By Virtue I Fall (Sins of the Fathers #3)(33)

I climbed onto the sill beside him, even if I wasn’t too fond of the prospect of falling to my death.

“You aren’t supposed to smoke,” I said with a smirk.

Leonas blew smoke into my face, making me cough. “You really wanna play who’s more in trouble with Dad?”

“As of now, I’m not in trouble. I’ve been good as far as Dad knows.” I held out my hand. “Give me a cigarette.”

He fumbled for one in the pack balancing on his thigh then gave it to me with that annoying knowing smile. “Yeah, you’re better at hiding your trouble-seeking ways.”

I shoved it into my mouth. “To be fair, you aren’t even trying to play the good kid most days.”

Leonas shrugged. “Dad’s stricter with me anyway.”

“Comes with being a boy,” I said around the cigarette in my mouth.

“Santino hates when you smoke.”

“I know, but he’s not here now, is he,” I said. “Now shut up and give me fire.”

He lit up my cigarette. “Bitch.”

“Asshole.” I smiled sweetly, took a deep drag then coughed.

Leonas shook his head. “You’re just doing it to piss him off.”

“And you’re doing half the shit you’re up to, to piss Dad off.” I leaned my head on his shoulder. “Let me have some fun.” I took another, even deeper pull, coughed even harder, and handed the cigarette to Leonas who put it in his mouth as well. He looked ridiculous with the two smokes in his mouth. Only the brainless groupies crushing on him would think his quirks were cool. “You can have all the fun you want for all I care. Mom and Dad probably won’t see it that way though.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t tell.”

“Works for me, sis.”

I grinned then took another drag. I never really liked smoking. Leonas was right, in the beginning, I did it to piss Santino off. Now it’s become a stupid habit whenever I’m anxious.

“You realize Dad will hunt Santino down if he finds out there’s something going on between you.”

“Shut up. What are you talking about? There’s nothing going on between us.”

“Sure. I’ll ask you again in a few months.”

“Stay out of my love life.”

“You don’t have one.”

I glared. “Well, I have every intention of changing that.”

“Good luck with that.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “As my brother, you should tell me to stay away from men. You’re not doing a good job being the overprotective Made Man.”

“I’ll protect you from real dangers, don’t worry, but I sure as fuck won’t protect your hymen, sis.”

I grimaced. “Do me a favor and never say that word again.”

“I’m having fun, so why shouldn’t you? Clifford isn’t waiting for marriage either.”

“You know most people in the Outfit won’t see it that way. If they find out, I lost it to anyone but my husband there’ll be a scandal.”

“I’ll make sure to cause an even bigger scandal to distract them from you.”

I laughed. “I’m sure you’d succeed.”





The following weeks and months passed in a blink, and before I knew it, I’d attended my last two social events in January, Dad’s and Danilo’s birthdays. Wistfulness caught me by surprise when I closed my suitcase one day before I’d leave for Paris. This was it. Tomorrow I’d leave Chicago and my family behind for months, possibly years. If all went to plan, I’d be gone for three years.

My stomach flipped with nerves.

I’d never been separated from my family for that long. A weekend in our lake house had been the extent of it. Suddenly, I was terrified. I was used to having a tight-knit family and always someone to talk to. In the future, I’d have to pick up a phone, and that meant being careful what I said because you never knew who was listening. I swallowed. Of course, there would be Santino… but he and I weren’t really on speaking terms right now. I had every intention to change that in Paris, but I wasn’t sure if our relationship would ever reach a level that would make me feel comfortable sharing problems with him.

A soft knock rang out.

“Come in,” I called but nothing happened. Instead another soft knock sounded. I got up and went over to the door. I found Bea’s little face looking up at me when I opened the door. She held her favorite stuffed animal in her arms, a pink pig called Peppa. I’d watched too many episodes of the series with her to feel the same joy seeing the well-loved toy as Bea did.

“Can I come in?” Bea asked with a sweet smile. I opened the door wide. “Of course.”

Bea tiptoed in almost shyly, regarding my suitcases warily. She bit her lower lip, clutching Peppa Pig even closer.

“Is everything all right?” I asked, getting down on my haunches in front of my little sister.

“I don’t want you to go. I’ll miss you too much.”

Tears sprang into my eyes. I hugged her tightly. When I’d made plans to go to Paris, I hadn’t thought about what that would mean for Bea. She was only five. I’d miss so much of her growing up while I was gone. I pulled back and pushed her blonde hair out of her eyes. “I’ll come visit often. And maybe you can visit me in Paris as well. Then we can go to the Eiffel Tower and have hot chocolate in one of the artsy cafés near Montmartre.”