By Virtue I Fall (Sins of the Fathers #3)(75)

Santino’s eyes cut into me with their intensity. He raked his hands through my hair. “This will add another layer to our betrayal.”

“Does it really matter?” I whispered. Mom and Dad would be disappointed either way if they ever found out, which they wouldn’t. “Let’s be each other’s secret for however long we can.”

“I never minded being someone’s dirty secret, but I really wish I wasn’t yours.”

“It’s all we can have.”





My hands were sweaty when I entered the Clark mansion with Mom, Dad, and Leonas. Dolora celebrated her fiftieth birthday and of course, we were all invited. It was the first time I’d see Clifford again, which made me feel unreasonably anxious, especially because Dad had chosen to take Santino with us and not Enzo.

Clifford and his mother greeted us while his dad was busy talking to a couple of senators. Dolora hugged me briefly, which felt awkward, especially when her gaze cut to Santino right after. Did she think he’d give her a special birthday present?

He wouldn’t.

Right?

Were we still exclusive? Or had our kind-of-break-up in Paris changed things?

The mere thought that Santino might touch another woman made me see red. Clifford stepped up in front of me, forcing my attention toward him. A brief moment of awkwardness followed, which Clifford cut short by leaning down and kissing my cheek. It was a brief peck, nothing that screamed couple, but it still made me feel guilty because Santino had to watch it.

From the corner of my eye, I saw him walk across the room to take up position there, his eyes expression stone, but his eyes burned with jealousy.

“How are things?” Clifford asked with a polite smile. He seemed less boyish than I remembered, calmer and more confident, and not just because he was dressed in a posh suit.

“Good,” I said, accepting his extended elbow. He led me toward the buffet.

“Will he cause trouble?”

He didn’t have to elaborate, it was plainly clear whom he meant. I allowed myself the briefest glance toward Santino who was scanning the room in a professional manner.

“No, why would he?”

“Will any of the girls you dated in the last few years cause any trouble?”

“Hardly.”

“See,” I said with a firm smile. “Everything is good.”





I would have never thought I’d wish to be back in Paris. I’d missed Chicago, and I was glad to be back in my city, but being here meant I could no longer be with Anna. Now we had to sneak behind everyone’s back to catch a moment of privacy.

I’d always enjoyed the thrill of being caught. I’d gotten off on how dirty the sex felt when it was forbidden. But for some messed-up reason, I didn’t want sex with Anna to feel dirty and forbidden. I wanted people to know that she was mine and that I fucked her.

Of course, what I wanted and what I did were two very different things, and so I stood off to the side at a party in the Clark’s mansion and watched Anna. Luckily, she and Clifford weren’t attached to the hip. Seeing them together always made me feel murderous. Anna was busy talking to Clifford’s sisters while he was talking to another politician’s daughter.

“Santino,” a familiar voice said and Dolora appeared by my side. “I’m heading out into the gardens for a little stroll. Why don’t you catch some fresh air as well?”

I didn’t look her way. “I’m fine where I am. You need to find someone else to catch fresh air with. I’m no longer on the market.”

“You have someone?”

“Yes.”

The word left my lips without hesitation. Even though I knew I couldn’t keep Anna in the long run, I had her now and I didn’t want anyone else. For however long, I’d have her, I’d be faithful.

“Good for her,” she said with a shrug then sauntered off.

I caught Anna’s gaze from across the room. Of course, she’d watched me talking to Dolora. It gave me satisfaction to know that she was jealous.

She gave me a quick smile before she returned her focus to her conversation. I dragged my eyes away and noticed Clifford leaving the room. The girl he’d been talking to was gone too.

Twenty minutes later, the girl returned and a couple of minutes later Clifford followed. I headed his way when I noticed his fly was still open and a hint of makeup stained his white shirt. “How about you head to the restroom and clean up before anyone notices anything?” I growled. He glanced down at his shirt and gave me a tight smile before he left.

Anna appeared at my side with a too-bright smile. I hated those fake smiles she put on whenever she was around Clifford’s family. Of course, she’d noticed how Clifford had left with that girl. I didn’t like how he disrespected her openly, which didn’t even make sense, considering Anna was getting it on with me as well.

Anna motioned at the French door. “I need some fresh air.”

I nodded and followed her outside. When she turned to me, I knew she had other things in mind than clearing her head. She took a step closer and gave me a coy smile. “How about we get naughty in the pool house?”

“Is this to pay Clifford back or because you’re horny?”

“Does it matter?”

It did. The thought that Anna felt the kind of jealousy over Clifford that I felt for her made feel like shit. Damn it. When I didn’t say anything, she whispered, “I’m horny, okay? We haven’t had time for each other in almost a week.”