Baking Me Crazy (Donner Bakery, #1)(41)

No wonder Levi called me Sonic. When my prickles were up, they were up, and God help anyone who tried to approach.

So even though I didn't want to answer Joy's question about whether I was okay, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"I asked someone out today. And he said no."

"Ohhhh," she breathed. "I'm sorry, Joss. He's stupid."

I smiled a little bit. "He's not stupid, just unavailable."

She nodded earnestly. "I understand unrequited love."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She sighed.

I wiped my hands on my apron and eyed her expression. "So no boyfriend for you?"

She leaned up against the large stainless steel island, facing me. "Nope."

"Me neither."

"No girlfriend, either," she continued. "Not even a dog or a cat."

Nero's dopey face popped into my head. It was nice to have someone to cuddle with at night, even if he got around on four paws and ate his own shit from time to time.

"It's depressing, actually."

I grimaced. "Sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up."

Behind Joy, Jenn's husband Cletus came in, giving me charming, wide smile in greeting. He was a giant grizzly of a man, barrel-chested with a full beard covering his handsome face.

If my sweet co-worker understood unrequited love, it was probably because of this guy. I tried to elbow her, but I missed because I wasn't looking.

Joy was off in her own head, staring straight ahead at the large trays of finished cupcakes. "I really need to replace my vibrator now that I'm thinking about it."

My eyes widened, my mouth fell open, and Cletus froze midstride with a horrified expression on his face.

"I, uhh," he said haltingly, "I'll go now. Just … just trying to find Jenn."

Joy gasped and whirled around, her hand clasping the front of her apron. "Oh Lordamercy, did I say that out loud?"

His bright red face clashed with the shade of his hair, and I had to bite my lips not to burst out laughing. Thankfully, his legs were long because it only took him a few strides to exit the kitchen, a proverbial cloud of dust in his wake.

I dissolved into laughter when the door swung shut, and Joy covered her face with her hands.

"I really said that in front of him, didn't I?"

"Yes."

She groaned. "I'll never be able to face him again, Joss."

Suddenly, my morning didn't seem all that bad, so I laid a hand on her arm. "Hey, don't worry about it. Seriously. You're a grown ass woman, and if you want to talk about your vibrators in public, you go right ahead."

To my absolute horror, her eyes were full of tears when she dropped her hands.

"Oh Joy, please don't cry."

"I'm not crying," she said as she started crying.

"Shit," I whispered under my breath. I locked my wheels and pushed myself up to standing so I could shuffle forward and wrap my arms around her.

"Oh, merciful Lord in heaven, you can walk!" she shrieked, jumping sideways, almost knocking me over in the process.

"Would you calm down so I can hug you?" I snapped once I'd gotten my balance. Sorry, Doctor, I didn't mean to fall over and break my leg. I was trying to awkwardly comfort a co-worker who started crying.

Joy flung herself at me, and I breathed out a laugh, patting her back with one hand while I braced myself on the counter with the other, just in case.

"You're so tall." She sniffed.

Pat, pat.

"I am."

Sniff, sniff. "I'm sorry I almost knocked you over."

I sighed. "It's okay. I did kind of spring that on you."

Joy pulled away from my hella awkward hug, wiping her face. "So you can walk?"

"Not exactly." After lowering myself back into my seat, I leaned down to straighten my feet on the footrest. "I'm working on building my leg strength, but I still don't really have much feeling from just above my knees down to my feet. So with a walker or arm braces, I can walk. On my own, I can only manage about fifteen feet right now before I need help with my balance."

"That's amazing, Joss," Joy said, eyes dry and clear, full of more than a touch of admiration. That always made me feel twitchy, and I'd never wanted to delve into why. As if I should be handed a trophy because my body did something I had no control over. I didn't feel like there was anything about me worth admiring, other than that I was living, like everyone else.

We all had shit we dealt with—things that made life hard sometimes—and mine was just simply more visible to the naked eye because I sat in it every single day. I think that was what made it seem bigger to people. Because you couldn't not be aware of it.

If Joy was lonely or depressed, she'd be able to hide that.

Someone who was anxious, stressed, or whatever it might be could paste a smile on their face, and even the people closest to them might not understand the challenges they faced every day.

My challenges were different; they involved narrow doorways and more of a workout to get dressed, skinnier legs than I would've preferred to have, and looks of pity or active ignorance.

"I think you're amazing too, Joy," I told her. She could tell I meant it, based on the shy smile covering her round, happy face. "Your parents picked a good name for you."