Before I Let Go (Skyland #1)(13)

“It’s not an issue.” He looked back toward me and clenched his jaw as he crossed his arms. “Thank you for coming. Adara would like to bathe and sleep, but I’d like for her to have a warm meal first.”

“Of course.” The woman looked at me with a warm smile.

“Adara, this is Mina. Mina, Adara.” Evren looked back and forth between us with his shoulders stiff and his guard up.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mina.”

“Likewise.” She smiled and started to move past Evren, but he bent before she could and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “I’m so glad you’re finally home.” She closed her eyes, and her face softened as she leaned into his touch. “At least for a little bit.”

“It’s nice to be home.” He stood back to his full height. “I missed you.”

“I know, dear boy.” She nodded her head. “I missed you, too.”

They spoke so fondly to one another, and I watched her carefully. This woman was part of his staff, yet she looked at him with more adoration in her eyes than his own mother had. It confused me as the contradiction between what I thought I knew and the truth in front of me collided. She moved past him and headed for the small table in the room, and I tracked her every movement.

“I’ll check on you in a bit,” Evren said as he stood at the door, but I simply nodded as I watched her place the tray down. I swallowed hard and tried not to allow him to see the emotion that was eating me alive as Mina moved toward me. The door closed with a soft click, and we were left alone.

“I brought you some clothes.” She dropped them onto the bed before pressing her hands onto her hips and assessing me from head to toe. “But Evren’s right. You should eat before you do anything else.”

“Have you worked for him long?” The sight of the way they had just embraced, the respect he had shown her, was playing over and over in my mind.

“His whole life.” She smiled softly, like a mother pulling up memories of her child. “That boy has been both a thorn in my side and the light of my days for years.”

She laughed and nodded to the table. “Why don’t you eat?”

“You know he’s leaving again?” I asked the question before I could stop myself. I was desperate to know why I was the only one affected by this news.

She winced, and her aged face turned ashen. “I do.”

I nodded before taking a step away from her and toward the fragrant food that was filling the room and making my stomach ache in hunger.

“I’m not happy about it,” she said softly, and I stopped and turned back to look at her. “Every decision that Evren makes is a choice he’s making for someone else. That boy is selfless in a way that puts himself at harm.”

Her words hit me with a weight that could only be held by the truth, but my anger made everything taste like a lie.

“It’s hard to love someone like that sometimes. To constantly fear for them and pray that your love doesn’t break your own heart. I guess you know a thing or two about that?” She tilted her head and watched me take in her words. She was calculating, sizing me up, but I would leave her wanting.

“I don’t love him.” I shook my head and glanced away from her.

“Don’t you?” She moved past me and busied herself with my food. “I don’t know much about you, Adara. I know that you’ve been blessed by the stars but cursed by Evren’s father. But I also know that loving that boy, if that’s what you choose to do, that would be your biggest blessing of all.”





CHAPTER 5





I had locked myself in my room for two days. Mina was the only one who had been in or out, but I had told her that I wanted to be alone.

Sleep hadn’t cleared my head like I hoped it would. Instead, I felt more lost than ever.

I was haunted by the sound of Evren knocking on my door, of him pleading with me to let him in, when I was screaming at myself to force him out.

I held a warm cup of tea in my hands and pulled my knees to my chest as I stared out the window with a deep ache in my chest. I had a perfect view from my window, and as I opened it, I could hear the bustle of the lively city just beyond the palace walls.

Laughter rang out and met me along with the scent of delicious spices that made my stomach pang with hunger. I watched as a few people walked by, oblivious to me sitting quietly in the window, and I was so shocked by how normal it all seemed.

I was in the Blood Court, a court known for nothing but cruelty and fear, but I saw none of those things here. Not outside of the palace walls at least. The men and women who passed reminded me of home. Of people working and living, and I longed for a place I didn’t even know.

I wasn’t homesick because I had never loved my home. But I was yearning for a feeling I desperately wished for. I longed for that sentiment, for that nostalgia.

But it wouldn’t come.

There was a soft knock on my door, and I heard Mina humming outside, hovering like I had found her to do since I had been here. I didn’t know if it was due to her own motherly instincts or if Evren had asked her to do so since I had refused to allow him the task.

She walked inside before I could tell her to do so, and she came carrying another tray of food. I had only been here for two days, but already I had eaten more than I had in forever.