black coffee and picked at my fruit salad. Next week I’d go wedding dress shopping, so I didn’t want to risk gaining weight. Not to mention that I rarely felt very hungry anymore. The stress with Santino and the upcoming wedding were taking their toll.

Sofia watched me over her waffles then slanted a quick look at Santino who sat at a table with her bodyguard across the room to give us privacy.

“Do you really think you can go through with the wedding?”

Every day I was a little less sure I could, but we were only five months away from the wedding. The location was booked, the invitations had been sent out, catering was booked, even the flowers, cake, and decorations. The only thing missing was my wedding dress, which I’d avoided shopping for so far.

Canceling the wedding now would cause a major backlash. The Clarks would be majorly offended and possibly take it out on the Outfit. Even if their options for revenge were limited, I didn’t want to cause my family or the Outfit any problems. Not to mention that Santino and I would have to admit to our relationship. Dad and Mom would be very displeased to say the very least.

Sofia sighed. “That’s too long a pause, Anna.”

“I have to. I can’t back out now. Clifford isn’t bad. He’s good-looking, intelligent, driven. Those are all good qualities I’ll appreciate in a marriage.”

“Maybe. Or maybe you’ll resent him because he cost you the love of your life.”

I rolled my eyes. “That’s a bit melodramatic. I never said I was in love with Santino. We slept together these last three years but we aren’t in a real relationship.” Then I shrugged. “Maybe Clifford will divorce me after a few years, then I’m free.”

“I doubt he’ll risk his career by having a divorce early on, and entering a marriage and hoping for a quick divorce is not a good option. And Santino will probably be married by then as well.”

The thought of Santino marrying someone cut me. Of course, I wanted him to be happy but losing him to another woman was incredibly painful. Still, I couldn’t keep holding him back. That wouldn’t be fair toward him.

Sofia sighed. “Think about it. Don’t rush into things because of a wrong understanding of duty. Your parents would understand.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You really think my parents would be understanding when I told them Santino and I have been getting it on for years behind their backs?”

Sofia let out a choked laugh. “They’ll probably be a bit angry, especially toward Santino.”

“I’m not sure I want to risk it all. Who says Santino and I would even be happy if we could be together? There’s no guarantee. It would be selfish of me to risk a huge scandal for the small chance that Santino and I are meant to be.”

Sofia shrugged, still not convinced. “Maybe then your feelings for him really aren’t strong enough and it’s for the best if you give him the chance to move on, so you too can move on with Clifford.”





Santino stayed in the car in front of the store when I went to my first appointment in the bridal store with Mom, Sofia, and Luisa. Only Sofia’s bodyguard joined us inside because Danilo was always particularly vigilant.

“I thought you’d design your own dress,” Sofia said when I browsed through the dresses on display.

I’d always thought so too, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t feel inspired in the slightest.

Mom joined me and motioned at a beautiful classic dress with lace. “I think you’d look beautiful in this.”

It was actually one of my favorites from the dresses I’d seen so far.

“I’ll try it on.”

Thirty minutes later we emerged from the bridal store, and I’d chosen the dress Mom had suggested. It was beautiful, elegant, and made me feel beautiful.