Between Hello and Goodbye(49)

“I had a mishap at Ho’opi’i,” I said. “Asher came to my rescue.”

He saved me and ruined me at the exact same time.

“Oh,” Chloe said, her smile tight. “I’m so glad he was there for you.”

“Yes, he’s been great, showing me around the island, but I’m leaving on Sunday.”

Then he’s all yours.

Suddenly, I felt sick, and the sun was too hot, and I had a crazy urge to get up and run away.

“Ash?” Morgan chuckled but stared meaningfully at his brother who still hadn’t said a word. “You with us?”

“Yeah,” Asher said, releasing his brother from his death glare. “Aloha, Momi.” He knelt beside her chair and took her frail hands in his strong ones. “How are we doing here? Better?”

“Better,” she said. “The new medicine you arranged for me is very good. I’ll be playing piano again before we know it.”

He smiled, but concern lurked in his brown eyes. “Tell me if there are any side—”

“Yes, yes,” she waved him away. “Let’s not neglect your guest with boring talk about an old lady’s arthritis. Faith, would you like some lunch? I brought homemade saimin noodle soup.”

All eyes turned to me, and I felt like I’d wandered into this school by mistake, took a seat at the wrong table with a family that wasn’t mine and a man I couldn’t keep.

“No, thank you,” I murmured and got to my feet. “I’m not hungry and I…I have to go.”

Morgan frowned. “Go? Already?”

“I should. I-I’m sorry.”

“I’ll take you,” Asher said automatically.

Kaleo pouted. “You just got here, Uncle Ash.”

“He can stay,” I said, aiming the words at Asher with a pointed look. “I’ll find my way back.”

“I’ll take you,” he repeated, his own hard glance telling me that arguing with him was useless.

I turned away from the pained look in his eyes that mirrored mine and addressed the family. “It was so great meeting you all. Thank you for your hospitality.”

“Lovely to meet you, Faith,” Nalani said, coming around to hug me. “I hope you’ll consider coming back and visiting us again very soon.”

“You’re welcome here any time,” Morgan said. He kissed my cheek and gave me a hug. “Any time.”

“Faith, wait!” Kal jumped up to stand in front of me. “My birthday is next month. I’m going to be eight. Can you come to my party?”

My eyes stung with sudden tears as I ruffled his hair. “I don’t think so. But thank you for the invitation. I hope you have the best time at your party.” I turned to Momi, and though I barely knew the woman, I bent down and kissed her cheek. “Aloha, Momi.”

“Aloha, Faith.” She patted my hand with her gnarled one. “A hui hou kakou. Until we meet again.”

Lord have mercy.

I turned quickly, flashed Chloe a smile, and limped away as fast as I was able. I heard Asher mutter his goodbyes, then he caught up to me.

“Faith—”

“I wasn’t prying,” I said, not looking at him as we made our way across the grass. The uneven terrain made my ankle ache, but I wasn’t about to stop for anything.

“What are you talking about?”

“I didn’t ask about when you were kids. Morgan started talking.”

Asher’s lips made a line. “I know. That’s what he does. But…Jesus, Faith, can you slow down before you hurt yourself? Talk to me—”

We’d arrived at the front of the school, and I stopped and whirled on him.

“Why? What do you want me to say, Asher? You don’t want me to know your whole story or see where you live, but we can fuck all night long and—”

“No, that’s not it,” he shot back. “I…I’m pissed at Morgan because it’s easier than feeling whatever the hell I’m feeling now. That’s all. And it’s not like you’ve spilled your guts to me about your childhood or—”

“Because there’s nothing to tell! It sucked, my parents are awful and…”

And I had no clue what having a real family felt like. But that didn’t mean I needed to hijack Asher’s.

I shook my head. “Look, I don’t have the first clue what I’m doing either, but I’m leaving in two days so I shouldn’t be sitting there, listening to private stories of your past with your beloved grandmother and your sweet little nephew…” I swallowed hard. “I…I don’t belong here.” Tears were gathering but I refused to cry over him or any man. I heaved a steadying breath. “It’s all gotten too personal and too messy. I think we both need to admit that it was a mistake and…say our goodbyes now.”

He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Christ.”

“Go back to the picnic. Be with Kal. Be with Chloe. I think she’d like that.”

His eyes flared. “Fucking hell, Faith, really?”

“She’s pretty and she likes you, and you and I aren’t…anything.”

His pained expression dropped like a mask and he stiffened. “Right,” he said stonily. “We’re not anything.”