Between Hello and Goodbye(47)

“It’s okay. Want to talk about it?”

Chloe was twenty-four, pretty, and single, which, on this tiny island, had always made her a prime candidate in Morgan’s eyes to break me out of bachelorhood. But while I liked Chloe for being so good with Kal, I’d never entertained the idea of starting something with her. Having a one-night stand with my nephew’s third grade teacher would put me firmly in lowlife territory and I wasn’t interested in a commitment.

You sure about that? I thought and my gaze itched to find Faith.

“Nah. I’m good,” I said finally. “I was just going to—”

“Uncle Ash! Miss Barnes!” Kaleo ran up and threw his arms around Chloe’s waist.

She laughed and knelt down to speak eye to eye. “Aloha, Kal. Having fun?”

“The best!” He looked to me. “Mama said she has more tickets for me. Let’s go! You too, Miss Barnes.”

I chuckled at his manic, sugar-fueled energy. “Come here, dude.” I lifted him up on my shoulders and wrapped my arms around his legs. Chloe smiled softly and walked close beside me.

“You’re so good with him,” she said. “How have you been? It’s been a while.”

“I’ve been busy. Long shifts.”

“I’m always available to swing by with something to eat,” she said. “Something homecooked. Don’t want you always resorting to fast food when you’re working.”

My glance slid to her and back. It wasn’t the first time she’d offered. “You don’t have to, Chloe.”

“I don’t have to. I want to.”

She peered up at me, her smile pretty but with none of Faith’s wit behind it. No fire in her eyes, only mild warmth. She was a Level One burn—low intensity, light mop up, little damage.

But Faith…

Faith’s a Level Six, five alarm, code red inferno.

Chloe’s hand on my arm broke me out of my thoughts. “What’s that smile for?” Her gaze was demure and flirty at the same time. “Something I said?”

“What? No, I—”

“There they are!” Kal announced from his high vantage.

I looked to see Faith, wearing my shirt and sitting among my family, and couldn’t deny my goddamn heart felt like it was waking up from a long hibernation.

Chloe touched my arm again. “You seem a little out of it today. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Sorry, just tired.”

Because I’d gotten little sleep last night. Because I’d been tangled with Faith in a heated frenzy and never wanted it to end.

But it was ending and well past time I got the fucking message before whatever I was feeling ran uncontained and out of my control .





Chapter Twelve



I left Asher with Morgan to walk with Nalani, my firefighter’s face drawn tight. We needed to talk—I knew it, and he clearly knew it, but I guessed I wasn’t sufficiently self-improved to trust myself with that conversation. There were a million feelings boiling in me—upsetting and thrilling and scary as hell and all running into the same brick wall: I was leaving. What was the point of talking about anything?

I’ll just keep having sex with him until an hour before my flight.

Except today was his last day off and I’d be long gone by the time he was free again.

“God…”

Nalani turned. “You okay?”

I forced a smile. “Peachy.”

We’d arrived at the picnic table strewn with the remnants of lunch. An older woman sat at the end in a wheelchair wearing a multicolored dress over a thin, frail frame. Her fingers were gnarled and crooked with arthritis, but her dark eyes were sharp and her smile warm as we approached.

“Momi, this is Faith Benson. She’s a friend of Asher’s.”

“Aloha, Faith.”

“Alo—um… hi.”

“You can say aloha, my dear.”

“Can I?” I said, sitting beside her. “Given my colonizer status, it feels a little bit like cultural appropriation, even if it’s just hello or goodbye.”

Momi chuckled. “It’s an aspect of Hawaiian culture I wish was appropriated more. “Hello. Goodbye.” She shook her head. “There is no equivalent in English that captures such profound emotion.”

“Momi is mana wahine,” Nalani said with a proud smile. “A powerful woman. A keeper of traditions.”

I could see that. I could feel that. The woman seemed to contain the wisdom of the ages in her slight form, and I suddenly wished that I could sit with her and pour every confused and conflicted thought in her lap.

Momi caught my expression. “Dear?”

“I was just thinking that I’d love to learn more about the islands’ culture. I came here to expand my horizons, so to speak, but the only thing I’ve learned is that I have terrible taste in hiking shoes.”

Except that wasn’t entirely true. I did feel different. More awake and clear-headed than I was in Seattle.

Except where Asher Mackey is concerned.

Momi smiled. “The aloha spirit is the harmony between the mind and heart within us. It asks us to come to ourselves and to extend good feelings toward others. It’s compassion and care with no expectation of return.” Her gaze seemed to dig deeper. “Aloha means to hear what is not said, to see what cannot be seen, to know the unknowable.”