Before I Let Go (Skyland #1)(12)

I could handle it, mold it into exactly what I needed it to be, but fear I could not. My fear would damn me, but my anger would be my savior.

I pushed against Evren’s chest, forcing his body away from mine, and I blinked my eyes open with my new resolve.

Don’t let him in.

Evren’s gaze searched my own, and he opened his mouth but I beat him to it before he could utter a word.

“Go.” I nodded to the door.

“I’m not leaving for a few days, Adara.”

“Go,” I said again, and this time I hoped he heard how hollow I was trying to force myself to be. “I wish to be alone.”

“Princess, I know you’re angry, but…”

“Go!” My power surged inside me, stopping in its tracks where I was still trying to pull it away from him. It was hovering, waiting, like it had finally recognized the command of its master.

“Don’t do this, Adara.” I could see the spark back in Evren’s gaze, his anger returning full force with the taste of mine. “Don’t push me away because you’re scared.”

“I’m not.” I shook my head and tried to solidify my lie in my own head before I spoke it aloud. “I have spent more than enough time with the man who betrayed me, and I have nothing left to spare you. I simply wish to take a bath and sleep… or is that more than you’ll allow me while in your kingdom? Should I expect you to dress me up and parade me around like your brother did before you?”

I could feel his own power surging, slipping through his fingers as his anger built. He simply stood in place and stared at me as if he were trying to figure out who I was. But he wouldn’t find that answer staring back at him because I didn’t know the truth myself.

I was stuck in a haze of who I once thought I was and who I was destined to be, and I couldn’t find my way out. Everything I thought I knew was a lie. Every certainty that I had clung to, everything that had ever felt real. It had become smoke in my hands, and no matter how hard I gripped, it slid through my fingers.

“I will give you some time.” He bowed his head gently, and I scoffed at the show of honor.

“Lift your head, prince. Unless it’s easier for you to tell your lies when you’re bowing on your knees.”

He jerked his head up until he was looking directly at me, and a dark smirk formed on his lips.

“I will do whatever you want me to on my knees, princess. You want me to breathe all the wicked fucking truths to you against your thighs? I will. You want lies? I’ll worship you with my tongue while I tell you I don’t linger over your curves like a man starved. I’ll lie and say that your soft little moans don’t torture me at night when I try to rest. I’ll whisper a lie against your skin and make sure you know that my desire for you isn’t the most dangerous weapon that anyone can use against me.”

I sucked in a sharp breath as I choked on his words, and his gaze snapped to where my chest rose and fell with the rapid beat of my heart.

“I’ll tell you that leaving you here without me doesn’t feel like someone has my heart gripped in their fist squeezing tighter and tighter until I can’t remember how to breathe. So, which is it, princess? Do you want my truths or my lies? I am damned to give you whatever you want despite knowing it’s bad for me.”

An ache deep in my belly was making it hard to cling to anything other than the way he made me want him. My body was tired, I was tired, but still I wanted to reach out for him and beg him to give me everything he had just promised. “Please get out.”

He ran his tongue over his bottom lip before he reached forward again and pressed his thumb against my mouth. His own desire was screaming at me, begging me to challenge him, to make him give me exactly what he promised.

He pressed firmly against my lip, dragging it down as he slowly lowered his hand, and he didn’t stop until his hand pressed gently against my neck. His thumb rubbed against the spot where my pulse was hammering in want and confusion, and he watched the movement wordlessly.

I started to reach for him, to beg him for anything he was willing to give, when a soft knock sounded on the door. I expected Evren to drop his hand, to skirt back from me as quickly and easily as he did in the fae kingdom, but he did neither of those things. His hand tightened slightly, and moisture rushed between my thighs as I watched his want shift into anger at whoever was interrupting us.

“We’re not finished with this,” he leaned in and whispered against my skin, and the promise made me want to bar the door and refuse to let anyone else in.

I let out a slow, shaky breath as my pulse pounded beneath his fingers, but Evren slowly pulled his hand away from my neck and slid his gaze over my body, a measured caress as he took in every part of me.

He let out a huff of frustration before he turned from me and moved to the door. A woman a bit older than my own mother stood there with a tray of food in one arm and what looked to be clothes in the other.

My spine straightened as she stepped inside the room. My body was still thrumming from Evren’s touch, and I wasn’t prepared to see anyone else. It didn’t matter that her face was kind and aged with years of living, I had to treat everyone in this kingdom as a threat.

“I’m sorry, Evren.” She blushed, but she didn’t bow her head. “I didn’t realize you were in here or I would have waited.”