By Virtue I Fall (Sins of the Fathers #3)(81)

Instead, I helped him by lifting my feet. He neatly folded the flimsy piece of clothing and put it down on the ground beside him. Then he reached under my dress again, gripping my ass and his head dove under the skirt. His tongue dove between my folds.

I sank my teeth into my lower lip, my hands coming to rest on his head through the layers of my skirt. The vendor wouldn’t come back unless I asked her but this was still risky, pure madness, and felt wrong on a level I couldn’t put into words.

I watched myself in the mirror, the hazy lust in my eyes, my heaving chest and rosy cheeks. Then my gaze dropped to Santino’s half-hidden form—hidden beneath my wedding dress. A bitter smile twisted my mouth. Many years ago, I’d condemned Santino and the cheating wives for what they did, and today I let Santino eat me out in my wedding dress, only one month before my wedding. Was I really that different?

Maybe he hadn’t cared if I had other men before our wedding but I doubted he’d be happy to find out I’d fucked another man in the panties and dress I’d chosen for our wedding. I shoved the thought aside. I didn’t want to think about it now.

Santino graced my clit with his teeth, making me gasp. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking about Cliffy while I lick your pussy.”

Not in the way he suggested. I’d probably imagine Santino for the rest of my life when Clifford and I were intimate.

“Don’t stop,” I said softly, almost pleadingly.

Santino breathed out before he slipped his tongue along my slit once more. We didn’t talk anymore and Santino’s mouth and tongue were almost careful and reverent in their exploration. This felt like a goodbye. Would every sex feel like goodbye now? Every touch soaked in wistfulness?

Santino’s finger brushed my lower lips apart while his lips cupped my clit gently. Only the tip of his finger teased my opening, slowly circling it. I clung to his head desperately, but never took my eyes off my reflection.

“Santino,” I whispered. He answered my breathy plea with a deep thrust of his finger and soon established a slow, steady rhythm that matched his lips around my clit.

“Please,” I whispered. I’d never begged for an orgasm, and this felt like I was asking for much more.

Santino slipped a second finger into me at the same time as he sucked my clit hard.

I came with a small shudder, my hips rocking slightly.

“This wasn’t the firework I’d planned,” Santino said as he pulled out from under my dress. His hair was disheveled, his lips shiny and face red from lack of oxygen.

Santino stood then leaned down to press a kiss to my lips, allowing me to taste myself. I began to sink down to give back but Santino’s hands on my arms stopped me.

My brows pulled together.

“I’ll make a mess of your dress, and I think we should stop now. Fuck, you’re almost married and in this dress, you might as well already be.”

“I’m not married yet, Santino. Clifford and I always had an agreement that everything that happened before we married wasn’t cheating. He had plenty of girls, so he definitely can’t be angry at me for being with you.”

Santino shook his head, his dark eyes fixing me. “I could never share you if you’d been promised to me. I’d burn up with jealousy. I’d have to kill every man who touched you.”

“But in four weeks, you’ll share me with Clifford.” I wasn’t sure why I said it. I’d never meant to become a cheater, and I didn’t think I had it in me. Maybe if Clifford agreed on an open relationship where we both had other partners, but cheating?

Santino shook his head again. “No, I won’t.”

“No?”

“This will stop once you’re married, Anna. Maybe even before then if I can stop wanting you more than air. I can’t fucking do this anymore. You want Clifford. That’s fine. You try to do what’s best for your family, and I’ll do what’s best for me. Clifford has his own bodyguards and your father agreed to pick someone else for your additional protection.”

“You won’t be my bodyguard anymore?” Cold settled in my bones and a panic I couldn’t explain. Somehow I’d hoped he’d keep guarding me because he’d given up his job as Enforcer for me. I’d been naive and maybe tried to protect my heart from the harsh reality of our future.

“No.”

The word echoed between us. Santino stared into my eyes, and I could feel his determination but also a deep ache I only knew too well.

I nodded and touched his shoulders. We looked at each other. “You’re right. Maybe we should stop now.”

“We should.” Santino took a step back and my chest constricted so tightly, I was worried I’d faint.

I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. “I need to get ready now.”

Santino nodded, his expression becoming the one I remembered from the past. A little condescending and hard. “Don’t forget to give your panties a good wash before the wedding.”

I reacted in turn. “I’m sure Clifford won’t mind if I don’t wear any underwear.”

Santino turned and left.

The door fell shut behind him. I grabbed the mirror frame, needing to steady myself. I felt like a hole had opened up in front of me and wanted to suck me in. I had half a mind to let it.