By Virtue I Fall (Sins of the Fathers #3)(34)

“What’s that?”

“A beautiful part of Paris up on a hill. You’ll love it.”

She nodded gravely, then held out her pig. “This is for you.”

I took it. “For me?”

“So you’ll remember me in Paris.”

“But it’s your favorite.”

She nodded again, looking even more serious. “I want you to have it so you won’t forget me.”

“Bea, I could never forget you. I’ll call often and I’ll send you pretty clothes so we can match even if we’re not in the same city.”

She beamed up at me. “Will you come back for my birthday?”

“I’ll come back even before that. I have a long list of events I’m still supposed to attend, so you’ll see me very often.”

“Okay,” she said, sounding slightly mollified. “Can we watch Peppa Pig together?”

It was almost seven-thirty, Bea’s bedtime, but I agreed anyway. We settled on the bed together, Bea snuggled up against my side. I opened an episode of Peppa Pig on my iPad. We had already watched it a while ago, but I doubted there was a single episode we hadn’t watched at least twice. Mom poked her head in a few minutes later, probably wanting to bring Bea to bed.

My little sister had fallen asleep beside me.

Mom smiled, her eyes glistening.

“Don’t get emotional,” I whispered.

She smiled apologetically as she crept closer to us and perched on the edge of the bed. “I’ll bring her to her room.”

“Let her sleep here.” It had been a while since she’d spent the night in my bed. Mainly because she was a restless sleeper and I couldn’t sleep with her kicking and turning all night. But tonight, I wanted to hold her close.

Mom nodded, then kissed Bea’s and my forehead before she left. I actually had to push back tears. I hadn’t thought I’d feel overly emotional leaving Chicago and my family behind. Not because I didn’t love them or enjoy being with them, but because I was looking forward to experiencing something new.

And it wasn’t as if I’d be alone in Paris. I’d always have Santino by my side. Though, if he kept up his sour mood, that would probably not be the most pleasant experience.





Dad had come over to my apartment to say goodbye the night before my flight to Paris. Now he was watching me pack my suitcase with an air of silent disapproval that he was a master at.

“You know what I think about this. My opinion hasn’t changed,” Dad said while I tried to shove another pair of pants into my already crammed suitcase. We were of course flying first class so I could have taken three suitcases with me, but I was too lazy to pack that much and so I chose to cram as much stuff as possible into a single piece of luggage.

“You haven’t held back your opinion, Dad. And you know I agree with you. I don’t want to go and it’s most likely a bad idea, but as I keep telling you, I don’t have a choice.”

“We always have a choice.”

I sighed, giving up on fitting the pants into the suitcase. “Yes, we do. But sometimes the choice is only between pest and cholera.”

“I could go in your stead. Valentina and Dante trust me. They’ll let me watch Anna.”

Anna would do everything in her power to prevent that. She wanted me in Paris with her, and in usual Anna fashion, she’d find a way to get her will. “Frederica needs you here. You’ll have to make sure she doesn’t forget to live.”

“She’s busy, and you know she won’t listen to me. She’s eighteen now and with the path she’s chosen, I can’t interfere.”

“You could arrange a marriage for her and ignore her choice.”

Dad shook his head. “Not a single priest would agree to do the ceremony.”

I sank down on my bed and allowed myself one last look around the apartment. I’d bought it only last year from my savings. I’d felt proud having my own place that I’d bought with my hard hard-earned money. Dad had offered to give me money so I could buy a place sooner, but I’d wanted to do it myself. Now I’d leave my home behind to watch Anna 24/7. I’d never felt the desire to travel the world, to uproot my life and live somewhere else. Chicago was my home. I’d grown up in those streets, knew almost every corner, even the most notorious ones. I fucking loved going to the same coffee shop every morning where I knew the barista’s entire family history, I loved going to my favorite restaurant and being able to order food without looking at the menu because I knew it by heart. Anna was different. She wanted to experience new things, wanted to roam the world.

Now she was dragging me along. She didn’t care if I wanted this or not. For her, it was a game. She didn’t care if I couldn’t risk playing her game. Of course, part of it was my fucking fault. The kiss we’d shared had definitely sent her the wrong message. Now she would be even more determined to push my buttons, and Paris was the perfect place for that.

I had sworn myself not to fall trap to her mind fuckery again. I had plenty of self-control in general. In the last few months, I’d reinforced my walls, had been as professional around Anna as humanly possible, had let out whatever pent-up energy I had in the gym or with one of the lonely wives who wanted dick.

Anna had respected the new boundaries I’d set, which could mean only one thing: she was waiting for a better time to attack, and I knew exactly when that would be. In Paris, the goddamn city of love. What bullshit.