Behind Closed Doors(67)
I’m surprised how easily we chat on the way to the airport. I was expecting a far more uncomfortable ride, but she seems content to talk about the most ordinary of things. She asks if she and the children can go and see Millie at the weekend, and maybe take her out for tea, and, remembering how well Millie and Aisling got on at the party, I agree gratefully, glad that Millie will have some visitors while I’m away. She asks me to let Janice know that they’ll call by on Sunday and I promise that I will.
We arrive at the airport with fifteen minutes to spare. She drops me off at Departures and leaves me with a cheery wave. I go into the terminal building, find the British Airways counter, check in my case and make my way to the departure lounge. Then I take a seat in the corner and wait for my flight to be called.
PAST
Until the day of Millie’s party, I never really thought I would kill Jack. I’d dreamt about it often enough, but in the cold light of day I baulked at the thought of killing another human being. It was probably why my attempt to stun him with the bottle failed—I’d been too scared to hit him any harder in case I killed him. There was also the fact that if I did kill him, I would almost certainly be sent to prison and be held in custody while I awaited trial, which would be terrible for Millie. So all I wanted was to knock him out long enough for me to be able to escape from him. But the minute he mentioned taking me and Millie to New Zealand, I knew I was going to have to kill him, whatever the consequences, because getting away from him would never be enough.
‘So that’s how you’re going to do it,’ I said bitterly, once we’d waved Millie and Janice off after the party. ‘You’re going to shut up the house, pretend we’ve all gone off to New Zealand, then suddenly reappear on your own and tell everyone that Millie and I have decided to stay over there when, in reality, we’ll be hidden away in the basement.’
‘More or less,’ he confirmed. ‘Except that it’ll be too much trouble to shut up the house and pretend I’m not here so I’ll find an excuse to send the two of you on to New Zealand ahead of me, and in the end I’ll be so delayed it won’t be worth joining you because you’ll be practically on your way back. And then, just as I’m about to leave for the airport to pick you up, I’ll get a tearful call from you saying that Millie refused to get on the plane and that you, torn between loving husband and lunatic sister, didn’t get on the plane either. And loving husband that I am, I’ll tell everybody that because I know how difficult it’s going to be for you to leave Millie behind, I’ve given you permission to stay on a little longer—except the little longer will become a lot longer until one sad day, you tell me you’re never coming back. And because I’m broken-hearted, people won’t dare mention your name to me and, eventually, they’ll forget that you and Millie ever existed.’
‘And my parents?’ I demanded. ‘How will you explain our disappearance to them?’
‘I’ll probably just kill them. Now, get up to your room.’
I turned away from him so that he couldn’t see how much his words had shocked me. Finding a way out—killing Jack—had never seemed more urgent and I knew that if I went back to my room, another opportunity would be lost. It was time to put the next part of my plan into action.
‘Can’t I stay down here for a while?’ I asked.
‘No.’
‘Why not?’
‘You know very well why.’
‘When was the last time I tried to escape? Look at me, Jack! Do you really think you’re in danger from me? Have I done anything except behave as perfectly as possible for the last six months? Do you honestly think that I want to risk going down to the basement?’
‘It’s true that your trips down there seem to have had the desired effect, but, nonetheless, you’ll be going up to your room.’
‘Then could I move into another room?’
‘Why?’
‘Why do you think? Because I need a change of scene, that’s why! I’m fed up looking at the same four walls, day in, day out!’
‘All right.’
I looked at him in surprise. ‘Really?’
‘Yes. Come on, I’ll take you down to the basement and you can look at the four walls there instead. Or do you think that maybe your room isn’t so bad after all?’
‘I think maybe my room isn’t so bad after all,’ I said dully.
‘That’s a shame. You see, I think the room in the basement has been empty for far too long. Shall I let you into a secret?’ He leant down towards me and lowered his voice to a whisper. ‘It was hard, very hard, to let Millie leave just now, much harder than I thought it would be. In fact, it was so hard that I’m going to suggest she moves in as soon as we get back from Thailand. What do you think, Grace? Won’t it be lovely to be one happy family?’
I knew then that not only would I have to kill Jack, I would have to kill him before we left for Thailand. Terrible though it was to realise how little time I had left, having a deadline helped me focus. As I went up the stairs in front of him, I was already planning my next move.
‘When you bring me up my whisky, will you stay and have one with me?’ I asked, as I got undressed.
‘Now why would I want to do that?’
‘Because I’m tired of being cooped up for twenty-four hours a day with no one to talk to,’ I said listlessly. ‘Have you any idea what it’s like? Sometimes I feel as if I’m going mad. In fact, I wish I would.’ I let my voice rise. ‘What would you do then, Jack? What will you do if I go mad?’