Behind Closed Doors(63)
‘We’re not cancelling the holiday, Grace. As everybody has pointed out, you need a rest.’
‘You’d really let me go on ahead without you?’ I say, knowing he would never allow such a thing.
‘Of course.’
Esther looks at him approvingly. ‘That’s very generous of you, Jack.’
‘Not at all. I mean, why would I deprive my beautiful wife of a holiday just because I can’t go?’
‘I’d be more than happy to keep her company until you arrive,’ Diane offers.
‘Sorry to disappoint you, but I have no intention of not being able to make it,’ Jack tells her, getting to his feet. ‘Grace, I need your help in the kitchen, darling.’
I follow him in, stunned at how wrong everything seems to be going.
‘You don’t seem very keen to go to Thailand,’ he says, handing me candles to stick in the cake. ‘Yet you were the one who suggested it.’
‘It’s just that it doesn’t seem such a good idea with your court case coming up.’
‘So you think it would be better for me to cancel it?’
Blessed relief floods through me. ‘Definitely’.
‘Then do you think Millie will be able to move in with us earlier, next week, for example? In fact, she could even stay behind today and I could drive up and collect her things during the week while she settles into her lovely red bedroom. What do you think, Grace? Shall I go out and suggest it? Or shall we go to Thailand next month?’
‘We’ll go to Thailand next month,’ I say stonily.
‘I thought that’s what you would say. Now, where are the matches?’
It’s hard not to give in to the desperation I feel as I sing ‘Happy Birthday’ along with the others and applaud as Millie blows out her candles. I look around at everybody laughing and joking together and struggle to understand how my life has become a living hell that nobody present could even begin to imagine. If I were to suddenly demand their attention and tell them that Millie is in great danger from Jack, that he intends to keep her locked up in a terrifying room until she goes mad with fear, that he is in reality a murderer who has kept me prisoner for the last fifteen months, nobody would believe it. And what would Jack tell them in return? That he only realised once we were married that I had a history of mental illness, that it only became apparent on our honeymoon when I accused him of keeping me a prisoner in front of a lobby full of people, that the hotel manager, our local doctor and the police would be happy to confirm that I am unbalanced. That the last fifteen months have been a terrible strain on him, especially as he has to accompany me everywhere for fear of what I’ll say in public. Even if Millie were to come to my defence and accuse him of pushing her down the stairs, he would look appalled and say that I must have put the idea into her mind. Why would the people gathered here today believe my version over Jack’s when his sounds so much more plausible?
We eat the cake, drink more champagne. Millie and the children resume their games and the rest of us sit around chatting. I have trouble concentrating, but when I hear Janice saying that she’ll enjoy coming to see Millie in our beautiful house, I seize the chance to make it a reality.
‘Why don’t we fix a date now?’ I turn to the others. ‘And maybe we could take Millie and the children to the music festival and have a picnic there—they seem to be getting along well. Doesn’t it start at the beginning of July?’
‘What a good idea!’ Diane exclaims. ‘And is anybody interested in a trip to the zoo? I’ve promised to take mine as soon as school breaks up.’
‘Millie would love that,’ I say, eager to fill her diary.
‘Before you get carried away, Grace,’ Jack interrupts, ‘I have another surprise for you. Well, for you and Millie actually.’
I feel myself go cold. ‘Another surprise?’
‘Don’t look so worried,’ Moira jokes. ‘Knowing Jack, I’m sure it’ll be something nice.’
‘I didn’t really want to tell you yet,’ Jack says apologetically to me, ‘but, as you’re making all these arrangements for the summer holidays, I think you should know that I’m taking you and Millie to New Zealand, to see your parents.’
‘New Zealand!’ breathes Diane. ‘Gosh, I’ve always wanted to go to New Zealand.’
‘When?’ I stammer.
‘Well, I thought we’d give Millie a few days to settle in and leave around the middle of July,’ he says.
‘But Millie’s meant to be starting work at the garden centre in August,’ I say, wondering what he’s playing at. ‘It’s a long way to go for a couple of weeks.’
‘I’m sure they won’t mind if she starts a week or two later, especially if we explain why.’
‘Don’t you think it’ll be too much for Millie, going to New Zealand so soon after moving in? Surely it would be better to wait until Christmas?’
‘I think she’ll be thrilled,’ Janice intervenes. ‘She’s been dreaming of going since we did a class project on New Zealand, just after your parents moved there.’
‘If I went to New Zealand, I’m not sure I’d want to come back,’ says Diane. ‘It’s meant to be quite beautiful.’
‘That’s one of the dangers, of course,’ agrees Jack. ‘Millie could end up loving it so much that she might ask to stay there permanently, with her parents.’